My 2022 Word of the Year

I got to give a church talk on this......  

(Began with a biking story of Wayne and I being hooked to our bikes and falling over into the street on a highly trafficked area.  It was so embarrassing.)

Totally stuck.  Embarrassed.  I wanted Grace.. Grace from drivers who would tell this story around their dinner table about two bikers who couldn’t get up.  Grace from Wayne… who displayed great patience with me and gave me the shoe idea to help us get unstuck.. Grace for myself… talk nice to myself, laugh about it, pour on a ton of  compassion over my humanness.  

Today I would like to talk on GRACE.   First: Earthly Grace.  Second: Heavenly Grace

Grace is  my word for 2022…. 

The definition of Grace is ….. Unwarranted kindness and consideration, Proactive acceptance… the feeling of: And I love you anyway

I have so much grace for leaders of our church. Grace for political leaders.  I have grace for my children.  Grace for myself.

Grace is not necessary when people do things ‘right.’   When people agree with us..then there’s no grace required.

Grace is only required when people do what we don’t like.  Say what we don’t agree with.  When we don’t see things the same way….that’s when Grace comes into play.

When you see that political facebook post that your friend shared that you don’t agree with– put some Grace around that

When you sis in law says something about covid or masks or vaccines that you don’t like – Grace

When a church program isn’t being ran like you think it should – grace

When you yell at your kids again – grace

When the nightly news get you all riled up – grace

When your child or spouse leaves the church – wrap some grace around that.

When  people make negative remarks about your LGBTQ kids - grace

When your cashier messes up and is slow - grace

When that car cuts you off in traffic - grace

When that neighbor says or does that one thing that drive you nuts - grace

When your husband get you bike clips that you can’t get out of - grace

And why would we want to extend this Christlike Grace to others and ourself?  Because it’s transformational…it’s what Christ would do.  Because we are the ones who get to feel the love and charity for others.  Which feels so much better than anger, outrage, hatred, disdain, ego and bitterness.   Grace feels so good…. And I love you anyway.  

I’m hungry for Grace for myself and for others…. and I have read and listened to so much on this topic.  

The ultimate Brad Wilcox talk… His grace is sufficient 2013-- really opened my eyes to what Grace is.     https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2013/09/his-grace-is-sufficient?lang=eng

Adam Miller’s book … Grace is not God’s back up plan.  It is the plan.  https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Not-Gods-Backup-Plan-ebook/dp/B00U1WBCXQ

Elder Uchtdorf’s  talk on Grace  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/church/news/dieter-f-uchtdorf-the-gift-of-grace?lang=eng

I am so hungry for messages of grace. 

I love the song “ Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.”

I can find Grace in our sacrament hymns….. “I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me, confused at the Grace that so fully he profers me.”   Profers means comes right up to me and gives it to me… I don’t have to move.  

The scriptures give us many  Grace filled parables.  Parable of Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin, the Prodigal son.   The sheep, the coin, the son do NOTHING to be found-- the action is in the Shepherd, the Seeker, the Father.  THAT’S GRACE.   GOD meets us where we are at.  HE too runs for us.  He is always willing.

What is the scriptural definition of Grace?  Grace is divine help and strength that we receive through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Through grace, we are saved from sin and death. In addition, grace is an enabling power that strengthens us from day to day and helps us endure to the end.   Everyone on earth experiences physical death.  Through the Grace of Jesus Christ, all will be resurrected and will live forever. (church website)

 The scripture that always tripped me up was 2 Nephi 25:23 “Saved by Grace after all we can do.”   I always read this incorrectly thinking doing was the important part. The first part of scripture gives me hope..the second part feels hard. Sounds like it’s all about works. All about obedience. ALl about a checklist. All about us. Not about Christ.  But the Brad Wilcox grace talk really unpacked this for me.  Now I read it and think..saved by Grace after all is said and done. 

No matter how many times I read the Book of Mormon, guess what?  It’s still Grace that Saves.

Or…...How many times I go to the temple

Or…...How many missions I go on.

Or …. How perfectly I try to obey

Or……..How many callings I accept…… it’s still Grace that saves. 

So why would I do anything if I’m just saved by Grace?    If we know we can’t be perfect, then why even  try? What’s the point?   Eat drink and be merry..right?     And of course, we go there, because that’s where the “scripture math” takes us.     We think if we can control what we do, we control the outcome. “Scripture math” leads us to some idea that we can control GOD.  Like Pharisees in the New Testament  perfect DOING  hijacked their BEING Christlike,.... Our perfect doing in the name of saving ourselves hijacks the GRACE narrative.

Isn’t it wonderful we don’t have to be perfect.

We all sin.  We all mess up.

So why improve?  Why do we want to be better?  

I really like the library and books analogy  Brad Wilcox gives to this earth school of ours.   This analogy is about our Heavenly parents giving us a huge library filled with books in the afterlife.  But….this is only a gift if we can read.  The service we give and the work we do towards being more Christ-like and loving in this life is teaching us how to read -- so in the next life, we are ready to receive more, learn and grow in God’s library.  By being obedient in this life we are learning to love what the Lord loves.   

We want to keep the commandments because we love God. We want a relationship with God.   IT’s not transactional -- I do this and God gives me this. It’s Transformational… I want to be close to God.     I want to be able to read so when given access to a library I can use it and be ready and excited for it. 

When we understand Grace it’s liberating.  We realize God isn’t keeping score.  We just need to do simple things.  Primary things… called primary not because we learn in primary but because these are the basic building blocks of faith that keep us close to God.-- Pray, read, obey. Believe in Christ. Repent.  Simple things like come each week to church and take the sacrament and hear the sacrament prayer… and remember,  be willing to serve and bear testimony.  Simple things like giving others a break.  Find people fascinating and learning..wrap them in compassion, curiosity and stay out of judgment.

THAT I can do.

My brain keeps offering up my old patterns around GRACE--- that I have to keep DOING in order to prove something…to prove my worth.  

I’m getting better at saying to myself ...that’s what I used to think...now I know more.   

 

What I know is I believe in Christ and his atonement and I DO things - keep His commandments – serve in His kingdom– be kind and honest in my relationships so I can be in a relationship with Christ.  To be more like him.  It’s transformational.  That’s it – full stop. 

Brad Wilcox in his Oct 2021 conference talk says this.. “His grace is not just a prize for the worthy.  It is the divine assistance He gives that helps us become worthy.  Grace is not just a reward for the righteous.  It is the endowment of strength he gives that helps us become righteous. We are not just walking toward God and Christ.  We are walking with them.”

Transformational Relationship.

Isn’t it wonderful we don’t have to be perfect to access God’s grace?

“Be ye therefore perfect….eventually.” - E. Holland. 

  

“ yay come unto Christ and be perfected in Him.  By his Grace you may be perfect in Christ. “ Moroni 10:32  

What does stepping into GRACE look like?  

Allowing more GRACE for myself---More compassion, more curiosity, more tenderness… talking nice to myself like Jesus would to a child who messes up..  Picking myself back up when I fall, when I sin which I will do again and again, repenting and knowing that Jesus is my guy. He’s my partner in all of this.  I want this relationship. I believe in Christ

I embrace Grace...which in turn has given me more faith, love and hope.  ANd helps me be more willing to extend Grace to my fellow earth travelers..who are different than me, who don’t think like me,  or don’t do or say what I want.

   

I stand all amazed at the LOVE and GRACE Jesus offers me. Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me.

Wayne and I have gotten back on our bikes and have changed our clips and have biked thousands of miles at this point.  We kept at it and kept learning and growing and giving each other grace along the way.  

Grace may we live in it, may we love it, may we offer it to others, may we know it’s a beautiful Gift from God.

In the name of Jesus Christ amen

 

The Military wedding

Markus Allred and our Laila got married on Jan 24, 2022, in San Diego California....for military purposes.  They are having the big ceremony with the expensive dress and bridal showers and all of the hoopla on September 21, but this was to file the paperwork so the military marriage benefits could kick in sooner, rather than later.    This is now called "the event that shall not be named."

Here's how it went down......They stood in the middle of a large gazebo 20 feet away from everyone while a city worker dressed like a supreme court judge married them.  They looked so young, so vulnerable and all I could think of was the song from WEST SIDE STORY, "Make of our heart, one heart.  Make of our lives one life.  Now it begins, now it starts, one hand, one heart...even death won't part us now."  

I couldn't stop crying.  

I will save my FIDDLER ON THE ROOF "Sunrise, Sunset" song for the big September shindig.

When first approached about this and asked if we wanted to be there.... I thought, no we are good, it's just paper work, but Wayne insisted and I'm glad he did.  Who knows what the world will look like between now and September?  Who knows what will happen next?  So our baby girl is a married lady.   Crazy.

After the quick ceremony, Markus picked her up and walked her to his white truck.  The end.

 

Our God is a God of Miracles

 Wayne and I had to speak today in our Sacrament meeting.  Wayne shared this thought on struggles, obstacles and how our God is a God of Miracles....

"I was often asked the question - If God loves us so much and is so powerful, then how could he allow problems and suffering and sin in the world and in our lives.  

 

I think one of the reasons that the Savior chose to leave in his resurrected body the marks in his hands and his feet and in his side was to remind us that painful things happen even to the pure and perfect. Signs, if you will, that pain in this world is not evidence that God doesn’t love you - It is quite the opposite - His love is whole and complete

 

As we study the scriptures, maybe God does his best work through – and our greatest growth comes - from seemingly hopeless situations.

 

There are at least as many stories of the Savior’s apostles questioning, stumbling, doubting and failing as there are of clarity, certainty, and perfection. 

Perhaps the former is more a part of our spiritual growth than we realize

 

In the scriptures, we read about people who all faced seemingly hopeless situations.

 

Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and put in prison – a hopeless case.  

Moses was cornered on the banks of the Red Sea with the most powerful army in the world breathing down his neck.  

Gideon was 300 against 120,000.  

Nephi and his brothers couldn’t get the plates. 

David stood across the valley from a blood-thirsty giant.  

Ester was a woman trying to gain a word with a prideful king.  

Daniel’s roommate was a lion.  His friends were thrown in an oven.  

Jonah stunk at his job and got stuck in a whale.

Peter denied. 

Paul was imprisoned. 

The 5,000 had no food. 

Lazarus was dead.  

Alma was a priest of King Noah and ran for his life. 

Timothy was too young.  

Abraham was too old.  

The youngest son squandered his inheritance.  

The walls of Jericho were too strong, and 

Jesus Christ was scourged, crucified, and placed in a tomb, burying along with Him all hopes of the resolution that had been hoped for, and prophesied about for thousands of years.

 

It would be easy to believe when reading these stories that all hope was lost.   But when it seems that all other options have been used and when circumstances couldn’t get worse, when everything else has failed, that is when we find out that our God is a God of hope and miracles.

 

You see, Joseph became second in command to pharaoh – the Red Sea parted.  Gideon won without lifting a weapon.  Laban lost his head. David beat Goliath.  Ester spoke, and the king listened.  Daniel tamed the lion. The oven felt like room temperature.  Ninevah repented.  Peter became the rock.  Paul rejoiced.  Twelve basketfuls were left over.  Lazarus arose.  Abinidi preached and Alma baptized multitudes. Timothy built a church – Abraham built a family.  The youngest son came home to a party. The walls of Jericho came tumbling down – And Jesus Christ was resurrected, defeating sin and death, and giving us hope that we through Him can overcome any and every obstacle."

Wayne is 60!

Wayne turned 60.... this is a milestone birthday. A birthday that makes you stop and take stock of where you’ve been and where you want to be.  While he's thinking on that, I put a list together with help from family and friends of .....

60 Things we LOVE about WAYNE 

1. He’s funny and does magic tricks.

2. He’s kind and makes sure everyone has a great time and likes going on trips with his family. 

3. He’s very smart and generous. 

4. My dad is very accepting of people in a come as you are way. And loves people just for exactly who they are. He sees potential and helps us strive to be our best selves but in a way that we all know his love is unchanging and unwavering. 

5. I love that my dad is a go-to guy. If I call he answers. If I need help he is there. If I don’t know something he figures it out. 

6. I love that dad is all in all the time. Any crazy idea mom or the kids or the grands come up with he is there for it with an excited attitude. 

7. I love that dad loves God. He sees him all around and shows others God’s love through him. 

8.  Sense of humor

9.  He’s always willing to drop anything to help his family

10. He adventurous with motorcycle and food

11. Takes time to have spiritual moments

12. His sweet bright smile

13. His Famous mashed potatoes

14. Has great judgment 

15. He’s a tease

16. His hash

17. His Olive Garden marinated chicken 

18. Craig the peg

19. When he plays the piano. (especially the entertainer)

20. When he gets competitive 

21.  Love when he plays with the grandkids

22. Dad is steadfast.

23.  He can uplift an individual or a crowd

24.  A thoughtful friend 

25. Wise 

26.  Always willing to help 

27.  Loves the Lord 

28.  Loves unconditionally

29.  Always up for ANYTHING from a hike, or a sing-along to a tik tok video dance

30.  Patient

31.  Unconditional Love

32.  Humble

33.  Peacemaker

34.  Best brother

33.  Loves UTAH football

34. So able to do so many things

35.  Fastest googler in the west

36.  Spiritual

37.  Kind

38.  Funny

39.  Strong

40.  Intelligent 

41.  Caring

42.  Committed

43.  Faithful 

44.  Great sport 

45.  Very supportive 

46.  Service 

47.  Handsome

48.  Loving

49.  Humble 

50.  Compassionate

51.  Loyal 

52.  Tech-savvy 

53.  Hardworking

54.  Nonjudgmental 

55.  Caring father

56.  Thoughtful

57.  Adaptable

58.  Servant

59.  He values people/relationships over everything else. 

60.  He has integrity. 

We couldn’t stop at 60—- there was just so much more to talk about!

61.  He can be counted on. 

62.  He is faster than Siri. 

63.  He is long-suffering and never complains, even though he goes through so many hard things. 

64.  He makes everyone feel valued/is no respecter of persons. 

65.  Understanding

66.  A servant’s  heart

67.  Unconditional love and concern

68.  Focus on improvements

69.  Loyal friend

70.  Great hair

71.  Quick to laugh

72.  Assumes the best

73.  Walks the talk

74.  Never afraid to try

75. Family first

76. Devoted son and brother

77.  Rich

78.  Lucky

79.  Useful

80.  Generous

81.  Considerate

82.  Babies and kids love him

83.  Teenagers, Young adults, and the elderly love him.

84.  Everyone loves Wayne

85.  Steady

86.  a man of integrity. 

87.  A person who cares more about what the Lord thinks than anyone else. 

88. He is such a great example to us of truly being a follower of Christ in every way 

89.  He’s sexy

90.  Quick to help

91.  Level headed

92.  Leader

93.  Romantic

94.  Awesome bishop.. Relatable to young people, real

95.  A minister

96.  Generous with time and effort

97.  Willing to drop what he is doing to help others- gives up first-class tickets on an international flight.  

98.  Never puts others down

99.  Doesn’t complain when he hurts or is dizzy. ( which he is daily)

100.  Easy to travel with

101.  Honors and magnifies his priesthood

102.  Easy to love.

103.  Patient

104.  Christlike

105.  Everybody’s best friend

106.  Mellow

107.  Great listener

108.  So Christlike 

109.  Always positive

110. So very kind

111. Accepting

112. Always serving

113. Always up for a party!

We could go on and on.....

Wayne at 2, 5, 14, 19, 32, 40, 51...and now 60!

In a weird way I don’t believe in holidays because I believe in celebrating life every day.

I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day because I believe in celebrating love every day.

I don’t believe in birthdays because I believe in celebrating you and what you want — every day.

I’ve watched this trend towards birthday weeks and birthday months and it makes me laugh — why limit the celebration to a day? A week? Or a month?

Let’s celebrate each other EVERY day and ALL year.

An extensive study in the U.S.A found that the most productive age in human life is between 60-70 years of age.

The 2nd. most productive stage of the human being is from 70 to 80 years of age.

The 3rd. most productive stage is from 50 to 60 years of age.

The average age of NOBEL PRIZE winners is 62 years old.

The average age of the presidents of prominent companies in the world is 63 years.

The average age of the pastors of the 100 largest churches in the U.S.A. is 71.

The average age of the Popes is 76 years.

This tells us in a way that it has been determined, that the best years of your life are between 60 and 80 years.

A study published in NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE found that at age 60, you reach the TOP of your potential and this continues into your 80s.

Therefore, if you are between 60 -70 or 70-80 you are in the BEST and 2nd. level of your life.

SOURCE: N.Engl.J .Med. 70,389 (2018) ..

I send you this information so that you can re-think when you say that you are old

..... friends, this walk called life is just beginning

Rose Bowl!

 Happy New Year- 2022

New Years Weekend was EPIC-- we had a great time with some of our besties Laura and Eric Belnap.

We stayed at our beloved friend's St. George home then off to California and the Rose Bowl and Rose parade festivities. We stayed in a NICE hotel in Pomona, CA.- the Sheraton- a Marriott property.   Then traveled into Pasadena for the Rose stuff. We drove there on Friday afternoon and arrived while the rose parade judges were doing their judging, so all of the floats were on display. 

We got to be up close and personal especially once we met up with our friend, Candy Revels Tippets…she’s a hired florist for this event. She started out as a volunteer and did such a good job, they hired her. Candy gave us a behind-the-scenes tour..and we got on even climb on and get our pics taken on the Utah float. Those flower-all organic floats are amazing. And smell delicious. It’s so cool, and a labor of love how they get all of the parts and pieces covered with smashed-up dried peas, or cauliflower or oatmeal, or wheat, or cocoa or whatever… it’s so creative. You have to really think out of the box. To affix the seeds etc.. they paint on small portions of glue and then roll the seeds on sponge width at a time. It takes forever! They have to cut all of their fresh roses and other flowers - thousands of them- and put them in individual water vials. Candy gave us roses from the floats.

It was so fun to be close up to all of this. And then we didn’t feel the need to wake up and be on the parade route by 6 am for an 8 am parade and find parking with 100,000 strangers.We bought a lot of Rose Bowl swag.

We celebrated New Year's Eve early with bad BBQ, some noisemakers and I was in bed by ten while Wayne watched football and hung on the phone with DELTA ( his New years Eve date?) trying to get our money back from our canceled Israel trip. He was successful.

On game day, we rolled out of bed, put on our Rose Bowl sweatshirts, had a leisurely breakfast then headed to the Stadium. Laura forgot her Handicap parking pass…but Wayne talked his way very nicely to the handicapped parking lot…which was a blessing considering the state of our friends with Laura’s legs and Eric’s Shoulder. We were a stone's throw from the stadium. It was fun to meet up with Mark and Jill’s family and Pat, Kirstie, Anna, and Becca Welch for a big family picture. The mood was electric. SO many Utah Fans…it was like a home game. With Ohio and Utah both wearing red it was hard to tell, but out of 87,000 people- easily 60,000 were from Utah.

We met up with Laila’s Markus for a bit - got him some expensive food  ( all stadium food is priced too high) and a rose bowl beanie and sent him back to his seat. Laila gave him a game ticket for Christmas.

The game was EPIC… really such a good game. It had everything..lots of touchdowns, few penalties, an end zone to end zone run by Covey for a TD. SO much cheering and high-fives all around! The weather was perfect and all was amazing until the last 2 minutes…when our QB got injured and then in the last 9 seconds of the game we lost. It was devastating. We were so glad to be there though. (Still mad we lost- hopefully, this isn’t indicative of 2022)