So many shows

We had our YSA ward talent show and it was a blast!  Wayne entertained, stunned and amused with his three- legged Craig the Peg routine and I sung my face off with "Don't rain on my Parade."   We had other singing,  painting, poetry, dancing and silly lip sync acts as well. Most importantly we had a lot of audience support.  It's great to see how much love there is for each other in this ward.

 Holly had her special mutual production with the theme PUre Imagination.  I love this production each year.  It's at a different level because it's totally amateurish and filled with goodness.  The audience cheers and yells out names when an actor on stage says or mumbles anything, sings and tries to dance.  It's all about support and it's beautiful.  There were many tears when this sweet whee-chaired girl sang the song from Mulan, "When will my reflection show who I am inside," under the You're Good Enough banner.  It was a good reminder for all of us to look upon the heart and not the outward appearance.

 Holly is always into the show and practices in her bedroom every day all of the lyrics and dance moves.  She especially loved pounding on the bucket drums.   We also had one of our YSA ward members, Jacob Merrill in the show as Mr. Rogers. 

Bre opened her MATILDA show at Hale Center Theatre.  She is Miss Honey and it's a perfect role for her.   The production value is excellent -- there is a balloon, light and industrial pole set theme carried  throughout. Bre’s little niece Lucy plays Matilda and she is really great in it especially considering this is her first big, main role show. Matilda is such a sarcastic, over the top commentary on how we treat children, rules and  punishment ( the chokie) and how love and kindness will win out in the end. It’s told in a Raol Dahl twisted kind of way. As a result, I chuckle at it, but Alfie was not liking it.  When the parents are yelling at Matilda- (his cousin) or when Trunchbull is yelling at Miss Honey -(his mom)-- it was scary. By intermission he was ready to go--but after Addison talked to him and reminded him that the good guys win, he stuck it out and was happy again by the end of the show.

Thought work

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” - Robert Frost

I have almost everything I ever wanted.

A great family.

Close friends.


A beautiful home.

Strong Testimony of the Gospel.

Good Health.

A job I like.

Fun vacations.

Yet despite having these things, sometimes I don't feel amazing.

Sometimes I wonder why I don't feel better.

My life seems great, but something is off.

MY THOUGHTS.

The lower brain is always running the program- "Something's wrong in my life" or "Something's wrong with me."  It offers these thoughts up like it's helping me. But it's not.  Thought work gives me the awareness I need to keep me curious and fascinated and interested when negative thoughts come my way.  I can say to my lower brain-- "There is nothing wrong with my life, there is nothing wrong with me.  I hear you.  Your opinion is noted.  Thank you for doing your job and keeping me alive, but I am just fine. Get in the backseat lower brain, I'm the driver!" 

Thought work is amazing.  Knowing how my brain works is so helpful.

Just being is enough

This lesson is taught by someone that has taught millions of children all over the world for many years.

“It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and their coats and together they trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house.

Inside the house was Eeyore.

"Hello, Eeyore," said Pooh.

"Hello, Pooh. Hello, Piglet," said Eeyore, in a glum sounding voice.

"We just thought we'd check in on you," said Piglet, "we hadn't heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay."

Eeyore was silent for a moment.

"Am I okay?" Eeyore asked, eventually. "Well, I don't know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That's what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather sad, and alone, and not much fun to be around at all--which is why I haven't bothered you. I figured you wouldn't want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is sad, and alone, and not much fun to be around at all."

Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.

Eeyore looked at them in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"We're sitting here with you," said Pooh, "because we are your friends. And true friends don't care if someone is feeling sad, or alone, or not much fun to be around at all. True friends are there for you in all situations and under all circumstances. And so here we are."

"Oh," said Eeyore. "Oh."
And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny bit better.

Eeyore felt better because Pooh and Piglet were there.
No more; no less.”

Genuinely ME

This is my dad.   We were going through pics to find some of my Mom and her theatre career for a big award we are receiving on her behalf at Center Point Theatre's Gala June 1st.  Well in all of the searching, we found this.  It stopped me in my tracks.

This is dad being the Most LYLE he can possibly be in 1987. He's my age.   He always said he wasn't very Fun.  But I disagree.  It didn't come natural for him, and he had to make himself have a flexible schedule while on vacation but he was always one to drive the boat, put on the water skis, play the ball game, do his "silver bullet" dive into Grandma's swimming pool, pull funny faces and sing the silliest of songs. LOVE HIM.   Dad was just genuinely himself.  He didn't have to put anything on for any one. 

GOAL:  Be the me-est me I can be.  I want to be the most Melinda I can be.  The most Melinda-y.  It's a choice. 

Easter

Happy Easter.  I love when Easter is later in April and not the end of March.  SO many blossoms on trees, and tulips and daffodils, and gorgeous weather.  It feels full of new birth and promise.  I was grateful to go to church and hear about Christ and his crucifixion and resurrection.  I have a strong testimony of my Savior and his goodness.  I know He is my God of second and third and three-hundredth chances.   I know because He is Risen,  we too can rise again with all of our loved ones.  What a glorious time this will be.  

 Our Easter Weekend was GREAT-- we did the traditional Welch Family in the Park Picnic.  Sandy got us all together at Pond's park in Kaysville and so many showed up.  Wayne and I were thrilled that Alex brought Sophia and Andrew for us to play with.

We did the Candy Egg hunt-- and found 15 eggs each. Two were filled with dollar bills thanks to Papa Wayne sneaking it in there once they found the eggs.  He's a hoot.

 Moving on to the hill for Egg CHUCKING.   We had to work around the soccer field, but we did it anyway.  Andrew and Sophia colored eggs with me on Wednesday and I took them there for the destroying.   I remember the few times when my kids were little when we actually very slowly and civilized rolled eggs down a hill til they cracked then peeled and ate the hard boiled eggs. BUT....

 ...that took too long, and the boys didn't want to eat hard boiled eggs  any way, so we just started throwing and chucking eggs off the hill side to watch them explode!  It's a gift to the birds.   If the eggs don't explode, then Andrew and Sophia run down the hill and bring them back up to the top over and over again.  It's exhausting work-- but fun.

 We have loved our Buzelli time this week.  It's been their spring break, so we have actually been around Sophia and Andrew three times in one week.  Wednesday with egg coloring- cookie making- and park time. Saturday was filled with candy egg hunting and chucking and then they all came to Sunday Easter Dinner.  Perfect.

Emotional Eating

Hello, I'm Melinda and I am an emotional eater.

I was looking back from what I wrote on my blog over ten years ago and it's all about my weight journey and  my emotions surrounding it.  In fact, when I started blogging in 2008, my blog was called "Sick of Chub" because I was and I still am.

I can will power my self through "healthy eating" for a couple of weeks or months, but then I'm tired of white knuckling it and that chocolate chip cookie is calling me and my day is ________ so I eat.

I am grieving my people's deaths...so I eat.

I get antsy...so I eat.

I have a transition from computer work to Laila coming home...so I eat.
Or
transition from school work to life coach school work... so I eat.

I am studying something new....so I eat.

I'm watching grandkids and they are eating.... so I eat.

I'm gearing up for housework or yard work...so I eat.

I'm trying something I don't know how to do...so  eat.

I'm celebrating...so I eat.

I'm sad....so I eat.

I'm bored...so I eat.

Ten years ago I was devastated that I was at 162 pounds and wrote a whole treatise about it.  https://melindawelch62.blogspot.com/2008/09/162-lbswhen-did-i-get-to-be-162-pounds.html

Ten years later, after roller coaster weight loss of as low as 140 pounds and weight gain as high as 183 pounds I'm still at 162. 

Here's what I know.  It's not about me taking pills, eating bars, or using my will power.  It's not about me being on a diet plan or drinking smoothies, or eating keto-style. 

It's about me being an  emotional eater.

This is good news.  Knowledge is power.  I'm in charge of all of this.

I have power over my emotions because my thoughts create my emotions.

I can choose to think what ever I want.  I am the thinker of my thoughts.  My thoughts are just sentences in my head.  I can choose the ones that serve me BEST!

Emotional eating-- you are going down!

I Am

I am…… by Melinda
I am from a mother’s ringing bell; from a father’s “kerloo” and a long
telephone cord.
I am from the hidden, yellow house; from the 25th anniversary deck with
sprinklers hanging in the oak trees.
I am from the morning glory and the roses.
I am from a dancing mom and a dad who knows everyone.
I am from pie parties and Sunday circle time; from Lyle and Sheri, Grant and Eulala.
From hair cuts from Grandpa, Annie-I-over, and swimming all summer.
I am from the The Color Code and 5 Love Languages.
From people are more important than things and love one another.
From Liz not winning in baseball, so we all piled out of the car and played another game.
From Angela marching and wheezing around the condo’s at Bear lake.
From Marcie crying on the stair well while Mom pumped her back up.
From Adam getting his chin stitched up again.  
I am from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I am from Bountiful, Utah, the UK and Germany, roast beef and mashed potatoes,
home made donuts and hot scones.
From the flexible schedule, the damn I’m good license plate
and hands pulled in for “forever.”

Don't have to want to, just do it anyway.

No one wants to change a poopie diaper.
Many people don't want to go to work, go to school, go to church, do homework or put the kids to bed.

Here's what I know.  It's okay not to want to.  Just do it anyway.

I don't want to eat no sugar/no flour, make dinner, clean the bathroom, do my school phone calls, work on my business, but I do it anyway.

Our lower brain thinks it's helping us when it offers up "Oh, you don't want to do this.  This is too hard.  This will take time and brain power.  Just stay in your comfort zone.  Just eat and watch TV- you are good at that."
BUT.....
Staying in my comfort zone means zero growth.

We can get awareness over our lower brain and stop the self-sabotaging.

A great thought is, "I do the things that are fun and easy and I do the things I don't really want to because that's the person I want to be to grow into my best self."

I'm starting a new business.  A new me at age 57.  It's scary and fun to think about, and uncomfortable and joyous all at the same time.  For me to turn my life coaching training into a viable business I need to get uncomfortable.  I need to do things I don't want to do. I need to tell people I'm a life coach and make offers and if they accept or reject, make it mean nothing about me.  I just do it anyway.

So when my brain offers, "I don't want to," my response is, "I'm so glad you (brain) are so good at doing things I don't want to do.  I don't have to want to.  I'm just doing it anyway.  My future self will thank me. "

If you are willing to do only what’s easy, life will be hard. But if you’re willing to do what’s hard, life will be easy -

T.Harv Eker

Love unconditionally

I love you and there's nothing you can do about it.

Many think we should love people unconditionally because that's the nice thing to do, the Christ like thing to do.  It's what good people do.  There's nothing wrong with this motivation, but it's skewed.  We view it as something we are doing for that person because we are supposed to help them feel a certain way but they will only feel love if their thoughts are in that direction.

 If I say, I know I should love my child, even if she's talking back to me.  I am trying to feel proud of myself for doing what I think good people should do....and that never feels right.  Here's what I do know...... My child talking back to me, is all about her and what's going on in her head.  It says nothing about me.  It's a neutral circumstance and I can make it mean whatever I want.  I can love her exactly as she is when she is talking back, and feel all of the love for her in her messiness.  I get to feel all of that love, not her----she will only feel love for herself and  for me if she wants to choose loving thoughts.    Loving her is not just something that good people should do, it's something that "in the know" people can do.

Love is an emotion.  It's a vibration you feel in your body and it feels truly amazing. We can't make anyone feel this.
Others only feel love if they are thinking thoughts that produce love for them.
Now when we are feeling love, we show up in a certain way around people- we may  serve, listen to, attend and care for more.  When someone says they love us, we tend to like how they show up around us.

So when you say there's a person in my life who is really difficult and I'm not sure if I want to love them and your brain is offering I don't want to be warm and loving, I want to be mad about this person.  Then you get to feel all the mad the difficult person does not.

Letting go how other people should be and just feeling unconditional love for people in all of their human-ness is truly a  gift we give ourselves.

Unconditional love in and of itself is amazing.

Love does not go in the action line.  Love is not something we do, love is something we feel. We feel love so we act a certain way.  We may show up as our best.  Or it might look like....I love you and I can't be around you.  ( when daughter is screaming)  Or I love you and you need to go to your room.
Or maybe......you just be you.  You just be there and I'm going to love you.

I knew. I knew.

I knew.  I knew.
Personal revelation told me it wasn't right.  But what to do about a church policy that I had no control over?

I did what I always do when I have a question that has no answer.  I put it in my proverbial "box" and place it at the Savior's feet and tell him I trust him and I love him and I know he loves me and my children and wants what's best for all of us.  And I wait.  And 3 1/2 years later the policy is removed.

The recent announcement from my church about removing the LGBTQ children
blessing, baptism, apostate policy from 2015 has got me in all sorts of feelings.

I am grateful to have just finished reading the book on Pres. Nelson  by Sheri Dew.  It was full of insights and stories from Pres. Nelson's life.  I got done reading it and was filled with sustaining love for my leader just when the official announcement came down. I was thrilled and sad and relieved all at the same time. 
I was thrilled.  Tears flowed and Wayne and I rejoiced.
I was sad. It was this policy that was the "last straw" for my Truman and many others about staying in our church.  It was a slap to all people struggling with their sexuality and how it fits into church doctrine. Labeling people apostate because they are gay and get married?  Really?  It's been difficult.
AND.....
I was relieved. I thought  "Yay me. I did it. I stayed."
I continue to focus on reasons to stay in this church.  I  know others find reasons to get out.  No judgment.  What ever works for them.  I know the Lord knows people's hearts and desires and intentions and struggles and questions and he understands all of this.  He is full of justice, yes...but more importantly Love and MERCY.

I like that God uses imperfect people to do his work on this earth. I like that about me and Wayne as we serve in a YSA ward and  about Joseph Smith and Russel M. Nelson.  I cut imperfect humans ( all of us) a bunch of slack.  We are all learning, making mistakes and learning some more.
I get that the Leadership of our church didn't need to publicly announce the policy change or even deal with it and they could just as easily kicked this problem down the road. I am pleased that it was reversed.  The struggle is calling it  God's revelation in the first place and not personal revelation/reaction of the Quorum of the twelve over the legalizing of gay marriage in America.
I get how revelation feels to me.  Sometimes I wonder if it's my thoughts or the Lord's thoughts and I know it's colored by my own life experiences. I'm sure this is true for everyone.
It's also an "I don't know what I don't know" kind of thing.  I don't know what family issues were being brought to the Brethren's attention from stake presidents and bishops before the policy nor do I know what family situations  have been brought up since.  I do know this directly affected my family.
Andrew was baptized and then confirmed by Papa Wayne at age 8, much to his mom's urging and Alex's relenting.  Not an all around beautiful thing but one we supported.  Andrew was given this choice because he still had a choice to make.  At age 12 Andrew was being asked and wondered about over and over again by the mom's bishop about him becoming a deacon.  Really there was no choice unless it was kicked up  to church headquarters.  When Sophia turned 8 there was no choice of baptism for her. It's been difficult to be a third party watching this.  Watching Landon and Alex grow more sour on my religion.   

With the change of policy Sophia and Andrew both have their choice back.  As it should be.  I know Andrew and Sophia are in a difficult position with  a mom who takes them to LDS church some Sundays and they hear from her and others about how wrong it is to be gay- then they mostly live with their gay custodial parents- Landon and Alex and they witness for them selves how  normal, ordinary and great these two guys are and how much love they have for them and for each other. It's confusing with or with out the church policy muddling the waters.

With the change of policy married LGBTQ are no longer considered apostates.
Apostate is a strong term and is the one that tore at my heart.  My kids weren't denouncing Christ and giving up their christianity when they married nor were they leading others astray.   I have been to Landon and Alex's home.  They revere and teach their children about the goodness of Christ and how he included the marginalized always.  They pray and hope in Christ.

This policy and other church issues I have are all secondary questions and concerns.  They don't trump my testimony of my Savior Jesus Christ and His Atonement.  I believe in the restored gospel and that the kingdom of God is on earth today. I believe in continuing revelation and personal revelation.  I believe that God lives and loves me and hears and answers my prayers.  I believe that the Book of Mormon is true scripture, and Joseph Smith was the prophet of the restoration. I believe families are forever and whatever that looks like I leave in the Lord's hands.

So I stay.

Cruise for Spring Break

Well we just got back from our week long cruise on the Mexican Riviera and it was a blast.  Wayne, Laila, her friend Addy and I really had a fun, relaxing too much food time It started with Wayne and I on the first night being chosen as a wild and crazy couple to do on stage and compete to be the VIP for the rest of the cruise.  I didn’t have to do much just cheer Wayne on and Wayne had to shake balls out of a box hooked on his back ( the funny part is he had just practiced this the Monday before at FHE family night with minute to win it games-- he succeeded then and now)  He won - also because he’s very competitive. Laila was so PROUD-- we won a coveted plastic ship on a stick trophy, champagne ( which we gave away) reserved seats to all of the nightly shows, chocolate covered strawberries, wine ( which we traded from virgin pina coladas) priority tendering off the ship, 27 bingo cards to play,  a private backstage tour with a cast member, and bragging rights. It also came with Wayne having to shake his balls the rest of the cruise whenever anyone went by him and said it. He was a very good sport.

We loved the ship.  It had delicious food! A great breakfast buffet , An Indian Tandoor kitchen with fresh nan, a deli, a Mongolian wok, a burrito bar, a hamburger grill, a hand tossed 24 hour pizza place, and  incredible desserts. This doesn’t take into account the nightly dining room experience. The fresh bread each night was delicious plus all of the chocolate melting cake and ice cream. Kind waiters who really took time to explain things like Indian food to the girls, remembered our names and made us feel special.  We loved the dancing and singing waiter show nightly too.

We loved the soft ice cream on demand of course  - breakfast, lunch and dinner and snacks in between.  (Wayne gained 9 pounds this past week and I gained 4) We definitely got our money’s worth.

We love the heat-- we had beautiful weather the entire time.  

We loved going to Cabo San Lucas.  We got a water tour and saw tropical fish and beautiful sandy beaches, an amazing arch and the bay was turquoise blue.  The girls got braids in their hair, played in the ocean and we ate fish tacos.

We loved  Puerto Vallarta. We shopped and Wayne got a stone carved chess set of Aztecs vs. conquistadors.  It’s heavy and cool and he trudged it all over Puerto the rest of the day. The girls got a fish pedicure-- the funny part is Addy got a pedicure before t=she came , so the little fish didn’t have much to munch on, but Laila’s feet were full of dead skin-- the fish were in HEAVEN!  Laila was a little squeamish. 10 fish were on Addy’s feet and about 110 were on Laila’s.

While in Puerto the second day,  we did an extreme canopy excursion and it was EXTREME.  

We rode a speed boat across the ocean to a quaint village called Api, then we got on a jeep and the ride was like the Indiana Jones rocking and jolting ride at Disneyland.  We laughed a lot. Then we got on mules and rode them the rest of the way up the mountain. We did 7 zip lines, rappelled down 2 waterfalls, got absolutely drenched 4 times.  Did 2 waterslides-- one was the highest in all of Mexico-- 2nd highest in Latin America. They give you elbow pads and a helmet with a face cage to go down it safely. I almost chickened out because of the steep drop but I’m glad I did it- even though I hit my face and boob on the side of the slide-( hence a boob sprain)

We LOVED it-- and talked about this the rest of the time.   We have no pics, because we couldn't take our phones and they wanted a hundred bucks for the pics the tour took. No bueno.

We loved our balcony cruise ship room.  It’s really the way to go since you spend so much time on the ship and this way you can find a bit of peace and quiet while enjoying the sun and ocean.   

I like cruises because of the night life-- singing/dancing shows, karaoke, a piano bar, a great band, singing at the top of our lungs, an involved cruise director, line dancing...it all adds up to fun for me.  We do about 1 every 5 years. This is our 7th one.

The girls were great driving down and back and it was an enjoyable 8 days for all of us.  We are grateful for Addy Fox for putting up with us. She was an easy friend to travel with and she only got homesick a little.  

It was great to be off the grid-- off my phone for a week-- I loved being disconnected. I read three books!
OUR FAVORITES OF EACH DAY:
Saturday March 30- Sea day
Wayne
1-VIP on the ship by shaking balls out of a box 
2-parking where told you you couldn’t park
3-chocolate melting cake
Melinda
1- watching a Wayne win the shake your balls out game then having everyone walk by him and ask him to “shake his balls” for the rest of the night  
2.Live music to dance and sing to.  
3.Balcony room

Laila

Wearing the sea bands - I was a bit sea sick

Laying out by the pool

Watching dad shake his butt

Addy

Dinner in the dining room

Watching Laila try to catch a seagull

Sitting on top of cruise ship at night. Listening to music. 

Sunday March 31- Sea day

Wayne

Lobster for dinner

Being the VIP- more wine and chocolate covered strawberries. Pina coladas

Nap

Melinda

Reading/ finishing Pres Nelson book in the sunshine

Piano bar with sarcastic piano guy 

Dressing up

Laila

Playing basketball - free throw tournament 

Meeting up with Andrew

Pina coladas at dinner 

Addy

1.laying out even though I got burned 

2.waiters dancing on the tables 

3.waiter Hmung with the dimples 

Monday April 1- Cabo San Lucas

Wayne

Comedian 

Piano show

Sea lion jumping into boat. 

Melinda

1.line dancing at the deck party.  

2.Singing at the piano show.  

3.Delicious dinner of tostado and Mexican style tilapia

Laila

Sea lion in the boat 

Hearing from John the waiter how the Indian food was made 

The beach 

Stretch leg in the balcony

 

Addy

1.Cabo beach. 

2.All the fish on the glass bottom boat tour. 

3. When Wayne ate the Spicy Indian food

Tuesday . April 2- Puerto Vallarta 

Laila

Meeting Rodrigo at the market. Mom bought an egg

Driving on cobblestone roads. 

Fish foot spa. Fish attacked 

Watching dad’s soda explode in Walmart 

Addy

Asking Andrew for tampons 

Beaded Spirit animals 

Buying stuff for family 

Wayne

Walmart shopping

Stone chess set with Aztecs and conquistadors 

All the bathroom stops 

Melinda

Beautiful Puerto Vallarta 

Walking the marketplace

Delicious ship food- really good in the dining room. 

Watching Laila and Wayne talk to everyone and be so interested

April 3 Wednesday - Puerto Vallarta 

Melinda

Extreme canopy excursion. Speed boat, crazy hero ride, mule ride, Zip lines, Rappelling ,Zip coaster, Mexican food!

Afternoon nap

Seeing pure joy in Lailas face. Brought tears to me eyes 

Wayne

1.zip coaster

2.on demand ice cream. 

3.won a ship on a stick the first day so didn’t have to worry the rest of the cruise

Laila

1.zip coaster

2.eating ice cream after excursion 

3.zip lining 

Addy

1.zip coaster 

2.talking to Robert - tour guide 

3.mule ride. Had the fast one 

Thursday April 4- Sea day

Melinda 

Karaoke- singing Don’t rain on my Parade for Laila and Addy

Afternoon nap

The epic rock show- 80’s dance 

Wayne

Rock show.  

listening to Melinda at Karaoke

seeing a Whale off the back of the ship

Laila

1.mom singing karaoke 

2.staying up til one with Addy, Andrew, Isaac and Anna 

3.winning Scattegories 

Addy

1.key lime mouse for dinner,  

2. Epic Rock

3.80’s deck dance 

Friday April 5

Melinda

1.Turkey avocado sandwich on pretzel bun and fries. 

2.meeting Singer/ dancer Sophie from London who gave us the backstage tour.  

3. Big sing along balloon drop

Wayne

1.VIP backstage tour for only us!

2.  Final soft serve cone

Laila

1.word metamorphosis with Andrew.  

2.  VIP back stage tour.

3. Getting courage to ask Ben the singer/ dancer how old he was 

Addy

1.back stage tour 

2.all the waiters singing  goodbye to us

3.lip sync battle