Saturday, July 31, 2010

lower case

only 23 days til the kids start school
only 4 days til I am back at my school
it's the end of july

laila and max are working on a "show"
i've seen parts of makes me smile
addison and landon always had a "show" going on
i miss that

our sprinklers are a mess

i'm waiting for the bernina guy to come and fix my tension on my new/old machine
i just started quilting again
i wish my other tension was as easy to fix

it's hot and muggy outside
i thought utah was supposed to be dry

i love blue iguana's beef stek with bacon and almond mole, rice and beans
just typing it makes me salivate

i'm only using lower case letters and no punctuation
i don't know why

Monday, July 26, 2010

3 stories...

Laila is always getting me...... I am trying to teach her that it doesn't matter what other people think, it just matters what we think.
For example.
She is selling lemonade to make money for a digital camera, or a pink convertible when she's 16 or Primary Children's hospital.
We have a plastic pitcher that works fine, but we have lost the lid. She has to have a lid so "bugs don't fly in while she is waiting" to sell her drink. Addison offered a number of solutions to her...a plastic plate that sits on top, foil, plastic bag to cover...all of these were met with a look of disdain and an exasperated, "What will people think?" or "People will think that looks stupid and not buy anything."
We could not convince her otherwise.
Our voices weren't strong enough to cover the "people" voices in her head.
She does this a lot....her shoelaces have to be just so, her clothes just right, her hair done....she doesn't want to risk...."What will people think..."
Fast forward....
We are in our swimming suits and cover ups and heading down to Belnaps, a few doors down, to swim. Instead of walking, we get in Master Pri ( our car) and drive down. Laila can't figure out why.
I tell her she "can walk but I'm not going to because I don't want to walk in front of the road workers...and neighbors in my swimming suit. "
She offers up, "Mom it doesn't matter what people think...and you need the exercise."
OH it matters.....
I did the Challenge course zip line while at Heber Valley Girls camp. It was great. I spent 2 hours cheering girls on, squealing with delight and helping girls off of the zipline harness.
Then it was my turn.
It looked like total fun.
I was full of confidence as I harnessed up and got my protective head gear on. As I looked up at the telephone pole, I was going to climb, I thought..."no problem." I climbed hand over hand on pegs...had to change my footing once...and continued up. I knew if I trusted the equipment, even if I fell, I wouldn't fall.
But then, I stepped out to the high wire that I needed to cross and it was wobbly and wanky. I held on to the flimsy rope for dear stomach plummeted and thoughts of impending doom filled my head. "The equipment, trust the equipment! " I side stepped the 50 foot wire, going from rope to rope sweating like a crazy woman.
I was about 5 feet away from the zipline telephone pole. The worker had her hand outstretched to grab me. I couldn't let go of the rope to grab her hand. I was paralyzed. My body was shaking uncontrollably. I finally had to announce outloud, "My body is shaking like a leaf," for it to stop shaking.
It was a total out of comfort zone experience. When I finally mustered enough control to let go of the flimsy rope and grab the sturdy hand, I made it to the second telephone pole platform.
My heart was pounding.
The zipline was my reward.
I was caribeenered up, and dove off of the platform to fly across the line, squealing with delight!

This is so much like life.....easy, hard, difficult, rewarding.
I am glad I did it.
I would do it again.
I don't know what happened on that high wire.....but there's got to be a sacrament meeting talk in here somewhere.
The crazy lady came for a visit on Friday.
She hasn't been around for a long time.
I am here after referring to this as dark Friday....July 23rd....dun, dun, dun....organ chord.

Why did crazy come back?
I am on DHEA. I have tried anxiety meds to get my PMS under control. They numbed me , but I couldn't feel sad or happy, just neutral-- so I went off of these, and found DHEA instead. It seriously helps me. I didn't remember how much til last friday. The problem is I took my DHEA sporadically while on the family vacay, then forgot it all together while at girls camp. This wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't happen to line up with the 2 days before my period.
PMS is not my friend....never has been. I have many sad moments of bad mothering, bad wife-ing and bad friending all wrapped around my PMS days.
So........... by dark Friday I was tightly wound and ready to snap.
Everything and everyone bugged me !!!!
the parade
gaps in the parade
kids running out to get candy at the parade
the heat
having to think about dinner
the waiter
slow restaurant food
comments about diet coke
BUGGED!!! I hope to not repeat these negative feelings and thoughts again. It's almost an out of body experience. I know I need to stop talking and keep my thoughts to myself...but I can't.
I breathe...and cry.....and scream in my head some more.
Some one slap me please!
I apologize to my hubby for taking the brunt of this and thank him for sticking around.

I am glad to announce that crazy lady has left the building.

I may share some crazy lady experiences at a later date...they are pretty comical in hind sight...the one about the pink go fish cards, the one about being escorted out of the social security building, oh, and then there's the one about me threatening an armed police man, telling off a group of teenagers, biting my cheeks til they almost bled so I wouldn't scream at the top of my lungs at mpjh parent teacher conference that "this school sucks" ...oh the list goes on and on....

Sunday, July 25, 2010

It's not what we have in our life, but who we have in our life that counts.

I wish you all the joy that you can wish!

Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting

Thursday, July 22, 2010

1. I am thankful that my pioneer trek, stake beehive camp and ward girls camp assignments are finished for the summer. I love being at all of these.....yet find it "draining" at the same time. I am the keeper of the schedule, (because of my bossy red personality), and the game player, the laugher/teaser (because I'm yellow) and the stay up late and talk can be exhausting. The one good thing I do while at camp, is NOT shower. My hair doesn't get greasy-- so that helps, but I tell people, "It's over rated, takes up time and is awkward." Then when I get in my shower at home, it's a true reward. I know many girls and leaders would think otherwise...but non showering is the way to go for me. It's called roughing it!

2. I am thankful for hikes in the mountain. The view was beautiful looking over Heber Valley and out towards the back of Timp. I was filled with love for my Heavenly Father for creating such a heavenly place for us to live in.

3. I am thankful for all types of people. I really do love and appreciate all of them. The nurturer, the foodie, the calmer, the hesitant one, the laugher, the delver, the powerful one, the empathizer, the thinker, the hugger, the player.....all types make up a camp and our world.

4. I am thankful for my new/old Bernina 830 sewing machine. Wayne got it for me for my birthday and I am so excited just thinking up the projects I am going to sew on it.....when I stop going to so many camps...hee hee hee

5. I am thankful for remembering yet another embarrassing moment. I really don't remember these easily until something triggers the file system in my brain and the embarrassing moment is brought forward once more. We had a "BEAR" sighting while on our girl's camp hike. DING...(this is my memory file opening)....So..........I remember being at a Young men/ Young women fireside in our ward chapel. We had a guy come in to tell his exciting story about being attacked by a bear in Yellowstone and living to tell about it. He brought his mangled glasses and torn shirt to show us all. It was a great meeting...well, what I can remember. I was on the front bench of the chapel....trying to be a good example and all, when I got drowsier and drowsier. My ankles were crossed under the bench and my arms were folded across my chest. I went though a series of snaps and nods when finally I fell forward onto the floor of the chapel ....splat.....and then I woke up. The speaker was amazed....and so was I. A shining, embarrassed example! IT's a good thing I have the ability to forget. Maybe that's what I am truly thankful forgetfulness.

6. I am thankful for Pioneer Day. Parades, swimming, bbq's, Bees baseball game and fireworks...throw in good friends and family at these events...and I love it!

7. I am thankful.

Friday, July 16, 2010

30th Anniversary of first kiss

This morning at 12:01, Wayne nudged me awake, kissed me and said...."Happy Birthday."
This is reminiscent of what happened 3 decades ago.
We are at Bear Lake, staying in the exact same condo that my First Kiss happened in 30 years ago on my 18th birthday.
We thought about staging a re-enactment with Addison playing Wayne, Addison's girlfriend playing me and Landon could be Marcie. Addison would be on the couch--feigning sleep, but really just watching the clock. Tick tock, tick tock..... Landon and Bre would be on pull down bed, just a few feet away from the couch. Landon would be totally out of it, just like Marcie was. She didn't care that I was turning 18. This moment wasn't a big deal to her....she just slept right through it. Bre...would be wide awake as well, wondering what being 18 would feel like. When the kiss would happen? Wondering if it was worth the 2 years of only holding hands and goodnight hugs?

We laughed about this re-enactment thought, but never followed through.

Addison wanted to do it, just so he could kiss Bre.
All of the neices and nephews thought this was a great idea......But we were all too tired to stay up til 12:01....I was yawning and needed sleep....and Bre and Landon had to leave us to go back down the mountain to work. So no show.'s fun to think about that night and all of the other memories associated with this "birthday at bear lake" of mine.
Today I am biking, getting a raspberry shake, making caramel popcorn, reading a book on the beach, sitting in the sun, enjoying my family and counting my blessings.
It's good to be half way to 96!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Count my Many blessings Monday

I am off of my Thankful Thursday track...but grateful, just the same.
So on this Monday, I am counting my MANY blessings.......

B: Bear Lake...we are off to the lake today. We have been going there since I was 10, and I still love it. I am looking forward to Boating and sitting on the Beach- reading Books...also Biking on our tandem. I love having my Birthday at the lake as well.
L:Laila and Landon. My two "L" children. They are Loving and Lookers and Lucky and Lovely. They keep me smiling and shaking my head -- I love my other children too, but their names don't begin with "L".
E: Embarrassing moments. I have many....but as I look back on them and re-tell them, I realize it's these out-of-the-ordinary moments that help me feel most alive. I remember awhile ago having a car full of hungry children. We pulled into McDonald's and ordered food. I paid for it at the first window. THen....I pulled up to the next window to get my food. The worker leaned out of the window and mouthed something to me. I don't know what I was thinking, but I actually turned to the kids in the back of the car and said, "Hey, that is so great. THey have hired a deaf person to work at McDonalds." Then I went to lean out of the window and get my food ...when....SMACK.... I did a full face plant on a rolled up window. Somewhere between ordering my food and picking up my food, I rolled up the window and didn't recall it. So I hit my face hard. The guy with the food was just startled and shocked.
I rolled down my window, laughing, and tried to explain to him that I thought he was deaf, because I couldn't hear him speak...which would actually make me deaf. My kids were mortified. THey just kept saying, "Mom, take the food. Just take the food!" I kept laughing hysterically, and my nose hurt a lot. The worker just smiled politely and really wanted me to take my food and LEAVE. Another crazy customer. Embarrassing moments.....good times!
S: Sunshine
S: Swimming
I: Ice Cream--looking forward to raspberry shakes, that's for sure.
N: Nuts-- especially almonds and sugared pecans
G: Girls--all ages and relation. I am grateful for little girls, neices, beehives, big girls, girl friends, sisters, aunts, get the idea.
S: Summer

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Happy Birthday Landon

I have a 22 year old son.
I can't believe how old he is old I am getting.
It seems like only yesterday I was counting down the days, swimming in Grandma Butters pool, waiting for this summer baby to arrive.
This is what I wrote in my journal....22 years ago ....about this day.
Landon was born on Beautiful July 7th. It was a planned delivery. We got a good nights sleep and checked into the hospital at 8:00 am. 5 1/2 hours later--very painless hours later--and 3 pushes, a thick, black head of hair came through. Wanee says this baby looks just like Wayne's baby picture, except for the forceps marks on the cheek. Landon and his dad are pretty close to the same weight. Landon looks more different than I ever thought, So much hair and a perfect round head, Only a very little swelling through the nose. At 24 hours old, I have yet to hear him cry--except for the first minute of his life. I hope this peacefulness continues. What a beautiful, dark haired baby doll.
I love you, Landon......:)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th

Independence Day!

On my Chalk board door I had the family write why or what they loved about America.
We got an assortment of responses........
Wayne: Freedom of Religion (otherwise the Restoration of the Gospel couldn't happen)
Me: All can work and progress here...Freedom of Speech
Laila: I love America
Monson: You can see the sky, No air pollution, Free Love
Landon: It's a land where we can be who we are, how we are :)
Addison: To live in a country where you can carve big, giant faces on the side of an old ugly mountain, makes me, Addison, proud to be American
Bre: One time I spent this dollar and George Washington's face was so handsome and I knew we made really good looking men here. That made me proud to be 'Merican.

....see what I mean?

But I am feeling so blessed to live in America.
I really do love it and pray for it's continued welfare.

Wayne and I went for our first motorcycle ride of the summer. We went up to Solitude ski resort --the mountains were so green and beautiful. The ride was great with Wayne playing classical piano music on his cassette player, in the Goldwing. It was great to be with the Wangsgaards too.

I love America....and motorcyle rides!
We get 4 parties this weekend.
2nd of July....Rigby/Eden Shindig with Country music and dancing
3rd of July....Welch BBQ at Terry and Cyrrena's, with family pictures, and then Gutter works at our house
4th of July.....Cole picnic on Dad's deck
5th of July....Swimming party at the Morley's

I love America.......motorcycle rides ......and family parties!
5 Reasons why America Rocks!
1. Ice in drinks....the rest of the world just doesn't get it.
2. Disney World and Disney Land was BORN here.
3. Fry Sauce
4. Broadway...Musical THEATRE......
5. Football...and I'm not talking Futbol!

And now my Grand Old Flag Tribute to America!!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Lessons from Beehive Camp

1. Beehives will go to sleep at a reasonable hour, and not talk about boys much.
2. Don't put on the schedule that we need to be up at 6am to fix breakfast, if we don't need to be there til 7:45. This makes for irritated beehives--and a grumpy leader!
3. Crafts are fun-- Service crafts are better.
4. A Mormon Boy "rap"( thanks Megan C.) mesmerizes the masses!
5. The Cash's know how to do camp food.....mmmmmm, mmmmm, good!
6. Showers and flush toilets are a luxury!
7.Black Magic, Are You In Cahoots?, Sniff the Broom handle, Bubble not Pop and Chinese Writing amaze and irritate every age.
8. Having a testimony meeting on the first night instead of the last night of camp, actually makes it a testimony meeting and not an "I love camp" meeting.
9. Don't sit up quickly in the middle of the night in a low bunk bed. Hitting a 2x4 with one's forehead HURTS!.....a lot!
10. Don't accept bug spray when you should be holding on to the iron matter how friendly the leader is.
11. Being a Beehive leader is SO DANG FUN.......and tiring!
12. The Book of Mormon is True!
12 and 13 year old girls are WONDERFUL!

Mormon Boy Rap words:
I like Mormon boys and I cannot lie
You other sistah's can't deny
When a boy walks in with a scripture case
and a smile on his face
you get a date
an eternal mate
but wait
He's goin' on a mission
leavin' you wishin' that
you had a MAN
to hold your hand.
Deacons, What?
Teachers, What?
We don't like your features,
cuz your brothers are hot
and you are not
So bring on the Mormon Priest
(I changed the end to, "cuz your fathers are hot and you are not so give me an Old High Priest!")