Saturday, September 30, 2017

Getting out of Comfort zone

Getting out of my comfort zone is a challenge.  I always have the best intentions.  I sign up , I recruit people to join me and I get my “costume” together… I arrive at whatever function, then something happens. I come up with all sorts of excuses as to why I’m not going to do it.  I’m too old. I’m too heavy. I don’t know enough. People will look at me. I  will be judged. I don’t want to embarrass my family.…Oh the list goes on.  But  if I can hold off these voices and move past my inner critic I almost always have a great time, and I come away feeling empowered because I did it.

Yesterday the same thing happened.  I wanted to go to an event that Cents of Style was putting on including shopping, giveaways, speaker Alison Faulkner of the Alison show..a podcast I listen to diligently…  talk about women empowerment, , plus an opportunity to do High Fitness with the founder Emily Nelson and food from the Village Baker.  All of the things I love.  But once I got there, I kept thinking of all sorts of excuses to leave. …to not get in my work out gear, to book out early… I was so glad I got one of my BFF’s Kathleen to go with me.  She is a gung-ho kind of gal. I call her fearless, because she doesn’t have any walls that keep her from doing things.  She is phenomenal physically, spiritually and helps me emotionally  stay on track. Having Kathleen there kept me there.
It was so interesting to hear Cents of Style founder talk about walls that we build up that stop us…all based on fear.   She had a lady from the audience come up to tell what her “wall” is that she wants to tear down.  It was an older lady  ( one of 6 of us there…everyone else was 20-30 somethings)  saying she was afraid that her kids would learn about her past and not love her.  WHAT?!?  Her girls were there and it was an amazing thing to be a part of. It felt like an Oprah moment.   It was  also empowering to listen to Alison speak about building  and just starting something good. She did this all while in her work out clothes, including a jewel encrusted sports bra—she’s got guts.  She has always been about loving your body no matter what size, and I love this about her.   I kept thinking of my Souls sisters Retreats and how grateful I am  to be “freaking” doing it.   I was so glad I got my  work out stuff on including my High Fitness hat and participated in the music and the dance that is high fitness.  It feels so good to move and I’m blessed to have a body that I can do this. 
I even ran into my two nieces, Becca and Rachel…they know how to get involved in a good thing.   The food after by Village Baker was delicious too. 


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So….. I got out of my comfort zone.  I silenced my inner critic.  Tried something new and had a great time.   

Thursday, September 28, 2017

My favorite women's conference talk 2017

Sister Eubank shared five things women can do to “play our part” in the building of the kingdom on the earth.
1. Be righteous.
“Being righteous doesn’t mean being perfect or never making mistakes,” Sister Eubank said. “It means developing an inner connection with God, repenting of our sins and mistakes, and freely helping others. Women who have repented have changed the course of history.”
2. Be articulate.
“Being articulate means to clearly express how you feel about something and why,” Sister Eubank taught.
“Use your voice and your power to articulate what you know and feel — on social media, in quiet conversations with your friends, when you are chatting with your grandchildren. Tell them why you believe, how you know, what it feels like, if you ever doubted, how you got through it, what Jesus Christ means to you.”
3. Be different.
“Innovation and creation are spiritual gifts,” she said. "When we keep our covenants, it may make us different from others in our culture and society, but it gives us access to inspiration so we can think of different solutions, different approaches, different applications. We aren't always going to fit in with the world, but being different in positive ways can be a lifeline to others who are struggling.”
4. Be distinct.
Distinct means to be recognizably well-defined, Sister Eubank taught.
“The restored gospel is recognizably well defined,” Sister Eubank said. “We have to be distinct about how we follow it. … We need to practice living the gospel before the emergency so that, unafraid, we will be strong enough to help when others are being swept away by the current.”
5. Do numbers one through four on the list in happy ways.
“Being happy doesn’t mean to slap a plastic smile on your face no matter what is going on,” she said. “But it does mean keeping the laws of God and building and lifting others. When we build, when we lift the burden of others, it blesses our lives in ways our trials cannot take away.”
Sister Eubank reminded listeners that there is an energy that comes from happiness and optimism that blesses and builds everyone around them.
“Any small thing you do to light real happiness in others shows that you are already carrying the torch President Kimball lit,” she said.
Just as President Kimball invited women to be a part of the building of the kingdom in the last days, Sister Eubank invited the younger generations, “the future leaders in this Church” to carry the light forward and be the fulfillment of this prophesy.
“I appeal to each of you to put yourself in a place where you can feel the generous love God has for you,” she said. “You cannot put yourself beyond the reach of that love. When you feel His love, when you love Him, you will repent and keep His commandments. When you keep His commandments, He can use you in His work. His work and glory is the exaltation and eternal life of women and men.
“The prophets are calling on us, my sisters. Will you be righteous? Will you articulate your faith? Can you bear being distinct and different? Will your happiness in spite of your trials draw others who are good and noble and who need your friendship? Will you turn on your light? I testify that the Lord Jesus Christ will go before us and be in our midst.”


It was as if Sister Eubanks spoke directly to me.  She voiced some of the exact thoughts I've been thinking.   She asked some really poignant questions to help me evaluate where I am in life and gave such beautiful challenges.  I loved her story about the 80-person "human chain" to help those caught in the current at the beach. It made me tear up to think about how that human chain relates so well to life in general.  We need to be life-lines to others, to reach out and love and build and lift.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Free Agency

Laila was in her first car accident.   She was a little stressed, cried a bit, spoke to the police officer clearly...and realized that it's all survivable.  Chalk it up to experience.

Laila and I were driving in Farmington wanting to turn into Station Park.  Laila put her blinker on to turn into the first drive way, and I said, no let's pull in down there pointing a 100 feet farther down the street.  While her blinker was on a black car that was waiting at a stop sign pulled out in front of her.   Laila took her blinker off and now was going forward, when a gold car thinking Laila was still turning, pulled out and hit Laila on the front side bumper of my Yelo Car.  It was slow motion, crazy.  No one was hurt, both cars were going quite slow...just my car was hurt with $2500 in damage.  (Now the insurance companies have to fight it out )

Laila and the other teen age driver both screamed a swear word...and then just sat in silence.  I screamed..."brake brake..i can't believe this" as I heard my car being crunched.   Laila was impressed that no swear words escaped my lips.  I don't even think like that....

But Lessons learned....... I took Laila's free agency away insisting that she drive farther down the street to turn in...and when she obeyed and did that we got in a crash.  Had I left her to her own agency none of this would have happened.

So many times in my kids lives I want to take their agency away because I think I know better.  I want to tell them who to be friends with, where to work, where to go to school, how to drive, what classes to take etc... but all these choices really need to be in their own hands...just as they were in mine.  

As parents it's easy for us to see the mistakes out kids are going to make, even before they make them.  But the growth comes in the making of the mistake, the regrouping and learning from it and trying better the next time.

Now... who's to say had Laila turned in where she wanted to we wouldn't have gotten in an accident?? ...and then I would be saying, she should have listened to me....but that's not what happened.... and still her free agency should trump my bossiness.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

It's raining $

 Laila went a full year with NO social media.  We challenged her a year ago to see if she could make this happen... it was all 12 months or nothing for a 100 bucks a month and SHE DID IT!   She celebrated today by opening up a bank account, getting a debit card, paying tithing and  planning on where to spend her money.    She also got on Social media, but she says she will take it slow and be safe and vigilant.







In other news... it's the big BYU vs. Utah rivalry football game tonight...and Wayne and Laila  are representing the U today and always.




Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Tru got Drugged and Mugged in Tel Aviv


Truman got drugged and mugged in Tel Aviv
Yep that’s correct.
My boy lived to tell about it with only his cell phone  and some jewelry stolen and a few bumps and bruises. 
Truman flew into Tel Aviv, Israel for his first time.  HE went out to dinner at a restaurant/bar with his crew mates.  After much peer pressure from the crew and the bar staff to have a drink, just one drink..he succumbed and had a cocktail.  He said , he started feeling weird almost immediately and excused himself to go to the bathroom, but before he left, he handed his wallet to his crew mate and told him to pay for his drink.  Tru said the bathroom was up two flights of stairs and down a long hallway and he can’t remember much about the next 6 hours of his night.  The next memory he has is of running away from two men in a deserted market alley way…getting caught and beat up and then having his stuff taken from him. Later.. he doesn’t know how long…..He came back to and was groggy trying to figure where he was, why he didn’t have his phone or wallet and couldn’t remember the name of his hotel.  He knew it was on the water and so headed in that direction.  He stumbled back into his hotel in the morning and was met by his FRANTIC crew mates who had been up looking for and worrying about him all night.  They said when he didn’t come back from the bathroom , they went in search of him and knew he wouldn’t just leave with out his wallet.  They asked around, got a pic off of facebook and showed it around, tried to file a police report and  hotel report and just tried to get some help.  They figured the bar staff had some sort of ring of drugging drinks, then mugging people on their way out for their money and phones.    They have flagged the hotel, bar and restaurant on the DELTA app so others won’t have to experience this.   
Tru was blessed and watched over.  I told him it’s because this momma prays for his well being every day and sends her angels to care for him. 
He was blessed, that he left his wallet with his crew so that didn't get stolen and  his ID and credit cards etc...   He was blessed, that he had a crew that was concerned about him and his whereabouts.  He was blessed that he didn’t get his face messed up, just bruised on arms and stomach, neck etc.. He was blessed that he wasn’t knifed or killed or stolen…so many horrible things could have happened, but didn’t.  He was blessed that he had a laptop –that I had just given him—in his hotel room, so he could get on facebook and let us know what was going on and still be connected.  He was blessed that he can’t actually remember what happened, so he doesn’t need to have nightmares about it.
He is back in NYC and has gone to the dr’s to be checked out.  
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Tru has learned some things….he won’t be accepting any drinks except from bottles that he personally opens.  He won’t be going off on his own even to a restaurant bathroom.   He will be more cautious with what he does around the world…and that’s ok.  Tru is still my adventurer and I don’t want his spirit dashed, but I do want his lessons to be learned so he doesn’t have to repeat this again and again. 

Saturday, September 2, 2017

September is the month of Kindess

Two years ago today Dad left us...he took one last breath...we thought he was joking..we all laughed and then realized, nope this is really it...and he was gone.  It was a sad, relief filled , beautiful time.

Two years ago it felt like I couldn't catch my breath, that I couldn't put one foot in front of the other. that I was in a fog.  It's amazing how time heals, how time helps, how time just keeps moving forward with or with out my people.

And the Cole family just "keeps on keeping on."  I sing this in my current show 9 to 5 the Musical, and it's so true.

We still have fun at Bear Lake.  We still get together at least once a month to catch up on what's going on with everyone and we still treasure the lessons our parents taught us.  

Just like May is all about Sheri with her death (May 21 ) and birth days ( May 9 ) ... September is all about my dad with his death ( Sept 2nd) and birth days ( Sept 25).

My challenge this month is to be more KIND.  Extra KIND.  KINDER than I ever knew I could be. I'm doing this in honor of my dad..one of the kindest persons I ever knew.