What are you doing right now?

 Wayne and I are climbing a mountain in St. George....actually Bloomington.  It's called the Aspiration trail and it's well marked and beautiful .  There are hand painted quote rocks all along the way to keep you inspired and a flag pole and gorgeous view on top.  We also found this wedding bower wet up about half way up the trail so we said I DO to each other all over again.

 When we got home we toasted our toesies on the open fire pit at the Belnap's home.  We love spending time with our precious friends.

 Add is editing photos and Bre is eating a turkey wrap.  She just found out she gets to play Miss Honey in Matlida at HCT this spring.

Alfie and Poppy are playing blocks

 Lexi and Lady are hanging out....

 While Monson is playing with Princess Merida, aka Tayla.  He is so lucky

 Tru is having a healthy lunch and just finished a Yoga session in Portland after staying up all night with his friend at the hospital.

 The Buzelli's are back in Florida after their week long cruise going out of Puerto Rico.  They had a wonderful time.

Laila is having a full day of SBO stuff... a leadership conference, supporting State Cheer competition and watching State Honors choir at the Tabernacle.  She is a busy girl--

Sleep is my middle name

I sleep like a rock.  It's one of my talents.  I pride my self in it.  I can go to sleep within just a few minutes of laying my head on the pillow.  Usually I say to my Wayne..."Do you need to say anything to me? No?  Okay.  I love you."  I close my eyes, lay flat on my back with one leg folded up like a stork and my hands crossed over my chest like I'm in a coffin.   I breathe in and slowly count to eight, I hold it for four counts, then I exhale slowly for seven counts.  I do this a few times and I'm out.  I sleep through the night, never even needing a bathroom break.

I can sleep with snorers.  I just put ear plugs in and/ or a head pillow over my eyes and folded into my ears and go to sleep.  This is from decades of training, sharing a bed room with another couple for a week at Bear Lake.  This is more of a challenge, but I make it work.

"I can sleep in a car.  I can sleep on a chair.  I can sleep in a meeting.  I can sleep in the air.  I can sleep in the temple or at church.  I can sleep on the beach or in a lurch?" -- Dr. Seuss has got nothing on me.

You get it..... I  sleep.
It could be my middle name.  Melinda- sleeper extraordinaire- Welch.
I sleep.
Most nights.
Until I don't.
Then it's like what's wrong with me?  Why am I still awake?  What did I eat?  What did I drink that had caffeine in it after 2:00?  Why won't my thoughts turn off?  Why does Wayne keep moving around?  Where is the remote, maybe if I watch something?  Where are the scriptures, they always get me sleepy?  I can't believe my Si friend sleeps like this every night.  I have so much to do tomorrow and I need to have my sleep! Why me?  Why?   All the things.

As a young mother I rarely slept through the night.  No fault of my own, just all the littles having crazy night sleeps that I got to be a part of.  I dragged around with tired eyes, tired thoughts and tired self pity.

I know this did me no good and now 15 years away from kid-induced-sleepless-nights I've adopted new thoughts around sleep or more particularly around my sleepless nights.

Instead of getting annoyed about these nights, I have just decided it's not that big of deal.   And guess what, I usually get back to sleep quicker.....or not. And either way it's okay.  I'm genuinely okay with being awake at night and just being with my thoughts and myself.  I look at it as meditation instead of dwelling in self pity.

And in the morning, it's really no big deal.  I might move a little slower and do things a bit differently this day but I can just be tired and not complain about it. Or... I could look for sleep aides- melatonin or ambien ...and still not complain about it.

What's worse?  Fatigue and Self pity or just Fatigue?

As I move through my life coach journey it's fun to adopt ways of thinking that are different from how most of the world thinks.  It's very liberating to understand my thoughts create my reality and my thoughts around "needing sleep" vs "having the perfect amount of sleep for me" help me move through my day with power instead of as a victim of my sleepless night. 

Habits

Here the are habits that I have acquired which prove to me that I can conquer other areas of my life and form new life improving habits..

1.  I make my bed every morning . I've been doing this since I was a little kid.  My mom didn't have to remind me but she did my sister, Marcie.  Marcie was the messy creative one, I was the clean driven one.  I make my bed so quickly sometimes Wayne is just going to the bathroom and planning on getting back into bed and if he doesn't say something the bed is made for the day by the time he returns.  I have learned to ask him now.

2 . I've conquered laundry. Laundry is a no brainer for me.  Wash on cold, don't get too uptight about separating everything.  Have a sock drawer, underwear drawer so I can just scoop everything up and put it in the drawer with out matching and folding everything.  Everything else gets put on a hanger.  I get my laundry done quick and it's never sitting around in a hamper getting more and more wrinkled as I try to find time to fold it all.   

3.  I go to the gym/ walk at least 3 times a week. I really try to be religious about this and the weeks this doesn't happen I just don't feel good.  My day doesn't go as well.  The exercise with Si or Kathleen feels like therapy and we can talk and discuss our lives.  The days when I'm on my own with air pods in my ears, I listen to a book or podcast .  Both are good.

4.  I read/listen to scripture every morning . I started this last year and feel like it has really helped me.  It sets the pace for my day and gives me something to ponder and consider.  I try not to get on my phone for anything  til this is accomplished.

5.  I wipe down my sink and countertop when I'm done getting ready in the morning.  It really is a housekeeping thing, but it's helpful.  My sink and counter top area don't get as messy and gross as they could be.  I wipe it down; get the make up and hair etc. out of the sink.

6.  I brush my teeth morning and night.  This is another no brainer.  The first thing I do in the morning is wake up, stumble to the bathroom and brush my teeth.  I can't stand the morning taste and the toothpaste taste really helps me to wake up.

7 .  I wash my face EVERY night.  I do this even is I'm not wearing make up.  I do this even if it's so late and I'm so tired and just want to fall into bed.  I do this on automatic.  My skin isn't great, but I'm working on that as well.  I'm doing a PMD every four days and using good anti aging lotion night and day.

8.  Unpack the minute I get home.  When I go on a trip  and then return I'm all about unpacking my suitcase and getting the laundry started ASAP.  I want the clothes in the hamper, the shoes back in the closet, the toiletries in the bathroom and the suitcase put away. 

9.  I go to church every Sunday.  I love this habit.  As a young mother I wondered if I would ever get to this point, but I'm here and I love it.  I want to meet with like minded saints and learn together.  I look forward to the sacrament and singing hymns in a congregation.  I love supporting and listening to the speakers.    Church is important to me and the Sundays I miss it, I feel it.

10.  I send out a school email every Monday.  This is habit after 11 years on this job.  I make sure it gets out and I don't delegate it to another day or think it's not important.  It's my way of letting my school families know what's going on in our school and it's my way of connecting with them and hopefully getting an answer in return.  I need to get better at using the template, there is some frustration there, but I do get the email sent.

These habits make me realize that I can set new patterns and habits in my life.  I can create neuro-pathways that move me forward.  I'm thinking of the habit of speaking only good, the habit of setting an intention for the day, the habit of gratitude and the habit of writing goals down.   Habits are what make a life.  Good habits can make it evolve to something higher, more deliberate...more. 

Aquarius Children

 My Aquarius children are celebrating their arrival into this world Jan 21, and Jan 22.  Tru and Laila are one of a kind and a lot alike.   These are my final two January celebrations bringing the total to five.   We had a big January extended Cole celebration at our home last night with games and a birthday cake so Laila and Alfie could  blow out the candles.  The Grands banged away on the piano and sang Happy Birthday to "Chuchie" ( Truman) and I caught it on video and sent it to him.  Tru is celebrating with his friends at an airbnb cabin in the mountains surrounding Seattle with a group of his close friends.   We got him air pods and I mailed him home made ginger cream cookies.

 Laila is getting permanent hair removal ( her request) and a swim suit she wanted and lots of dinners and lunches out.  She had three friend boys or boy friends do something "birthday" for her.

Laila's decorated birthday car in BHS parking lot.  Rocky Road Ice cream in the bag!

I've been thinking a lot about these two and what I want to say to mark this occasion.  I decided to spell it....
LAILA
L: loves to Laugh and has the best joyful face when she does.
A: Always learning about life with it's ups and downs and figuring friendships and herself out.
I:  Idealistic.  She yearns for a better world with equality and empathy for the marginalized
L: Loyal to friends and family.  She keeps other's secrets.
A: helpful and loving Attitude.  She has really grown in this area and has matured so much.

TRUMAN
T: Talented.  He will do well in anything he puts his mind to.
R: Respectful of us as parents.  We have marked differences in ideology and he never puts us down.  This respect goes both ways.
U: Urban.  Tru loves living in the big city.  He likes Portland because it's a big city with mountains and nature so close by.  He loves to hike.
M: Meaningful conversations.  I love when Tru calls me just to check in while he's walking home from work, and we really enjoy when we have time do dive into something juicy or something we just learned from a podcast or book.
A: Always seeking the next big thing in music, art, entertainment, fashion.
N:  No pretense.  He is himself.  "I am what I am."


I love being Laila's and Truman's momma.  I love watching them grow in so many ways and I love cheering them on.

My grands

It's Alfie's birthday today.  He's five.  He can read and write already and he still has kindergarten ahead of him.  Alfie is all the things a silently stubborn five year old should be.  He is gentle and rowdy. He is considerate and artistic. So much like his dad.  Alfie doesn't like putting on costumes or dressing up or singing for people or having attention drawn to him.  So much NOT like his dad.  Aflie is okay playing by himself and really loves playing video games on my phone.  He's also very creative and will entertain himself and cousin Tayla for hours playing hide and seek, jumping on the trampoline, playing "magic" or unicorn, running and wrestling with cousins.   If he doesn't want to do something or eat something he just says, "I'm fine."  Who can argue with that?
I love this little guy so much and I am his biggest cheerleader.

I remember when Alfie was born far away in Florida.  We knew Addison and Bre had checked into the hospital and we were waiting for a call that a little boy was born, but the call never came and never came.  Wayne and I were up all night waiting with worry and praying that the baby would be healthy and Bre would survive it all.   Finally early the next morning Addison called and reported that all was well.  He was crying.  We were crying.  I knew the overwhelm and love Addison was feeling at this time.  The unknown of being a new parent and how  life was never going to be the same.

It would be another two weeks before we got to go to Florida and hold this little guy.  In the meantime Addison . had sent pictures and even a silhouette of Alfie's head with hair sticking out all over.  I know Add and Bre thought the silhouette looked cool, but I just thought it looked like a scary monkey and I wondered what this little guy really looked like. Wayne, Laila and I flew to Florida to goo and cuddle with Alfie and help out Addison and Bre for a bit.  They were in a tiny one bedroom apartment and we all slept on the floor of the living room/kitchen while they tried to sleep in the small bedroom with Alfie in the cradle.  It was tight.

I couldn't believe the love I felt for this little boy the first time I held him. Fresh from heaven with all of the promise and beauty of a full life ahead of him.   I felt this three other times with my other grand babies, Tayla, Poppy and Lady.

It's been interesting to me to see how my love has grown for Sophia and Andrew.  They came into our lives in a far different manner. Landon and Alex started dating and I met Alex's kids as an outsider when they were three and six.  I didn't know if they were going to be a part of the Welch family?  If the Buzelli's would stick around?  If I should invest my time and love into this relationship just to have my heart broken when they walked out of it?  I had to get over this and just open my heart and love for the time I could, whether it be short or long.  Having Landon and Alex get married helped with the permanence of my grandparent relationship. I can honestly say, I love Sophia and Andrew as my own because they are.  And no matter where their lives go I will always be interested and want the best for them.   And I'm so grateful they are a part of my heart.  Wayne and I had to come up with what we wanted to Sophia and Andrew to call us as grandparents since they couldn't just  organically happen from a little 1 or 2 year old.  We opted for Momma Melinda and Papa Wayne.  I love when they call me this.  Our littles couldn't say all of this so it's been shortened to Meema and Papa. 

Alfie is being celebrated this day and Lady is having her day January 19th.

Our little Adelaide arrived last year.  Once again Wayne and I and Lexi's people- Kaitlyn and Rebecca were anxiously waiting to find out about this little doll and praying all would be well.  We were shocked when everything in the hospital deteriorated and emergency personnel were called in and bells were ringing and Monson was looking pale and helpless.  We were all just sick inside and  praying that his wife and baby were going to survive.  It was scary. Two and a half  weeks in the NICU and  finally we were back in happy baby land. It was a rough start but it's been a fun year to watch Lady grow and change and to see how sweet sister Tayla has been with her.
Lady is a cuddler with an inquisitive personality.  She has  a little magical elfen face with gorgeous eyes. Lady is also a destroyer.  She can empty out every cupboard and pull down every DVD and book off any shelf in a matter of minutes.  It's truly a gift.

I love being Meema- Momma Melinda to all of these awesome humans.

In the body image club

I remember  being 11 years old, sitting in the stair well  picking at the green carpet listening to the conversation around me.  I had a shag hair cut and wore my new wire frame glasses and purple-flare pants.  Marcie was in her trendy suede jacket with the striped sweater back and  olive green cords and she was crying.  Again.   Marcie was crying over something some dumb, snot-nosed kid said about her weight  and mom was helping her remember she's a beautiful child of God and that it doesn't matter what other kids say.  This scenario always ended with extra hugs and attention from my mom.  The stair well drama became a regular occurrence for many years. The clothing  and hair styles changed but the loving conversation and extra hugs remained the same. 

 The pep talks worked.  By the time Marcie hit high school she had good self esteem, awesome fashion sense and didn't let other's comments or negativity bother her.  I was an interested bystander through all of this with my wanna be Farrah Fawcett hair that was really 10 inches too short to rock that look, wearing my jeans from the 5-7-9 store.

Marcie and I shared clothes - mostly tops and jewelry as a lot of sisters do.  We couldn't share much else.  Marcie was always the older, taller one going through high school as a size 16.  It wasn't easy on her, but with a mom who supported, loved on and was always willing to be there to buoy her up,  she enjoyed her high school experience. 

I had a big aha recently.
I've had weight and body image issues since I was in Jr. High.
Me.
The girl who at the most has weighed 45 lbs over what the normal weight range for a person my height should be and that's when I was pregnant. The girl whose largest size I have ever had to buy is a size 14 and I usually hover in the 10-12 range without too much effort.   
 
I've decided  a lot of it stems from my subconscious wanting my mom's extra love, hugs and attention like what Marcie was getting for her weight issues. It was something I could bond over with mom and Marcie. A way that I could be in their "club."

It's taken me decades to realize this.

It would have been more helpful had I picked up on the "you are 100% love-able and 100% worthy no matter how you look or what you weigh...this is a fact just because you are a child of God and were born" message mom was preaching at the same time.

Losing weight has so much to do with my thoughts.  Becoming aware of  the resistance my lower brain wants to throw in my weight loss path.  The thoughts of "you deserve to eat that" and "this diet will never work"and "this is too hard" that seem to sabotage me.  I have come to recognize that this is human and how brains work, and it's up to me to tell my lower -primitive brain to settle down and just move forward anyway.  To not get side tracked in fear, doubt, insecurity and shame and sneak some ice cream or a cracker.  This is what my lower brain wants me to do so it doesn't have to learn new things. My higher brain, on the other hand, is on my side and wants to help me evolve.  It's just more challenging to stay in consciousness and be in that higher brain.

I'm great at "white knuckling" myself through the weight loss process but I have always gained it back when I release the control and return to my old thoughts and old ways of eating. 

New thoughts are on their way.  It's possible that I can get rid of 20 pounds of weight without gaining it back.  It's possible that I am 100% love-able no matter what I weigh.  It's possible that food - what I"m going to eat or what I ate won't consume my thoughts.  It's possible that Mom and Marcie loved me whether I was in their "club" or not.  It's possible.  It's all possible. 

My motto this year is change your thoughts change your life and I'm embracing it!

Sometimes I wish I was back in that stair well with mom telling me "all the things," but...... I  know I can tell myself and manage my own thoughts.

Wayne's birthday

Wayne had a great birthday..well at least that's what I"m telling myself . For the last many weeks and for weeks to come anything he buys for himself including Costco groceries count as his birthday present!
The only gift I got him was a joke sweatshirt that he is less than thrilled about. But it's pretty funny!  Well gross and funny all at the same time.

 Addison ended up modeling it for us.  The belly button is huge.  I don't know what that's about.

We had a nice family dinner with everyone going around the table saying what they loved about their dad and grandpa.  Wayne is easy to talk about.  The kids all went in with a memory box for Wayne that included home made kid cards, some testimonies shared and letters about Wayne.   It's very thoughtful.

No sugar for this guy so no cake but Bre brought her home made Tried and True Choco chip cookies for our  candle holder. Tayla and Alfie helped blow out the candle.

The littles -Poppy and Lady were in top form wanting to practice their walking with anyone who would lend them a finger.  They went around and around the island.

For birthday lunch we went with Bob and Kimi Farley for MEXICAN at Chile Amor-- Wayne got to wear a sombrero and eat FLAN so it was a good day.

The Birthday boy's night activity was FHE with the YSA's . ( We evidently only speak in letters in this YSA calling) .    I set up three escape rooms with the help of my friend Kathleen Newman.  It was a Missionary apartment you had to escape out of with all sorts of LDS type clues. It was so much fun for 36 of our people and Bishop Wayne.  BUT..... I forgot to get a picture of all these good YSA's and OMA's .  (Old Married Adults)

Temple changes

"I'm in love. I'm in love and I don't care who knows it." this is what Buddy the Elf says in the movie ELF about his life and this is how I felt when I left the Temple yesterday.

There have been changes to the Temple Endowment that just thrill me.  All of the stuff that was starting to bug me and make me choose to not do endowment sessions but just stick to sealing and initiatory sessions has gone away.    I know my Heavenly Father has heard the prayer in my heart for this. 

There are easier clothing changes.
More empowering language for women of god's kingdom.
Eve has a bigger voice.
The pics shown in the presentation include all races, nationalities, walks of life!
I see Christ everywhere in the Endowment session now and feel of his love and atonement working in Adam and Eve's life and in my own.

I cried through many parts of this.

Wayne and I had a good discussion about all of this in the Celestial room afterward that just felt so loving and it really deepened my understanding and testimony.

I remember in the early 90's when some things of the endowment were changed and I appreciated that so much, but this is for all of the women out there who have felt marginalized in the gospel.  So much good is happening.

I love our new prophet, Pres. Russel M Nelson, and his vision and ability to take Heavenly action and move us Saints to a higher law.

Happy New Year 2019

 I'm looking to my zodiac sign to see what's in store for me this year... I don't necessarily believe, but I find it a lot of fun to think about.  The only part I don't like about my sign is the actual name- Cancer- since it's taken away so many of my people.