Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Funnies

Why do they call the little candy bars that are passed out at Halloween...FUN- size. I find it inspires me to keep eating more and more and more just waiting for the FUN to start.

I'm working on my costume...a witch as usual, not too much of a stretch here.

I have mom coming tonight to make her doughnuts at my house, since we are trying to keep Laila down and "calm." I find sugar and more sugar are excellent strategies for this.

Life is sweet...ha, ha, ha

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Grateful Season

I am kicking off the "grateful" season a few days early this year. ....

I still am sick of my chub-- and I'm getting chubbier, but currently I'm just grateful for my life!

I'm grateful for life's challenges that make me stronger, and remind me to fall on my knees and turn to God.

I'm grateful for my Wayne-- he truly is the love of my life and I thank the Lord Daily for him and that he loves "crazy 'ol" me!

I'm grateful for what a great father Wayne is. Last night he came home from work with Graham cra- ck -ers, Marshmallows and chocolate. He lit the gas fireplace in the Living room and he and Laila had S'mores and told scary stories, and read books together. What a sight!

I'm grateful for all of the food and dinners and treats showing up at my house. No cooking for me. We have sat at the dining room table, as a family, every night this week, and had great food and laughed and enjoyed each other. What a blessing!

I'm grateful for my friends who walk and talk with me each morning, and bring me Dark Chocolate to melt in my mouth.

I'm grateful for a sweet daughter who holds my hand and says, "When we hold hands it feels like there's magic and nothing can hurt us.”

I'm grateful for 4 strong sons, who handle "crisis" and come out the other end sweeter and stronger and more loving. 4 sons who still hug and kiss their mom.

I'm grateful for art and creativity and being able to make things. I love watching Addison and his Art-- sculpting of elf-people currently. He is inspirational. He just dives in and tries things.

I'm grateful for a supportive and wonderful Mother in Law--- this is a blessed word in our home. Wanee comes each day and plays and reads and takes care of Laila so I can shower and have a break.

I'm grateful for the 1st grade school Halloween program. So darling. It was great to see Laila on the step remembering most everything, after not having practiced it for 8 days. She was expressive and .........a miracle!

I have a grateful heart......may it ever be so.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Halloween gingerbread house

Scene opens: A beautiful, just fresh from the ER, brown eyed , happily creating a Halloween gingerbread house with her mother.

"Please pass the candy, mother," says Laila.
"Yes, Darling. " responds Mother. " Oh, this Halloween kit is just wonderful. The icing totally holds the cookie structure together with no problems."
"Yes, we are having a lovely bonding time, mother, more sprinkles please," replies Laila, sweetly, as she puts orange jack-o-lanterns in a line on the roof top.
"This is the perfect out of the hospital project. I'm so glad we have this," laughs mother.
"I love you mother," says Laila with a tight squeeze.
" And I love you Laila," says mother as she holds up the picture perfect Haunted Cookie House that looks just like the one on the box. Everyone is smiling.

Now for......Real Life:

L: I can do this myself...I don't need any help.
M: I will help you or we are putting it away right now.
L: Why isn't the icing holding this together?
M: Oh my word you have black and orange icing everywhere. We need to wash your hands.
L: The candies aren't sticking. I don't want the icing there, that's not how it looks on the box!
M: The icing isn't working. Let's try microwaving it. Bad idea.
L: The house fell down again-- what is wrong with this?
M: Wash your hands-- you are turning all of the candy black.
L: Oops, I dropped all of the candy on the floor, the dog is eating it!!
M: The roof fell off again!!!
L: You ruin everything!!!!!!! ( Screamed at the top of her lungs.)
M: ( Silence as she tries not to say anything she will regret)


L: I forgive you.
M: Get the Glue gun!
L: I can't eat it if we glue it.
M: You won't eat it anyway. Let's go change our clothes. I love you Laila.
L: Yeah, yeah, I love you too mom.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Food, Glorious Food!

Food, Glorious Food is showing up at our home in abundance.

I denied the blessing to neighbors, family and friends to feed our family during the Wayne-C-Scare, so now we get double the blessings.

We got two dinners last night--- we were sitting down eating lovely chicken and rice, with jello salad and a bacon/corn veggie with homemade cheese biscuits...and dessert of course; when the door bell rang and dinner number 2 arrived: Potato cheese soup, hot rolls, apple waldorf salad, apple juice, and more dessert.

As I write this , I look on to my kitchen counter and I see dozens of nut filled brownies, ginger cookies, 8 caramel apples, a plate filled with pumpkin choco chip bread, a small plate of peanut butter rice krispies topped with melted chocolate, a plate filled with chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, a bat cookie from parson's bakery, a shake from Arctic circle that is melting, Banana bread, 4 bags of Snicker bars, caramel popcorn and......and...... and it just keeps on coming.

We have homemade rolls and lasagna and spaghetti and the fridge and freezer.

It's a good thing I'm an emotional eater and Food= Love

I feel very loved right now.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Imperfect Life

We are so grateful to the Lord for keeping our Laila with us!!!

Laila is home and happy and has to "stay down" for a week, then slowly get back to school and life. I've taken her out of all of her lessons, and spoken to her teacher...etc.... She has had visitors and presents and Perlerbeads galore.
Now, I have to find quiet activities for her to do --wish me luck. Her grandmas have come by already this morning with activity books, tray puzzles, and a Halloween gingerbread house to construct.
Spending all this time with my darling girl has it's ups and downs. She is a cuddle bucket, but very bossy. She wants to watch the same DVD-- Hocus Pocus over and over and over...I'm trying to interest her in a new show.
Her head is pounding, which is to be expected, but her memory and motor skills are good--- which is such a blessing.

Being this close to Laila -- physically close--all the time, has made her look at me in a new light.
I would want her to see me as "perfect." She totally doesn't, she sees me as me.

I have a chubby lower back that amazes my Laila. She has asked me more than once, what this part of my body is called, as she pokes it over and over again with her finger, "What 's this pushy part called?" I tell her it's my back, she disagrees. "It looks more like a bum."

What surprises me most, is she is right!!

So now as I look in the mirror I realize I have 3 bums-- upper bum, bum and lower bum--the part that has slipped into my thighs.
She was this physically close as a baby and toddler but didn't have the verbal skills to comment on my body.
Now, I don't want her to see my hairy face, bulging belly or notice the other things "wrong" with me.
I know Laila is just innocently commenting-- not being mean or negative. I put the negative spin on it.
Oh, I can laugh about it...but it is interesting to note how I felt when she said this.

We are all imperfect beings with imperfect bodies having this life experience.

I'm just glad her perfect little body is on the mend.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Musings on a Sunday morn

Almost home....a lot of sprite got sipped and swallowed this morning between 7 and 8:30am--- more than all day yesterday, so we are clear to go home.
Yeah for home!
Home is such a good feeling word in my mouth and in my heart.

Wayne gets off his plane at 9:00 and is coming straight to the hospital. It will be so good to have him here. Then I can turn all of this over to his sleepy but very capable arms. I need to have a week long nap. (A can dream.)

It's amazing how life and plans can change so quickly. Last month a cancer scare with my sweet Wayne, now it's a traumatic brain injury for Laila. What's next? How about a vacation for Melinda?

Laila has to stay down and slow til Thanksgiving and no "crazy town" til next spring.
It's going to be a struggle to keep this kid down. Infact, as the nurse was explaining the new ground rules for recovery, Laila climbed out of her hospital bed and stood on a roller chair so she could see a get well sign in her hospital room better. The nurse gasped and I just didn't really pay attention to the hazard of the roller chair, as usual. It's going to be a rough 4 to 6 weeks, but I'm glad to do it..... no running, jumping, climbing, skipping, recess, PE, no tumbling, ballet, rehearsal. School for 2 hours a day at first, then build back into it. Just slow and steady and quiet activities for weeks. Yeah right. ( sense the sarcasm?)
Laila has always been a coordinated monkey-- climbing and running-- everything fast!
In kindergarten her teacher asked what she wanted to be when she grew up....her reply:
"A Space- walker ( astronaut) or a Race car driver--- I like going fast"

I asked her if she was glad she chose to stay on earth instead of going to Heaven on Thursday. "Of course I'm glad...I get to be yours for a long time." she sassily replied.

Love her.

Landon has been a great help these past 4 days. He is a trooper in a crisis. All the brothers are great, but he just really knows what to do and how to care. He has brought me food and fun, and hung around while Wayne couldn't.

Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. One night in a chair in the PICU and two nights on a plastic , hospital pull out bed does not make for good sleep. Probably 12 total hours in the last 3 days. Living on love and coke.

Can't wait to be filled up today with tales of what was taught in church. I love the gospel and I love having faith in God. Happy to choose life. Wondering why I spend so much energy on earth bound things and stuff.
Good wake up call, again, for enjoying the little things and remembering life is filled with the small moments.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Hospital Food

We keep trying to entice Laila with yummy Hospital food. Primaries has better food than most, but she isn't cooperating. If she will drink and eat she can go home.
Laila had 3 tiny bites of pancake for breakfast with a small bacon piece, I ate the rest.
For lunch she tried a cheese pizza, an orange smoothie and a chocolate shake-- she took one bite of each, I ate the rest with the help of Addison and Landon.
Re - do for lunch--- chicken nuggets-- she ate one, guess who ate the rest?
Dinner-- mint Dibs and chocolate ice cream. I had the Dibs and she ate 2 ozs. of the ice cream. That's what we've eaten today.
For liquid- she has had one 12 oz sprite that she has nursed all day long. Frustrating.
She is doing great concussion-wise. Neck Brace is off--- head ache is handled with tylenol....but not eating and especially not drinking leads to dehydration.

So we are stuck at the hospital waiting for her to get thirsty. She keeps saying she wants to go home but her belly isn't cooperating.

At home we have food showing up-- and basically it's going in the fridge and freezer til the family gathers once again to eat it. Who knows when that will be.
Wayne is still trying to get a flight home from China-- it looks like Sunday is when he'll get home now.

Blogging helps to clear my mind.....this .....and prayer.

Mexican Food = DC

We had Cafe Rio salads brought into the hospital last night for dinner from Landon's friend. I love a good salad, and my mouth was watering, especially after eating candy, cookies and trail mix all day long.
I have lots of treats here. I had my carry on luggage packed for the China trip so now it's at the hospital with me. I seem very prepared for this hospital visit. I have treats, candy and more treats; magazines and a book to read, oh, and my lap top.

The perfect treat after an entirely traumatic, sleepless night, and a no nap day is ......drumroll please.......a Diet Coke.

I miss my Diet Coke. I know I've already blogged about this....but I do.
Some mornings I wake up and just want that taste in my mouth.
So I had a Diet Coke yesterday to keep me awake and functioning through out my zombie day.
It tasted Great!

I've decided Mexican food and Diet Coke are the perfect match.
I can't even think of having Mexican food with out a diet coke.....Cafe Rio is good because it actually has caffeine free Diet coke., but most Mexican places don't.

I've decided I'm going to allow myself diet coke when I eat Mexican food and when I'm in the Hospital trying to stay awake.

I think I'll eat Mexican food every day this week!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Fortune Cookies

Fortune cookies given to me by sweet, RS Pres. Ann Van Horn to cheer up the Welch's while sitting in Laila's trauma unit room, watching her sleep.

"Your luck has been completely changed for the better today."

"You will always have good luck in your personal affairs."

"Something special is coming your way."

"Speculations will turn out well."

"Don't ever hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems."

Life is going to be good. The Fortune cookies told us so.

Great things can come from food!

Real LIfe Trauma

My baby is in the Neuro -Trauma Unit at Primaries.
She had a big head bonk when she fell off of an orphan's shoulders at an Annie rehearsal at BHS. She got hurt doing something she loves.
"Being in a show with the big kids on the big stage -- with lines this time."

She has a traumatic brain injury and has concussive symptoms.

I can't believe all of the love and support from families and friends--it's been overwhelming and comforting.

Oh well.
It's been hard.

I should be in China right now on the trip I have planned with wonderful friends, seeing amazing things, experiencing a new culture and holding my Wayne.
Instead I'm with wonderful family and friends, seeing my amazing Laila lying with 7 tubes and wires in her body, experiencing the medical culture and holding my boys.

It's been a real wake up call for slowing down and enjoying my sweet 61/2 year old chiquita, bonita, Lalita more! All my kids more. Slow down my life, more.

Sometimes real life gets in the way of my fun life.

Wayne is struggling as he is trying to get home from China-- The fast way puts him home on Saturday at midnight. Talk about the slow boat from China. Uugh!

No food or weight or body traumas this time.....just real life trauma .

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Random thoughts.

The house looks as though There's no one around;
There isn't a light There isn't a sound.
In darkness each year, I feel the same shame--
Having eaten the treats Before the kids came.

I didn't buy any candy this year, because I'll be in China, and I told the boys to leave the house before it gets dark and hang out at grandma's or a friend's house. No need to have candy just sitting around the house if I can't eat it.

I've been doing my on 20 days of eating good and then off 20 days and I've noticed that I've now been off 30 days, going on 45. ...Hmmmm...
I have another confession, I haven't stepped on my scale for over 3 weeks. It just dustily sits on the floor and haunts me anyway. It's the scariest Halloween decoration in my home.

I'm still wondering about my food survival plan in China and if I should be taking some Dove Dark bars along for the ride?--- I figure I can always get one at the airport, if I hear it calling my name. (Please call, please call)

I have a list a mile long to wade through so I can feel prepared enough to leave for 12 days. 12 days is a long time to be away from the fam. Yeah for modern day conveniences though. Skype, Cell phones, email, internet. I can easily check School grades and absences from Bejing. Keep the boys in line from a distance.

I'm excited to be off--- freaky food, terrifying toilets and fun adventure awaits!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Take a walk on the Dark Side

I'm dreaming about Dove Dark Chocolate.

Not the individual dove dark Expressions-- those are too waxy, but the Dove Rich dark Chocolate candy bar-- break off a small chunk and savor it.

MMMM-- it's a good dream.

I have fond memories of wandering around NYC this past August with our good friends, the Belnaps. Eric loves dark chocolate as much as Wayne and I. It was fun to traipse through out our days, checking on Wayne's pedometer to see how far we had traveled-- and stopping every now and then in search of awesome dark chocolate.
We had Ghiradelli, Teuschers, Lindt, Godiva and Dove. Any little candy shop we would pass by, Eric would stop and ask for the "darkest", then share it with Wayne and me.
Eric likes it really dark and sometimes bitter.
I like it dark and smooth---
I love to just leave it on my tongue and have it slowly melt away....LOVE IT----it's mouth-gasmic!
(I don't know how else to explain it.)

The Dove Dark is excellent. Not expensive. Available in most stores. Really hits the spot.

We are getting ready to travel again with the Belnaps and I'm thinking we are not going to have the dark chocolate success in China that we had in NYC-- maybe I'll take my own stash.

The hardest part is sharing it.
Now back to my dreams......

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Motivation and Habit

Motivation is what gets
you started.
Habit is what
keeps you going.
~ Jim Ryun

Woke up.
Ate leftover brownies while standing in my kitchen doing the dishes from the night before.
My feet hurt. I walked with Si yesterday afternoon. She said she was jet lagged and would be walking slow. I didn't wear my good running shoes. She lied. My feet hurt.
Wayne is off to China.. I will soon follow.
Miss him already.
I'm not motivated to work out today, but habit is taking over. 8:30 will be here and I will get my shoes on and I will do it!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Chinese Conundrum

Eating in China is going to be an adventure!!

Bob and Wayne and Eric will eat anything. I'm sure there are a few exceptions, but I'm not exactly clear on that. They are excited about the interesting delicacies and the authentic places we will eat on our vacay.
On the Other hand, Laura and Kimi are thinking McDonalds-- alot and often-- sounds great!

I plan on trying most everything, as long as you don't tell me what it is before hand. I'm better with the unknown. I can probably eat a baby chick brain, if I don't know I'm eating a baby chick brain.
I loved watching the Olympics and seeing the night food market--lizards, scorpion, set my mouth to watering.
(Just kidding.)
But it would be interesting to experience, or atleast interesting to take pictures of the experience.

L. and K. were going to take an entire suitcase filled with granola bars, licorice, hot tamales, dots..."normal" food to get them through for 12 days. Now they are reconsidering and hoping this time in China will be a good diet jump start for them to lose weight.

I'm in a conundrum....or I just like that I can use that word finally, but whatever it is, I'm in it. Do I participate in the Chinese fasting with L. and K. or do I "man" up and eat all the freaky food with W. and B. and E.?
I guess the scales will tell when I come back and weigh myself after the vacation.

Yep, It's going to be an adventure.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Channeling Julia Child

Raced home from Church , filled with the spirit and wanted to fill my belly as well. I had cooking on my mind. In the past 2 hours since...I cleaned out the fridge and found ingredients for the following:
Chicken Enchilada's ( Si's recipe)
French Bread ( Di's Recipe)
and Cheese Broccoli soup (Marcie's recipe)
We are going to have some mighty good eating today!
I don't know why I'm channeling Julie Child all of a sudden, but it feels good.
Maybe I'm making up for my upcoming lack of kitchen time, whilst I'm in China for 12 days. Or...
Maybe I'm trying to be the Ultimate Mother of Zion as it proclaims on my license plate. Or...
Maybe I'm sick of all of the frozen food hiding out in the garage.
I don't know -
But I'm feeling the "Joy of Cooking."
If my family will just eat everything I made, I will be a real success.
(Score 10 extra points.)

It's going to be a full day of eating all the way around.
We have Cole family birthdays tonight too....more cake and ice cream and treats!

I have a headache today...I've actually had one over my eye and /or behind my ear for 3 days now. I would blame it on caffeine withdrawals with the no diet coke , but I did that weeks ago, so I don't know why my head is pounding. Maybe food will help me to feel better. I learned this feed a cold/ feed a fever/ feed whatever ails you nursing trick from my mother.
Love her.
So I'm cooking today....

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Food is everywhere

A freezing cold football game on a bleak, frigid night in Bountiful is just right with a steaming, hot cup of cocoa.
We sat and froze while Bountiful kicked Skyview all over the field. It was a beautiful thing.
But sitting and freezing definitely was helped by Hot Cocoa and Hot baked potatoes.
My friend Michelle knew what she was doing when she showed up with a container of baked potatoes wrapped in foil--at half time she started passing them out to anyone who would take one-- I took two. Ahhh, heaven, as my hands and heart warmed up. I was ready to pack up and leave prior to the potato passing.

It's amazing to me how food plays into every aspect of life.

Ladies who Lunch.
Parents and pastries. (aargh)
Relief Society Enrichment nights.
Young women's/men's activities.
Seminary graduation.
Concessions at Movies and live theatre shows.
Jazz Games, Bees Games, University ball games.
The Circus
Candle parties, tupperware parties, jewelry parties, pampered chef
A visiting teacher treat with a message of course.
Get will wishes
Wedding and Baby showers
Thank you notes
Scrapbooking snacks
Wedding receptions
Opening night treats
Closing night treats
1/2 marathon running along the route and after the race.
It truly is mind boggling.

Any event just isn't complete with out the " light refreshments served," at the end.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Pedometer worries

Wayne got me a pedometer.
Wayne has been wearing one for years. He has gone through so many pedometers, or lost so many pedometers, that now he has found the ultimate one. It reads your aerobic steps as compared to regular steps. It converts it to miles. It stores previous days steps. All good right?
I don't know.
I'm conflicted when it comes to my pedometer.
It's always with me...but I don't really love it.

Going for the 10,000 steps a day is a good goal. Sometimes I feel happy when I check out my pedometer at the end of the day and see 1o,078....other days I go to bed depressed...a 3,765 day is not good, a less than 1,000 step day sends me to depressionville.

When I do reach the 10,000 plus goal, I just take off my pedometer and don't wear it the rest of the day.. Wayne finds this ridiculous. I should see if I can get 11, 12, 15, 16,000 step days as well. We are of two different mind sets on this. He's competitive with his pedometer, I am not.

My pedometer is just one more thing to worry about.

Plus how do I keep this pedometer on my body. I don't have that many pocketed pants.
I have to wear a belt, because of the lower waisted pants I wear on my no-waist- no-bum body I inherited from my dad. So I'm already thick around the middle. Now I add my cell phone and my pedometer to that. I have so much around my waist I feel like I'm wearing a Batman utility belt.

I didn't really love my Pedometer....but then I lost it.
It fell off my belt somehow and I was without it. I searched everywhere! Then I was out walking one morning with my good friend, Diane, and there was my pedometer, just lying on the grass by the side of the road. Hmmmm....I don't know how it got there. I was rejoicing. What was lost was now found. I could count my steps again.
"Holy Cow Batman, how many steps did I get today?"

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Food as a Block

I've been doing an Artist workshop for 10 weeks-- it's a 12 week program to help unlock creativity. I've really enjoyed the reading and the tasks involved.
I used to think I was a creative person and had a colorful changing home, and wild apparel and being in shows to prove it. I used to feel more creative and now I'm just stuck....I'm using this workshop to help me get back to me.
Anyway--I was reading and I came upon this Aha-moment.
This is what the book said about food:

"For some people, food is a creativity issue. Eating sugar or fats or certain carbohydrates may leave them feeling dulled, hung over, unable to focus--blurry. They use food to block energy and change. As a shaky feeling comes over them that they are going too fast and God knows where, that they are about to fly apart, these people reach for food. A big bowl of ice cream, an evening of junk food, and their system clogs: What was I thinking? What...? Oh, never mind....
Food is good in itself. It is the abuse of it that makes it a creativity issue.
If creativity is like a burst of the universe's breath through the straw that is each of us, we pinch that straw whenever we pick up one of our blocks. We shut down our flow. And we do it on purpose.
This block drowns out the little voice that suggests rearranging the living room, taking a pottery class, trying a new top on the story that's stymied. The minute a creative thought raises its head, it is lopped off by the obsession( with food ) which blocks fear and prevents risk.

Blocking is essentially an issue of faith. Rather than trust our intuition, our talent, our skill, our desire, we fear where our creator is taking us with this creativity. Rather than paint, write, dance, audition, and see where it takes us, we pickup a block. Blocked, we know who and what we are: unhappy people. Unblocked, we may be something much more threatening--happy!"

I found this so fascinating and true for me....This is exactly what I have been doing in my life for years. In trying to juggle too many balls and keep my home moving forward, I've been using food and busyness to stop being the creative me.

This is a lot for me to think about and digest...but I like what it's saying to me.
Forward to Creativity.....

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Meal Wagon

Wayne had his TTumor operation and we are in recuperation mode.
My mom in law said she would bring in dinner for us--I said no.
I would really like this if I actually made dinner for my family each night and thought I would be out of commission being a nurse maid to Wayne and all. Running ragged filling ice bags and keeping him comfortable, listening for the "bell," answering his every whim. But no.
I realize I'm missing out on a good thing here -- I told everyone who offered we don't need meals brought in. Now I'm having second thoughts. I love eating other people's food! I love eating.
I only make dinner 3 days a week ( Sunday, Monday and Wednesday) and the rest of the time the boys have to do the freezer forage and Laila eats a piece of melted cheese bread.
But alas, I will cook and the boys will eat it whether they like it or not. Had I been thinking and conniving I could have set up Relief Society meals for a month--or atleast a week. Oh well.
It has been fun having cookies and pie brought in as get-well-soon treats. Yeah for that.
As you can tell. I'm still off the wagon. I'm so far off the diet wagon I don't even know where the wagon is any more.
I'll find it again some day I'm sure, along with my marbles.
Living in Crazy town.
Bye---gotta go make dinner.....

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Grateful for my body!

I'm grateful for my body!
I'm grateful that I can move freely without pain. I don't have neck problems or siatic ( how do you spell it) nerve issues. I'm not dizzy. I'm not tired---even without the diet coke. I can dance and jump and walk quickly. I can scrub walls and paint without feeling it the next day. I can touch my toes and exercise.
I love my healthy body.
I can see with glasses , and I can hear. I can smell and taste and just feel so blessed to not have physical body struggles.

I'm thinking about this today because my Wayne is in the operating room as I write having a tumor removed from his body. It will be taken out and biopsied to see just what's happening in his insides.
Wayne has had a lot of interesting health issues. He handles them all bravely and with grace. He is a great example to me. He chooses Faith, and so do I.

I don't know why some bodies fall apart faster than others.

We all have our set of challenges, that's for sure.
Some of us have employment issues, some money issues, some spiritual issues, some health.....body, etc....

I know I wouldn't trade my bag of troubles for any one elses.
Yes....I'm grateful for my body.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Miss Laila and Les Mis

Laila loves Les Miserables at the high school. She has seen all 10 performances and would see more. She loves the whole highschool experience, the kids, the rehearsals, the shows. She is a drama geek already and I love it.....YEAH!

Truman plays Marius and Monson plays 5 various parts-- (convict, thief, tavern boy,wedding guest and alternate Jean Val Jean muppet character-- don't ask) so she has brothers to watch on stage, but beyond that, she really likes this dramatic show and loves the music. She is always singing random bits and pieces of it: Lovely Ladies, Empty Chairs, Do You Hear the people Sing? Every time the show ends with , "to love another person is to see the face of God," she cries.

This show has been the perfect baby sitter for us. I've seen the show a number of times, but I just can't be there every night. So..... I drop Laila off at BHS before 7:00 with a dollar in hand. She goes back stage and wishes the actors luck, sits on the front row, on the side, so she can give the actors high fives as they come off stage in the blackouts. At intermission she buys and eats half of a Snickers bar. She claps hard and laughs in all of the right places. When Les Mis is over she hugs all of her actor friends.
I pick her up at 9:30.
She then hands over to me what's left of her Snickers and I eat the other half.

It's the perfect arrangement.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Recession shmeshion!

My friend asked me out to lunch the other day. She picked me up and asked where I wanted to eat. When I mentioned restaurants that weren't necessarily diet-legal, she said we couldn't go there, in an effort to support me in my craziness.
I was in a mood---
I had just been listening to the coming "lack" on a tv program, and had a mind shift.

I told her, " I'm going to eat what I want, when I want with whom ever I want, where ever I want....after all we're in a recession!!!
Who knows where my next meal will come from?"

We ate pie.

I'm going to be so sad, when I'm actually going to have to eat out of my food storage or72 hour kit--not sad because of the situation. I say bring it on!! (The food will probably be tolerable.) But I'll be sad because of my memories of all of the wonderful food I've passed up in my life for the sake of my diet!

All this will come back to haunt me when I'm sitting in my bunker using my wind up transistor radio trying to listen to the state of the world.....hmmmm...scarey thought. I'd give anything for a chocolate bar at that point.

IDEA: Find the chocolate bar that has the longest shelf life and put it in my food storage!
On second thought, I would probably have to have someone do this for me, but not tell me about it so I wouldn't know that the chocolate was in my basement.

If I know about the sweeties down there , they won't last.

Eat, drink and be merry?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Parents and Pastries

I boycotted parents and pastries this year at our local elementary school.

I didn't want to go down to the school in my mismatched sweat suit with non combed hair, with glasses and my "boy" face on. I didn't want to be enticed with the smell of sweet rolls wafting my way while I tried to concentrate on what Laila was reading to me. I just said had to say NO.
I let Laila sleep in and drove her to school right at the last minute so she wouldn't know of my evil plan. She'll probably come home to day complaining about our missed carb opportunity. OH well.

I loved when the school just had Dads and Doughnuts-- now that's a good plan. Dad's can roll out of bed, put on a baseball cap and they are ready to be seen. They don't care about their weight and can afford a few extra carbs in the wee hours of the morning.

Mom's and Muffins was another morning my school tried. Bad idea! I try to eat protein in the morning, whether I want to or not...I can't be eating doughnuts and muffins and sweetrolls before noon....I'm good every day, atleast until noon...Then I only have a half a day of eating poorly left. IF I begin this sweet carb eating at eight, my day is all down hill from there.

Maybe if they called this Parents and Pastries and Pathetic attire-- I would go. I mean the thought of sweet treats that I didn't have to make, is exciting. But what to wear? There's always the outside of the home, working moms who are dressed and make-up'd and ready for their day. Then there are the mom's who actually got up an hour earlier for this event and showered and dressed and are looking all perky and cute. Then there is me....groggy, grumpy and gross shoving doughnuts in my mouth trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Not a good thing.

I know I shouldn't be so vain....but I am what I am...
I know you are thinking...isn't this about education and bonding in a school activity with your child? oh, yeah right.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Pie Sale at Marie's

Have I told you about my love affair with Pie? ? I get so excited when I see Marie Callendar's having their $6.99 pie sale....oh it makes my heart flutter. My two favorite months are October and February and all because of the Semi Annual Pie sale!!

I love all kinds of pie. There truly isn't one I don't like. I eat everything. Chocolate, Coconut, Banana and Double cream Lemon Pie. Pumpkin, Apple, French Apple, Cherry, Fresh Strawberry, Triple berry, Cream cheese blueberry, Peach, and Rhubarb. I will even eat the dreaded MinceMeat Pie if it has enough rum sauce over it.

My mom has always had a pie night, the night before Thanksgiving. She started this when I was little. My mom is a great pie maker. She makes about 20 pies at Thanksgiving, then we eat them all the night before turkey day, that way we're not all full. She created the "russian " serving for Pie night..It's called a "one-of-each." Say it really fast and it sounds russian. IT's a beautiful thing. A plate with a sliver of each kind of pie on it. Yum.

I remember, one day, on some crazy diet, way back when, after eating watermelon and protein for weeks, that I could have an entire day dedicated to eating pie. I lived at Marie Callendar's. IT was amazing. I ate and ate and ate. I was sick!!!
That hasn't stopped my love affair with pie though.

I buy a BHS Brave card every year just because it has a free slice of pie with entree section....I can have free pie all year!

I love Rhubarb pie!!!
I have my own Rhubarb pie club: Me and Wayne, Addison, Eric J. and Eric B.....are all in the click. We know what a great pie this truly is. Heat it up with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and you've got yourself a lick the plate clean type of treat!

Well.....enough rhapsodizing about P. I. E..

This year is going to be different.
I will stay in control and not let the Marie Callendar pie demon over take me.

I'm not going to go one afternoon and buy a french apple pie and eat it all by myself, where no one can see and be disappointed in me. Then quickly hide the evidence. Box in the trash, wash the tin. No, I'm not going to do this. And......

I'm not going to go to lunch there with my friends and then get the free pie with the meal and order it "to go" because I'm so full and on "a diet." I'm not going to say I'm taking this home to the boys, and then eat it in my car as I drive home. And....

I'm not going to collect all my tins and go down and have an almost "free" chocolate satin pie because I've saved up so many tins. I won't get my almost "free" pie that feels like a gift, so I have to eat it.

I won't do this, not this time.

I just won't turn on the tv and see the Pie ads and I won't drive down 5th south....I'll drive another way so I can avoid the pie sale sign altogether. Yep, that's what I'll do.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Blog Comments

Although you don't see many comments on my blog-- I do have a few people email me their thoughts and feelings on my constant weight ramblings and some that just call me on the phone, or stop me at church or the store. I appreciate knowing someone is out there.

One thing I get comments on a lot, is the ugly feet standing on the scale on my blog. Please, I already told you they aren't mine. Evidently they are so ugly it's hard for some to concentrate on my eloquence. They get side tracked and have feelings of disgust over whelm them and have to go to a different blog to recuperate.

So , I'm searching for a new picture. I've yet to find something that catches my attention. When I do you'll be the first to see.

I get friends telling me they are glad I'm doing this, that they relate or laugh. I also get sugar addiction comments and some emails that say how witty I am. Well, thanks (now I'm blushing) and I can't help you with your sugar traumas because I have enough problems of my own!!
Just Kidding.
It's good to know we are all in this together.

But enough about me....oh wait, this is about me.

Any way thanks for reading my rants. It's good to know I have a small audience, because I'm always better when someone is

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Laughing and Crying

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out, but I can usually shut her up with chocolate!

I don't know who said this, but I love it. It's true and funny for me at the same time.

I love to laugh. It's better than crying...but I love a good cry too.

I'm trying to deal with my food/life follies with humor.

If I can find the funny , then I can get through to the next moment.

I found this comment today by Jack Handy of Saturday Night Live fame--

“If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting”

I hope there's more in me than enchiladas. I hope I have more substance than that. I want to be god-like. I want to think higher thoughts.....I ...I...I don't want to give up hope!

I have a righteous crush on Pres. Uchtdorf. I think he is so handsome.... "a silver fox." My boys laugh at this. But really he could tell me anything--even if it was boring-- and I would just listen long as I could see him that is.

It was great to hear what he said about hope, this past weekend, in Conference.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Hope is a gift of the spirit...a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and with all commandments we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope."

"No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations."

"The things we hope in, sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through trials, temptations, and sorrow. Everyone has experienced discouragement and difficulty. Indeed there are times when the darkness may seem unbearable. It is in these times that the divine principles of the restored gospel we hope in, can uphold us and carry us until once again we walk in the light."

So, I laughed and now I'm crying again. Thanks E. Uchtdorf--- I just love that man.
I hope all is well!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


I watched a difficult battle on Thursday, when I witnessed my soph son on the football field. BHS was playing it's cross town rival. Mons wanted to win desperately. It's all he talked about for week. Winning this game.
His team lost.
They played with little or no enthusiasm, and really couldn't get a break. IT was difficult to watch. I'm sure it was even harder for him to play. He never cries, but this night he did. My heart hurt. I know it's a character building moment, and life goes on. .
This is truly a minor battle in his life compared to what's ahead....but it means the world to him right now.

This made me think of other battles. ....

Every "bodies" battle is different.

I have the last 20 pounds that plague me. I know this is a mental battle. Mind over munching.

My friend has the battle of getting on the health highway to begin with. I tell her baby steps. It's hard to think about this all in one giant chunk. The end is too far out there. Just do it 2 to 3 weeks at a time. Think in this time span. Commit to this.

We win some and we lose some. We gain some and hopefully will be losing some soon.

Let the battle continue.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Keva Juice= Brain Freeze

I was busy painting my mother in laws kitchen on Saturday, listening to conference of course and had a huge craving for a Keva Juice. Wayne showed up just in time to indulge me and soon a Tropical Princess was in my hand.
I took a big suck on the straw and ..... and..... Brain freeze.
I knew this was going to happen. I do it all of the time. I can't take little sucks-- that would suck. (Sorry dad for the use of the word suck over and over....he totally loathes this word.)

But....I need a lot in my mouth. I want to taste it. It kind of goes back to how I eat popcorn. No lady like bites for me.
I'll endure anything for a sweet, slushy treat. I just keep guzzling it and hoping my brain freeze will abate. I rub my tongue on the roof of my mouth. I put my warm thumb in my mouth-- I drink hot water....... trying to get my nerve endings to lighten up and go away.
When I'm feeling good again, I take another big swig and OWWW! The brain freeze returns. You would think I would stop this .
I don't.
I have to finish all 24 ozs. as quickly as possible.

This is how I eat everything-- no control, even if I'm in pain.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I love the Fall

I have friends who rave about loving fall-- "sweater weather" they call it.

I'm actually a big summer lover-- no schedules, lots of swim and vacation time. It's probably one of the reasons I wanted to be a teacher-- SUMMER break.

I love fall too-- but not for the obvious reasons.

I love that my time doing yard work is at an end. I love that I can look at my dying,wilting flower pots and not care anymore.
I love that I don't have to dust my house anymore. I just call the dust Halloween decor and go with it. Spider webs too. It's all just ambiance. I'll dust again when I pull the fall decorations down and set up Christmas decor. It's a great break for me.

I love Halloween. I love to dress up and be crazy. I have been known to surprise my children by walking around their schools in a costume and just popping my head in their door and saying hi. Total embarrassment for some of the boys-- they will probably be on Oprah one day and talk about their shame and trauma in growing up Welch.

I look forward to Halloween for the treats as well.
I love the doughnuts my mom, and recently my brother, makes on Halloween. I love them-- especially the next day for breakfast. Greasy and sweet and good.

I love Halloween candy. I always go through my kids candy bags and pull out all of the "good" candy bars.
(Say in a big monster voice) " Mmmmmmm-- I love the candy!"
Stealing candy out of their bags works good when the kids are under 8-- after that, they want the candy bars too.
I probably make my kids go to more houses than they really want to because I want the candy. I Know I could just go buy what I want at the store, but it's not the same. The Halloween candy is like a gift. I can't turn it down-- I have to eat it.

Yep ...I love this time of year.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Off the Wagon

I figure I can do anything for about 20 days. Then it either is no fun, or boring, or I just can't keep my enthusiasm up.

Case in point: Eating Healthy.
I did pretty good most of September with my intention of Healthy eating habits and trying to lose weight. I did it for about 20 days.
Psychologists say it takes 21 days to create a you see how my 20 days is a problem here. If I could just last one more day, I might not be in this pickle. MMMM, sweet pickles on a big soft white roll with egg salad and a chocolate shake-- yum-oh-- but I digress...

20 days is all I'm good for-- then I'm munching on sweets and eating popcorn and buying pie.
I did my "good" 20 days and now I'm on the next 20 of poor eating-- crazy binging and just plain not caring.

Where did my willpower go?

Who took will?

Did someone hide my power?

I guess I could just look at the calendar and see when the next "good" 20 will start, and just plan on this type of rotation. The problem in the past has been I did my good 20 and then my bad 200--- so maybe 20 /20 is a great option for me. I'll treat this as some aha moment I should be happy I finally came to , instead of being sad that I've fallen and I can't get up.

I'll start my good 20 again any day now.....I'm on to myself.
I can do it!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Where to eat?

What's up with the restaurants in Bountiful? I know I'm starting to sound like my snobby foody friends ( You all know who you are...) , but I want to know.

Here are my Bountiful restaurant reviews-- no stars given, just attitude.

Marie Callendars: The service is so slow, only go there if you have 3 hours to kill for lunch. It has carpeting which is a plus for the sound level--you can actually have a conversation and hear each other. Stick to the soup and corn bread only for food but ......Bonus: The pie is great!
There are only 3 kinds of pie I like. Hot Pie, Cold Pie and More Pie. This is just an old Grandpa Welch joke, but I relate to it.

Robintino's: Pizza is not spicy, odd really, and only "old" Bountiful people really like it. The salads are all iceberg-- and what's with the pink thousand island dressing to cover it up?

Dees, Village Inn (VI), IHOP, Denny's: You know, not real restaurants. ....only good after a show around midnight for winding down with friends. Service stinks, food stinks, customers stink. (Man I'm on one.)

Cr-Applebees-- the name says it all.

Rumbi's : I'm sick of the over priced salads-- and bland food. Plus I want to be waited on, not stand in a line and order.

Cafe Rio: Over rated. See Rumbi problem-PLUS- the "disney-esque" turn style wait in line isn't any fun at all.

Wingers: Food marginal-- Dessert good, but the best part is the diet coke and popcorn before the meal comes, and now I'm off diet coke--- and you know how I am with popcorn, I can't go there any more.

Pei Wei: Can you say pee-yew--- except for the edamame

Paradise Cafe: Wait in line. Pricey. NOISEY. Only good if you get to have a cookie or a bakery item too... can't have those, so why eat there?

Plates and Palates: I actually like all of the green salads, but I the way they seat you...wait for whole party, sit at little round tables, that don't really fit 4 let along 6 people. Plus, the name is totally confusing...eating or exercising, I ask you. Don't order the soup!

Royal India: Pricey. Have you seen the tiny bowls of curry that show up at your table for $15.00-- it's truly ridiculous. They say they feed 2 people. I want to see how small Indian people really are. Weird smells.

Joy Luck: Otherwise called-- Joy hope you get lucky. Uneven. Some days good, some days not so good, never really great. Waitresses with attitudes and accents. ....and a fish tank that I can't drag Laila away from.

Mandarin: The Wait isn't worth it. If you go at odd times during the day and night, you can get right in, but who is that odd? And..... Why do some tables get table cloths and some don't? It baffles me.

ALL of the Mexican restaurants in Bountiful--El Matador, Lorena's, Alicia's, Su Casa, La Cocina,I know I can't remember all of their llamos, but, DISGUSTING. I really don't like any of those. Mal, muy mal.

So, Wayne asks me where we should go to dinner.....I say....Salt Lake.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I almost killed myself!

I just about killed myself this morning. I was taking my obligatory 6 vitamins etc...and threw them all in my mouth at one time, as usual, and they all got caught together, stuck, in my throat. No water would dislodge them. They were right below the gag reflex, so even gagging, convulsing, didn't bring them back. My throat was throbbing-- I could actually feel them through my skin. I tried massaging and pushing them down-- no luck.
I'm coughing and spewing and burping and wretching and crying at the kitchen sink.

Meanwhile, Laila is wondering what is wrong with Mother-- I can't really talk about it, because I can't talk.

Anyway it was crazy.. I did quiz Laila later to see if she knew how to call 911....she didn't.

I'm only taking my vitamins so I can stay healthy and strong and right now I'm not feeling very strong.
I take a multi vitamin, a B-50 for energy , an extra Fish oil pill, because who doesn't need fish oil. I take an allergy pill for my sinuses and my beloved DHEA-- so I can stay positive and not be so moody. And let's not forget my Glucosomine and Chondroitin for my knees, so I can continue walking and not be in pain.

I feel like I'm turning into my father. I remember him standing at the sink every morning with a mountain of pills in front of him. He would swallow and sing and swallow and sing. He loved to sing in the morning. He also made hot breakfast for all of us- -- a true morning person.
I'm like him in the pill category and maybe the singing, but not the morning breakfast thing.

So this morning in my quest to survive, I almost didn't.'s a one pill-at-a-time day for me tomorrow and maybe for the rest of my life.