Corona porch pics

Zoom gatherings

Kim, Me, Kimi, Diane, Heidi, Si, Erin and Laura

Zoom gatherings are keeping me sane.  I love getting online with my sunseekers, carols, family, friends.  It is so good to see faces and to check in with everyone and see how they are doing during our corona time. 

We didn't do this before... but I like this atleast once a week check in now.  Connection is important to me and I thrive on good friendships.

We are meeting on Monday nights at 8:30 with my kids and spouses to play games.  It's great to just hang out and chat with each other til ten.  The littles are in bed so the parents can sit and play as well. 

COVID

When this is over, can you promise me something?

No more wasted beach days because you didn’t like your body. You deserve that sun, that sea, that freedom. You are beautiful whether you feel it or not. We all are, we really are.

You deserve the joy.

No more wasted weekends because you didn’t want to eat too much, or let yourself go too much.

Time won’t wait for you.

You deserve the joy.

No more saving for best or for that ‘rainy’ day.

When the rainy days come your wonderful memories will keep you warm.

You deserve the joy now, not later, not when you have earned it.

When this is over my friends, promise me that you will live this life every minute of every day and that you will never, ever tell yourself you are not enough.

You were always enough.

Prom 2020!

Laila’s Prom was AWESOME.  I decorated all day on Friday with help from my friend Holly Reid. We borrowed a ton of fabric and lights etc. from Centerpoint Theatre and turned my back yard into a Prom fairyland.  We had an entrance with balloons and lanterns, a dance floor- which was our gazebo without the canvas top, and instead added a sparkly fabric top that you could still see the stars through, lots of fairy lights and balloons.  We also created a space for the after activity of watching a movie.  We hooked around church table cloth to the frame of our outdoor swing and brought out a green couch and had popcorn and drinks.  Holly had a projector to make the movie go big-- and it was all so cute!      Good thing for friends like Holly and Kathleen Newman who lent the lanterns and helped with balloons. 

Our cousin Jenna-- the hair and makeup guru

Laila borrowed a dress from a friend---it was actually shorts with lace on top.   Laila got ready with help from cousin Jenna ( as usual)  her hair and make up were on point, then Max Eiting picked her up with a bouquet of roses at 6:30.  Laila asked Bre to take the prom pics, so she came and did some in our back yard, then they went into SLC to get more fun urban pics. 

 Annett and Mitch Eiting did dinner for these two at their home with steak and potatoes , then they finally arrived at the Dance by 9:00-- danced, had dessert and watched Avatar on the movie screen.  Laila went with Max to her first high school dance as a sophomore and now to her last dance as Seniors.  They have been friends since preschool at 3 years old.    Laila and Max were so grateful for everyone’s efforts to make this night fun during a non fun social distancing COVID time. 

It was so good to do this for my girl. It was great to see her get excited about something and for me to get out of this corona funk by decorating and planning. Laila was laughing and being her gorgeous self.

Optimist, Pessimist, Realist?

“I know I can keep doing this til May 1st. We are doing good! “

I announced this to my husband as he cloroxed the counter for the ump-teenth time and I washed my hands...again. He just laughed and responded,

“So May 2nd comes around and we are still in mandated social distancing time and you are going to do what? Give up? Stay in bed? Hide under the covers? Fall apart? What?”

Are you an optimist, pessimist or a realist and who makes it through “best” in these unprecedented times?

This question reminds me of what I learned from Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor, in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning.

He wrote that pessimists gave up hope right off the bat and perished. Optimistic prisoners within Nazi concentration camps usually died around Christmas time. He believed that they were so hopeful they'd be out by Christmas that they simply died of hopelessness when that didn't turn out to be true.

Prisoner of war for seven years during the Viet Nam war, James Stockdale, has a principle coined after him which also speaks of this reality.

Stockdale speaks about how the optimists fared in camp. The dialogue goes:
"Who didn't make it out?"
"Oh, that's easy," he said. "The optimists."
"The optimists? I don't understand," I said, now completely confused.
"The optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."


Who survived were the realists. The ones who took it one day at a time and didn’t put a timeline on their hope.
It’s the upbeat “the sun will come up tomorrow” people mixed with “and today is really hard and that’s okay” attitude that survives.

My husband gave me a healthy reality check of - It is what it is, and it can be this way until whenever, and it’s all good.

So we are taking it one day at a time around here.
Some days I sit on my couch and watch too much t.v. and other days I tackle my entire to-do list.

We will make it through to May 1st and May 2nd and beyond.

We can realistically do this!

No more School

Laila stood in the shower and cried for 45 minutes.

It's official - no going back to physical school for the rest of the year.

The end of her Senior year just stinks!

Spring choir concert
Track and Field
Choir trip to San Diego:- Sear World, Frozen the Broadway musical, Singing National anthem at a Padre's baseball game, Singing on the deck of the US Naval ship, harbor cruise.
PROM
Choir region and state competitions
Choir singing at Gardner Hall
Final Choir concert
Student body officer events
Bravestock
Final assembly
Graduation
All night party
Yearbook signing

ALL OF THESE ARE CANCELLED...

Add social distancing to this and not being able to hang out with her friends........

It's hard and just because someone else's hard is truly 100x harder, it doesn't make this sadness any less valid.  It's all hard.

Easter Sunday and blossom stroll

Happy Easter. This is the first time I can remember NOT being in church ( or listening to General conference) on Easter Sunday. These times are unprecedented, that’s for sure.


But I remind myself Easter is not at the church building. Easter is in our hearts every time we remember the atoning sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. He died for us. HE rose on the third day and He lives. We celebrate and are so grateful for this blessed event. We are choosing JOY today.

Wayne, Laila and I packed Jet in the car and went to the State Capitol to stroll under the gorgeous cherry blossoms. It’s an amazing (chilly) Spring morning. As we walked around I kept singing my favorite easter hymn-- “Joy to the world, The Lord is Come. Let earth receive her KING”

I want to show up with faith and hope!

 I’m excited for the upcoming fast we get to participate in on Good Friday.


I love going through this Corona time with hope and faith in God.
I wasn't always at this point...

A couple years back I was in a cynical place regarding God and the LDS church. Everything just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I would go to church with a chip on my shoulder thinking that none of this really mattered. I couldn’t find reason in so much sadness, destruction, unkindness, death, and hardship. I didn’t like the church’s stand on LGBTQ and some church history. I stopped praying and doing the simple things we are reminded to do that keep us close to the Spirit. I reasoned that God didn’t care about my choices and my relationships. I was doubting ..and thinking I was superior to all of those blind sheep who just follow along. I had questions.

Because of Wayne and our YSA calling, I did keep going to church. And out of habit, I would listen to one chapter of the Book of Mormon a day on my phone. It was mechanical and I didn’t gain much, but I went through the action of it. I felt isolated and alone in my doubting. I would scoff at fasting and prayer and makeup reasons not to attend the temple.

SO what changed?

I decided I just didn't like this version of me. I much preferred the faith-filled, hopeful, everything works out, and Jesus loves us Melinda.

SO…... I talked to people, I shared my cynicism and feeling that God just didn’t care, but I was determined to keep it to faith-filled people. I didn’t need anyone in my pessimistic pool with me.  I needed someone on the edge of the pool to help pull me out. ( Si, Wayne, Kathleen, Laura, Gary, Linda and so many more )

Here's what I know:

God is not going to take our agency away. We can do what we want to do.
WHO do I want to be?   WHOSE do I want to be? How do I want to show up in this world for my family and friends?  These are all within my control.

I like me when I’m seeking and questioning with Faith and Hope. It feels so much better in my body. (My mom totally modeled this for me. I just needed to remember.)

I know there are still some LGBT questions I don’t have answers to and some things in my church that just don’t make sense to me...and that’s Okay.

I like Melinda better in the gospel seeking personal revelation than on the outside of it sharing snarky comments and judging.

The 50/50 concept of life really liberated me and helped me understand this positive and negative is exactly what life is supposed to look like. And what a gift it is. We need an opposition in all things. We need the dark to appreciate the light.

The other thing that has helped me is developing curiosity and compassion instead of judgment towards the church, church leaders,  and the world.

I was on my faith walkabout for about 6 months.  I am glad it was only that long. I know there are others I love, who are taking a longer walk, but I know God is always with us.

Covid- 19

Just so I NEVER forget..... April 2, 2020

Gas price a mile from home was $2.22

School cancelled - yes cancelled
Self-distancing measures on the rise.
Tape on the floors at grocery stores and others to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other.
Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store doors.Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed.
Parks, trails, entire cities locked up.
Entire sports seasons cancelled.
Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events - cancelled.
Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings - cancelled.
Churches are closed.No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, now 5 or more.
Don't socialize with anyone outside of your home.
Children's outdoor play parks are closed.
We are to distance from each other.
Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers.
Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.
Panic buying sets in and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towel no laundry soap, no hand sanitizer.
Shelves are bare.Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.
Government closes the border to all non-essential travel.
Fines are established for breaking the rules.
Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of Covid-19 patients.
Press conferences daily from the President. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.
Government incentives to stay home.
Barely anyone on the roads.
People wearing masks and gloves outside.
Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.
Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families.
5.4 Earthquake hit Utah (Magna) March 18th 2020.
Be thankful. Be grateful.
Be kind to each other - love one another - support everyone.

This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020.

Why, you ask, do I write this status?

One day it will show up in my memory feed, and it will be a yearly reminder that life is precious and not to take the things we dearly love for granted. Careful who and what you vote for....this could be the new normal if you aren’t paying attention!

We have so much!

We are all one!