My year of eating dangerously

When I turned 60 last July, I gave myself permission to STOP the madness and get off the dieting rollercoaster that I have put myself on since I was 13.   I wasn't going to weigh myself or adjust what I put in my mouth and just enjoy the moment - food and all.

The result is I'm heavier than I have ever been in my life and I'm okay with that.  I'm freaking 60 years old-- I'm not a youthful sex kitten, I'm a wise woman who has lived a full life!  AND when I turn off the media that idolizes youth, I feel good in my skin. 

I still find myself- because of 50 years of training- looking at other people's bodies and judging them. I compare myself to them on a better-than or less-than scale - weight, body, and looks-wise. I'm sad that I do this..and I keep telling my brain to knock it off.   It's deeply ingrained.    

I know I have at least 30 more years on this earth and I want to stay active, and healthy, but I also DON'T want to be caught up in this trap anymore.  I just want to enjoy life and stop the comparison.  

I see pictures of me and sometimes I don't recognize my round face.  My clothes fit on the tight end... so I'll just buy new clothes.  And if I  happen to shrink a size or two that's also fine.  

Rainbow Party time

The Rainbow party is our effort to teach love, acceptance and inclusion to our grand kids in an effort to change our world. We started our annual rainbow party with a swim in Jill Allsop's pool.  Living next to Jill for the past 32 years has been a joy.  She is the best.  She is so giving and kind and loves my kids and now my grandkids.  

Pizza and Popsicles and a PARADE!  

After a short discussion on why we love everyone--  because Jesus and it's the right thing to do -- the kids decided what they wanted their signs for the parade to say....."celebrate differences,"  " We love everybody," " love wins". " be nice"  "We are proud of you".  We put our rainbow clothes on-- bracelets, tutu's, capes, scarves, hats, balloons and shirts.  Put Alfie in the front banging a drum, Addison in the middle playing music off his phone,  Monson in the back holding our rainbow flag and we marched around our block chanting, "We love everybody"and "Who do we love?...everybody!"   I made some banana bread with a note attached to drop at neighbor's doors who fly rainbow colors thanking them.   I texted my neighbors and told them to come out and cheer for us if they wanted to...so many of them did.  It was really sweet.

 

Rosalinda

 Rosalinda has been with us since the beginning of April.  For the past three months she has been cooking and cleaning to earn money to send back home.  Her husband has been out of work since covid and no one will hire him because they say he's too old.  Rosalinda reached out in February to ask if she could come and if we might be able to find her some work to do as an undocumented worker.  We said yes, then didn't hear anything else til she showed up at our door on April 8th.  

Rosalinda was here as an 18-year-old in 1986 for a year.  She lived with my parents.  Her family met my brohter Adam when he served as a missionary down there and they all arranged this.  She has many memories of this time.  This was the year Addison was born and I remember trying to teach her to cross-stitch.  She had very limited English back then.  Now her English is better and my spanish is better-- still limited but it's coming.   

the first two weeks we were trying to find houses for her to clean and people to buys enchiladas, pico, taquitos, chicken tinga etc.   Then miracle of miracle's Marina-- who used to clean for my parents-- took Rosalinda on as one of her workers.  They bonded over my dad...they both have sweet stories about him to share and Marina felt the spirit tell her to do this.  Marina knows the situation and will have to pay taxes on all of the earnings...so basically she is giving Rosalinda a gift.     What a relief for me.  I have her at Marina's home every moring by 9 and they clean 2 or 3 houses then she returns home around 3.  So Rosalinda makes money this way and with food.  And I try to work on my Spanish with her. 

Everyone has been so generous $ wise. 

Rosalinda is heading to San Francisco to work with  a frined in a catering business for 2 more months before returning home to Mexico.    Wayne paid for her San Fran ticket and then Gary used some of is airline points to get her a first class ticket from San Fran to Mexico the end of August.  

All of Adam's family came to say goodbye. 

The original bunch from 1986 has grown..and Marcie is in heaven.

Rosalinda wanted to go to all of the temples around here and get her picture taken in front of them so we made that happen.

Oquirrh Mountain temple.

Happy Father's DAY

Guess who is on their tip toes in the picture?  

I love all of these men so much. 

I've been missing my dad today.  I re read what I said at my Dad's funeral and I re read his obituary..and it felt good.  Dad would walk into the room and say, "It walks. It talks. It wiggles like a snake.  It's almost human!"  or he would say this when  one of us kids walked into the room, just outta bed looking disheveled.  He said it a lot.  I can hear his voice in it.

Write Brooke Romney penned this and I just love so much of what it has to say.

 Dear fathers of today,

You amaze us.

We watch you rock babies, change diapers, coach soccer & still work, pursue hobbies, and volunteer. It’s incredible.

We admire your patience & teaching. You are great at explanations & apologies. We weren’t always so humble.

You are creative and less rigid. You allow your children to explore and support passions you never had.

We wish we would have kept things a little lighter, smiled more, spoken more calmly & reprimanded less.

Dads love to give advice, so ...

Don’t let technology raise your children. Resist that easy road.

Kids needs firm but loving discipline. It is OK to set boundaries & enforce consequences.

Make your kids work & earn money, even when no one else has to.

Do not define yourself by your paycheck. Money can create ease, but it does not create happiness.

Love & respect your spouse. If marriage is difficult, do all you can. Forgive, love, go to counseling.

If you are a single father, you are still a father. Support your children in every way. Never let hurt or anger toward an adult cloud the way you feel about your kids.

Take care of your parents. Joy comes from loving those who have loved you.

Make memories with your kids. Have 1:1 time. Be present.

Be secure enough to not be disappointed when your children choose a different path.

Encourage humility in success and grace in defeat.

Allow your children to fail, and when they do, share in their pain.

Different stages of life can be stressful, but they are stages. Things get better. One day you will miss the chaos.

Teach your children to solve their own problems, then trust them to deal with the outcome.

You cannot force faith, but you can teach about God, service, forgiveness & love.

We are sure we didn’t do everything right, but we look at you and see that somehow, someone makes up the difference.

There are times we wish we could swoop in and make it easier, but we would never rob you of those refining moments. You are becoming something greater than we had ever hoped.

We don’t say it enough, but we are so proud of the men you have become.

❤️,

Dads of yesterday

Believing vs. Knowing

Once again at Sacrament meeting, children and older people are going up to the stand and they are saying “I know the church is true.”  and not saying anything about Jesus.   

That is concerning to me …..  the church is here to lead us to Jesus not to the church. Jesus is not a member of this church.  How about working on saying, "I know the church is good" or "I know the church helps me become closer to Jesus"? 

Let's work on teaching and feeling a belief in Jesus.   Work on believing and expressing, "He is my friend."   "I’m trying to be more like Jesus. "  "My firm foundation and real hope is centered in Jesus Christ."

Wayne will stand up in sacrament meeting and say I know.  I will stand up and say I believe.  It’s all enough.   In reality, we both just want a relationship with GOD. 

Nowhere in the scriptures does it say you have to KNOW God lives to be saved…  or You have to KNOW Christ lives to be saved.   

It says you have to believe.  Or hope—that is enough. Only believe….  

I know my Wayne knows it…and I believe it.  Even if you just want to believe…. That’s enough.

Everyone in a church audience doesn’t know..and that’s okay.  

"Lord, I believe…help thou my unbelief."

Believing is awesome.. it keeps everything in growth mode.  We don’t get set in our ways.  

 3 Nephi 12:  “More blessed those who believe on your words- who haven’t seen me, but believe on your words.  “  

I know it’s a gift of the spirit to know…but for the rest of us who believe, who have hope and faith, that’s a gift too.  

The word believe has Germanic origins. Be= 100% inhabit. Lieve= love

Believing in Jesus Christ really means to be 100% in love with Jesus Christ.  

As disciples of Christ and as missionaries, we teach doctrine and concepts.  We do this to help people find joy in the gospel,  and thus, joy in their lives.  We help people to find some way to achieve divine potential and to be in love with Jesus Christ. 

The gospel is pure…but the church changes.  And it’s okay.  Pres. Nelson had made 108 different changes since he became our prophet. Some people are afraid of change. I have found with change,  personal revelation is important.

There is Doctrine and there’s Dogma.   We have so many cultural idiosyncrasies.  For example, we had the old For Strength of Youth which was full of rules and checklists.  The new For Strength of Youth is all about figuring it out, setting some goals to improve your life and working on a relationship with Christ. This is a beautiful and much-needed change. 

 

Checklists make worshipping Jesus burdensome, instead of joyful. We can go through the motions and go to church and the temple and never BECOME like Christ.  

So if the church is good then why leave the church?   Because...agency.  Here's what I know about those who leave--we need to not have fear around this and distance ourselves from the people who leave.  Instead, we need to lean in.  Talk to people who leave the church.   Ask about their journey.  Everyone is on their own path.  Ultimately all paths lead back to Jesus if not in this life then in the next life.  I believe this.

There are more non-Christians than Christians..and millions more people out of our church than in the church…so what's that about?     In the end, how will we all be judged? By the basics:  Love your neighbor, minister, help others, and love GOD.  Regardless of what path you are on it all leads back to Jesus Christ.   If I can understand this… then the only answer is “I love you brother”— we are all okay.  

Most people don’t leave because they want to sin— most leave because of some cognitive dissonance, something doesn’t line up for them. It's easy to get caught up in the cynicism of it.  

But it’s more fun to believe. 

I left my faith in  2019 in my head and heart for a summer.  

I discovered that not believing and doubting doesn’t change the outcome. It doesn’t change  God. It just changes me. I become more negative. More cynical and sarcastic. More selfish and in need of control.  I don’t like this version of me. 

So I woke up one morning and just decided to choose faith instead.  I chose to stay in my faith tradition. When I choose this and live this way, my life is better, more magical, more loving.  I can still have questions and things I want changed and that’s OK because I also choose faith. 

I’m going to stay— I’m going to work on change from the bottom up.  I like to think of all the blessings that have come into my life because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.   I know the Lord values loyalty. He values effort.   I’ve tasted the fruit of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I work on remembering this. 

FAITH is not about knowing. It is about making offerings, saying prayers with no quick answers, fasting for the hundredth time, and going to church to worship when you still have big questions. FAITH is messy. It isn't about checking every box, having all the answers, or seeing angels. Real FAITH, as Elder Holland taught, is always in crisis.  

Youth Camps

We had two camps this week... I went to a luxurious lodge and Wayne was with the Deacons/Teacher age boys in Goblin Valley with NO running water or toilets.  There was a ranger station 10 minutes a way that they did use the bathrooms there once in the morning and once at night, but other than that they were on their own… girls would NOT have liked this.   They slept in tents and had to drive 4 hours just to get there.  BUT...... Wayne had a great time playing steal the flag, and disc golf and hiking and doing dutch oven.  Of course, Wayne goes all out when playing...like he's still 30-- so today there is a very tired body and lots of aches and pains.

Girls Camp was a success!!! After so much planning and trying to get the YCL's to take ownership-- which is more of a challenge than I thought it would be - we CAMPED!

I asked the girls at the beginning of camp - picture yourself getting home on Friday night and your mom says how was camp? what do you want to tell her? Was it an amazing, awesome time where I got to know myself and other girls and my Savior better.... or was it boring and we did dumb things? Because you are in charge of what camp is going to be for you.

We used the scripture from Philippians as our theme–”I can do all things thru Christ which strengtheneth me.”  And really talked about trying new things and leaning on Jesus.  The sweatshirts were so darling… "I can do all things" on the back, then on the front right over the heart the words, “with Christ”. Feels like Team-Jesus!

We held a try-athalon– where we divided into 3 groups and had to try 3 things for 20 minutes and then rotate and notice what our brains were telling us..whether we could do it, or if it was embarrassing, or if feeling confident or less than… all these things we talked about after.  We had a drawing project, pickleball, and yoga/high fitness.  We also had the girls have 30 minutes of quiet meditation prayer time to notice what their brains were doing during this time as well without their phones or people to distract them and the thoughts that would float thru. ..boring, what am I doing, this is dumb type thoughts or I love journaling and praying and being with myself. We talked about how the brain has a negative bent in an effort to keep us safe and alive, but if we can not just accept the first thought as true, but instead move to a second thought of I can do this…life only gets better.  We talked about talking to your brain and not just listening to it and to try to be like Jesus…try , try , try. 

Basically I life coached the crap out of camp…it was fun. 

I also made an "I can" a can with eyes on it - that we passed around saying things we can do for ourselves, for others, for Jesus.

We were in a luxurious cabin that sleeps 30 in beds and has 7 bathrooms… so we did not have to rough it AT ALL. The food was great and there was zero drama!  

I was so glad to be able to be a part of this this summer.. I haven’t served with the young women for over 10 years.  

One of my BFF's Kimi Farley is the YW president and she does a remarkable job with this group of introverted girls.  She shows them love and sits and talks to them one on one like they are the only and the most interesting person in the room.  I applaud her leadership and compassion.

This cloud is God's Finger!!!  

 

Let summer begin!

I took some of the grands to the Chalk art festival in down town Bountiful.  We have done this for 3 years now and our tradition is to see all the artists, draw a little of our own...and then head to 7-11 for Slurpees. 

Alfie is 9 and loving screens and video games.  He's really smart and does well in school.  Tayla finished up her first year at a spanish immersion charter school and she loved it.  She is the kindest, most aware kid in her class and helps every one around her.  She got a great attitude award that was only given to 10 students in her whole school.  Poppy and Lady just finished up their preschool.  Lady is very verbal and has big emotions and loves being in charge.  Lady said for her preschool graduation that she wants to be a mommy when she grows up.. Poppy wants to be a face painter.  Poppy is all legs.  She has adhd-- and when she seems she isn't focusing, she really is, she is just easily distracted.  Poppy loves to talk, as well, and will sing and share all of her thoughts.  Elsie- is a darling 3 year old..she will also sing me a song at the drop of a hat.  Her favorite is, "I'm so blessed..."  she really likes the "Halelujah I'm blessed" part at the end.  Elsie is easy and creative and loves doing everything her sisters do.  Curious George is a busy almost 2 year old.  He is learning to communicate and is very fun to engage with.  

I took Liz to see Tina Turner the musical for her birthday this year.  We went to dinner and then the show.  We loved it.  It's so sad to see how hard people's lives are-- Tina -- yet they are great artists after all.