Thursday, November 20, 2008

3 Docs

We went to 3 doctors on Tuesday.
Monson and I went to the dermatologists for mole and skin issues.
Truman went to the Dentist for wisdom teeth and canker issues.
Then at 5:00 that night -- Laila said, "Mom, look at the weird stuff on my tongue." I screamed as I gazed at the large red bumps on the back of her white tongue.
We raced to First Med and found out that she has major Strep....

We went to 3 doctors in one day! What is up with that. This is not planned into my monthly budget. These equal 4 co-pays and $160.00 in prescriptions, add Wayne's bills and Laila's bills and Landon's bills to that, and ..... and all I can say, is thank goodness for Insurance.

Insurance is my friend.
I pay a little bit at the beginning and a little bit more in the middle, then my insurance kicks in and pays the rest.

I wish there was other insurances in life, like Food Insurance or Diet Insurance.
I eat this now, and even though I eat the rest, someone else gets to have the calories.

I Know I'm always reaching for a food or fat analogy....but it would work. All those people starving in Africa can have some of my extra calories and poundages that I don't want to pay for.

The problem is...I'm always searching for analogies as an excuse for not doing what I know I should be doing. MODERATION and EXERCISE.

3 docs in one day....

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

My Foodie Friend

My foodie friend has a birthday next week, and we went to lunch to celebrate it this week, since I'll be in Asia. ... sounding like a world traveler makes me so happy.

I love this woman-- I have won the friend lottery and she is in the POT.

Reasons why I love SI

She knows her way around a kitchen!!
I love her eccentricities with germs and with food places. Where she will and will not eat is fascinating.
She knows how to do everything just "so." (Except she doesn't sew....interesting?)
She is a huge U of U fan and wears red the entire week before a big home game.
She makes the best dinners. There is always a loud cheer from my boys when Si brings the food, or when we get the occasional invite to her home.
I love her recipe blog-- it inspires and infuriates me all at the same time.
I love how she tells a story.
She has a great memory for details.
She has self control...Si can actually order a decadent tiramisu and only eat a few bites, "because it's too rich" and save the rest for later.
She is a giver-- time, talents and food.
She has amazing patience and grace with her children and with the G-man.
She is spiritual and has a strong testimony of the gospel.- she is my tissue supplier for the "weepy" Sunday meetings.
I love how she dresses--she looks great in Black. (seriously)
She knows how to eat all day long and still stay thin. ( This is a mystery to me.)
Si puts up with my weirdness and even laughs at what I say.

So, while SI is celebrating her "Holy Holidays"-- Thanksgiving and Birthday combined,
I'll take a moment of silence and pray and say "thanks for great friends," then I'll eat something weird in her honor.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Sun worshiper

Went to the Dermatologist today to have a hard crusty mole on my chest and a weird wart something on the side of my nose checked out-- taken off to be exact. Both appear to be skin cancer--- what? Skin Cancer. That cancer word conjures up all sorts of scary images.
The Doc said it was good I came in when I did. Biopsies will tell us more. Stay out of the sun.

I love the sun.
I'm not a sun worshiper-- but I love the sun.
I'm not a lay-in-the-sun-with-baby-oil- on-my-body-holding-a-piece-of-tin-foil-gal -- but I love the sun.
I love to be warm.
I love getting into a stifling hot car.
Summer is my favorite time of year.
My birthday is in July.
I love closing my eyes and turning to the sun and letting it warm my eye lids . (I love the orangey colors it produces in my head.)
I love swimming and being around a swimming pool.
I love weeks spent outside in Bear Lake and Lake Powell.
I love Beach vacations and Cruises.
I think you are probably getting how much I love the sun......
So just thinking about the "staying out of the sun" directive by my Doc., is kil-ling me.

It's so interesting how past choices affect current situations.
Past sun choices make it so I have parts of my body cut out.
Past food choices make it so I have parts of my body chub out.

The sun isn't all bad-- being in the sun in moderation and sun screen will help out a lot.
Food isn't all bad either-- eating in moderation and not having food be my dr- ug of choice will help a lot, too.

The choice is up to me.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Early Thanksgiving

Our China buds had Thanksgiving dinner yesterday for their families. They didn't want to miss out on Thanksgiving while in China, and have their children all sad-- so they did it early. We did not. Thank goodness I have an extended family that will take care of it for me, while I'm away having fish heads and scorpion on a stick.

(My kids weren't too sad to hear that we wouldn't be here for Thanksgiving because we told them we were going to China over Christmas, which caused a big hallabaloo-- so when we said, "Just joking, we are going over Thanksgiving instead," they didn't complain too much.)

We are having Thanksgiving tonight -- which means leftovers at Belnap's , so I get my Thanksgiving dinner after all, by default.

I love Thanksgiving.
I love the pie part ( of course) and the grateful part and the food part.
In the spirit of the season.....
Here is my SICK OF CHUB THANKFUL list:
1. I'm thankful I don't have to make Thanksgiving dinner-- no 60 pounds of mashed potatoes this year.
2. I'm thankful I've only gained back 3 pounds.....okay 4, but who's counting, since September.
3. I'm thankful I have my Wayne who keeps me on track with my crazy "bribes."
4. I'm thankful for my kitchen. I don't have to cook in it, because it's not remodeled-- and it's not remodeled because I haven't lost my final pounds, and I'm not losing my final pounds because I don't like to cook. Circular reasoning is great!
5. I'm thankful for....legs to walk, and arms to wave and a face that yawns, and a body that moves and choreographs.... and sleeps.
6. I'm thankful for my computer that I can get on and blog to my hearts content.
7. I'm thankful Laila is doing great-- and is almost back to "normal."( this is a relative term-- and none of her relatives are normal.)
8. I'm thankful for my sweet life.
9. I'm thankful for chocolate.
10. I'm thankful.

I'm off to have my left over helpings of turkey and yams. I'll be thinking of you all next Thursday. BE THANKFUL!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Extrinsic Rewards

I fear I've rained on my weight-woed blogger chicka's parade.

She is trying to be extrinsically motivated, by setting the self-bribe of getting a lap top if she loses her final 25 lbs.
It sounds great!
I'm excited for her if it works, but I know from my past experiences that this doesn't work for me.
Oh, I've promised myself all kinds of things; trips, outfits, massages, pedicures. Then I find that I just go on trips, buy outfits, have massages and get pedicures whether I lose weight or not. I even had Wayne bribe me with a kitchen remodel last year if my scale showed 140 pounds by January.
I still don't have a new kitchen.......hmmmm??
Why can't I do it?
I get all excited for about 20 days, then just wear out. Then, I get mad at Wayne for even suggesting a kitchen remodel reward, when it was all my idea in the first place! I tell myself, "I deserve a new kitchen if I weigh 140 or 160!!- Why is Wayne being so rude? Can you believe him?"
Crazy town!
I hope that the reward system works for other people but it usually ends up feeling like a punishment for me.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Cooking almost killed me!

I'm reflecting on the GREAT ROAST BEEF tragedy of 2006.
What is this, you ask? Well, this could be one of the many reasons why I gave up cooking and look upon cooking in general as painful....hmmm?

I'm reminded of this tragedy because it happened in November and my friend Si spoke of it recently-- she is either psychic or psycho.
I easily forget about unpleasant experiences, hence, I went through child birth 4 times, before I got smart and adopted. But this unpleasant not easily forgotten.

Cue the spooky music and swirly tv screen as we go back in 2006...

I had just returned from a fun filled weekend to NYC with friends ( Farleys and Fowers) and I was trying to be a "Mom" again and have my children love me by cooking a real Sunday dinner. I raced home from church to get my roast beef out of the oven. My house was smelling just like heaven-- I had some early Christmas tunes on....I had changed into my velour jammies and I was feeling pretty good about myself.

Afterall, I am the "Ultimate Mother of Zion" -- just look at my License Plate.

I opened the oven door, took out the big pot of roast beef with boiling hot au jus-- and kicked the oven door shut. I had done this maneuver hundreds of times. I happen to be very coordinated....but not today. Today I was tired. I hit the pan on the lip of the stove and tipped the contents of the roast beef and juice all over my thighs----- Did I tell you it was boiling hot?

I shiver in pain just thinking about this.....hence, my not thinking about painful experiences motto.



No one was home.
I had left church early. I knew I was too tired after the NYC trip, and would have slept through SS and RS anyway... so this was the searing punishment I deserved, right?

My being alone was probably a good thing-- I would have scarred my children for life had they experienced their crazy pain filled screaming mommy. I didn't know what to do. How to help
myself. I ran over the hot au jus to the carpet , ripped off my melted velour pants and ran up to the bath tub; filled it with cold water and knelt and screamed in the water as I tried to splash it up onto my thighs.
Any ER trip, morphine, bandaids, tears, salve and knees filled with 2nd and 3rd degree burns later and I was back home.

I would post my burned knees pictures, but they are just gross. I had to heal and salve and scrub and d r- ug myself for about 6 weeks before my bandaids finally came off.

I got a lot of RS dinners because of my pain.....and my house cleaned a time or two, and I had some faith promoting experiences along the way. My knees are mostly fine but it took awhile before I wanted Roast Beef in my home again.

Can you believe the lengths I will go to, to not cook?

Friday, November 14, 2008

Grandma Butters

My Grandma is 93 years old....93! I know I've been writing a lot about age lately, but people around me keep having birthdays....what's up with that?

Anyway, she turned 93 this week.

Grandpa passed away 16 years ago and Grandma still lives alone in the home they built in the 1950's. It's a beautiful home with a swimming pool in the back yard that I have played in, all summer long, for my entire life! We always shared the greatest food around the swimming pool, especially at the 4 summer holidays: Memorial day, 4th of July, Pioneer day and Labor Day. These are the "Holy Holidays" for me, and they wouldn't be the same without Grandma and her pool.
A fond memory I have as a child, is swimming in the pool on a hot summer day and Grandma bringing out hot ,out of the oven, raisin oatmeal cookies. I recall eating as many of these as I wanted, standing in the pool with the chlorine water dripping into my mouth, mixed with the hot cookie. MMMM... it just makes me smile, even now.

My Grandma is an amazing woman. I know she had an entire life before I was born, but this is what I know about her.

Grandma has always been a great dresser! She sang in a quartet and had traveled all over the Mountain-West putting on shows. She wore sparkley, glamorous costumes. She always looked so put together with the perfect hair, makeup and jewelry. Grandma also danced with my Grandpa and did floor shows and put on dance festivals for the church. I loved watching them waltz around and laugh and gaze at each other.
I inherited these quartet/dance costumes about 20 years ago. For one of our cruises, we (Me, Karen and Christine) wore her 60 's outfits for the formal dinner time. -- it was so fun.

Grandma was choir director in her ward for over 40 years-- talk about a life time calling. She had a grand ward choir. Every seat was always filled and extra chairs added in. They would totally do productions at Easter and Christmas time. She had special lighting installed in the chapel, that was built while she was in charge, so they could do mood lighting for the programs. The choir even had individual lights that clipped on the choir music folders, so we could see to sing. I say we, because she invited me to sing in her ward choir for about 10 years. I loved singing under her. She was so expressive and a great musician. Grandma has always been a great support for my singing and drama endeavors. One of my biggest fans.

My grandma is a marvelous cook. She makes the best shredded roast beef and homemade rolls. Grandma has always loved roast beef, strawberries, ginger cream cookies and almonds-- oh, and "sweet aloha." ( Diet Pepsi) These are the foods that I relate with her. She cooked a lot when she was raising her 7 kids and 60 some odd grandkids. Now we take turns cooking for her. It really is an honor to do this. She is so appreciative and welcoming. She will even turn off her FOX news or Matlock and sit and visit.
Grandma will tell it like it is. She doesn't mince words and has an opinion about the world around her and what's happening with current events. She loves the Jazz and a good football game too.
I always wanted a daughter to name after my Grandma.... after 4 boys, I got my wish when Laila blessed our family. Laila is just as much a spitfire as the woman she is named after.
My Grandma has taught me to love-- always-- unconditionally.
People are more important than things.... and...
Gratitude is the key to a happy life.

I pray I can be as healthy and Happy as my sweet Grandma when I turn 93!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Big Risk

I haven't stepped on my scale since the end of September.....I don't want to be faced with my ballooning reality...
Since leaving the wagon, I have eaten my way through Wayne's operation, Laila's Emergency stay, Halloween, a family wedding and many birthdays.... and lets just say I'm good at eating to avoid my life. more denial. I'm going to leave the computer right now, run upstairs and tackle, er, I mean, jump, on the scale!!

This goes against everything I believe in. First, I am not na- k- ed and I'm not immediately out of bed having gone potty. I am dressed in my walking clothes- brown Velour pants, Ogden 1/2 marathon shirt, sports bra, underwear, running shoes, glasses; I have eaten breakfast--two cookies, an apple and a large water; and I have a full bladder.

But, I'm throwing all caution to the wind and here I go.......

Did you miss me?
Did you hear the scream coming from my upstairs bathroom?

Well it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I am 5 pounds up from my original loss of 8 pounds-- but if I subtract all of the above mentioned from the scale equation, I'm probably only 3 pounds up--- so still a total loss of 5 pounds from where I started in August!! Diet Math is hard.

Let's hear a Yeah for ME!!
Mr. Scale didn't get the best of me today.

What I've learned....avoidance leads to rationalization which leads to self delusion and finally elation.

I avoided the scale. I rationalized that I didn't need to know my weight-- what does it matter anyway? I kept my self in a state of delusion, just wearing my elastic waist clothes and finally I was elated when I jumped on the scale and was only up 3 pounds after 6 "hard" weeks.

Life is funny.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I'm tempted to write something negative and dark....but remembering my November plan of loving myself, I'm staying away from the blues. I'm forcing myself to cheer's what a good parent would tell me.

I have a friend who turns 40 today....WOW...40...ah, yes, I remember it well. That was the year Wayne and I looked at each other and said, " for our birthdays should we go on a cruise or adopt? " Okay there was a bit more conversation and prayer than just this, but in a nutshell that's what happened.
It's amazing how things work out when you turn it over to the Lord.
We were blessed with Laila a few months later-- and my body has yet to recover.
Ah, yes....40....
At 40 I had a "shape." I have a shape now, too-- it's just square and pudgy.

Anyway, back to the positive.

Kimi is turning 40 and I love her. She has always been so great about getting older. She relishes it. She loves finding the newest wrinkle or the gray strand of hair. It might have something to do with the fact that she is constantly mistaken for a teenager....but she is getting older and is fine with it.

"It's a sign of wisdom and maturity. These wrinkles don't just happen, you have to work for them. You have to go through some stuff to get to this old. Wrinkly faces are a sign of character."
I can hear her say these things right now.....

I used to shake my head at her, and think she just doesn't know....but she does know. She is wise even with her one wrinkle.
So I celebrate Kimi today and her wisdom.
Here's to getting older!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Dreadmill

I love walking with my friends, but when winter and cold weather comes, these walks become fewer and farther between.
Even though it's only November, because of the cold weather and my driving Laila to school now, instead of her walking-- my walking outside time is severely limited and I have resorted to using my treadmill in the dungeon, that's my basement.

It's appropriate that the exercise would take place in a dungeon, don't you think?

I can handle the "dreadmill" for about 20 minutes at a time. 20 minutes that feels like an eternity!
20 minutes to channel surf and try to not think that I am walking/running/climbing in place.
20 minutes alone with the constant whirring of the mill---

When I tread the mill I feel like a rat on a wheel. AAARGHH!!

I'm trying to come up with new inspiring ways, to make my stay on the treadmill last longer.

I've tried the TV thing-- it's okay....I'm better if a movie is on that I'm interested in-- but it's still a struggle.

I'm thinking of mixing it up when I watch TV... ..for example,
1. During commercials I will raise the incline and imagine I'm in the mountain, climbing up to Elephant rock, be very dramatic about it....over act the panting and needing water part.
2. When ever the words, : Obama, recession, weather or traffic come up (As I watch the morning news shows)-- I get to jump off of the treadmill and run to the top of my stairs, have a little snack , and then back down.

Break it up a bit.

I may even add some costumes to this routine-- and a song or two.....just a thought.

I know if I do the treadmill....I can eat my cheese at the end, just like a rat!
That's why I do it....I love Cheese!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Hair Color Diet

I got my hair colored today!
Shout Hallelujah!
As part of my new diet to appreciate myself.....I got colored....and not a moment too soon.
I was really going gray. I didn't look too badly in the house, at night, without too many lights on....but outside in the day, I was gray, gray gray!
Laila kept pointing it out to me.
"Mom, let me see.....yep it's gray." She would hold my head and stare at my hair line as if reading a crystal ball.
(One more step to feeling better about myself.)
It's amazing how the little things in life thrill me......and the big things too, don't get me wrong.
I love getting my hair done. I love feeling pampered and having my head rubbed.
My bro- in-law Gary has been doing my hair for over 20 years. I love him.
He is a great philosopher and hair-guy.
He had a salon once where he did hair and Marcie did nails and all was well.....except not exactly what they wanted to be doing. He got hired away by some big hair companies to be in charge or product development and marketing. Now he travels all over the globe-- Europe etc...and shows color techniques and works on marketing strategies for people in Poland and Germany and such. It's amazing.
I'm lucky though, he still does my hair.
I have to be flexible....I wait around long enough for him to be in town and then get on his very busy schedule . It's worth it to me though. I get colored and my ills get "cured."
Being a hair dresser actually runs in my family. My Bro in law, my Uncle, my Aunt, many neices and even my Grandpa are all Hair dressers.
My Grandpa Butters had a salon from the 30's in Green River Wyoming to the 40's,50's.60's.and 70's with a Salon in downtown SLC-- across from Temple Square.
It was always a treat to go into Grandpa's hair salon as a little and get my hair done.
Grandpa was a "feel good" person--always building me up. I loved him so much. I miss him.
Even on this rainy day, with my sick daughter home from school, my work undone and dishes in the sink, I'm feeling pretty good about myself......thinking about the kindness of my Bro- in- law and my Grandpa.
I'm looking pretty good too.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Cheers for Veggies

Life is good!
Life is sweet!
I'm going to eat veggies
before I eat treats!!

(A New Cheer I've been trying out.)

I'm trying to find new ways to get my veggies.

I actually like veggies-- I just don't like preparing them. I like most veggies- even squash, but like my problem with fruit....I want my veggies to taste the same every time I eat them. I want my peas to always taste like peas and my carrots to be sweet not woody and always taste like what I want a carrot to taste like. "Eehhh...what's up with that doc?"
I have a love affair with salads-- I will order a salad everytime we go out to eat, and really enjoy it. I actually enjoy the salad toppings the most : cheese, croutons, bacon,fruit, craisens, nuts, yummy dressing, and if I have to eat some lettuce with my toppings, that's okay by me.
I was feeling bad about not having enough veggies, so I tried the Greens to Go drink from's great if you like the taste of silage or cold pea soup.
So I guess it's not that great.
Now I've decided to get my vegetables the old fashioned way--V8 juice. I drink one every morning and feel pretty dang good about myself.

My motto concerning vegetables: Eat up-- then I can treat up!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Funny Exercise story--not mine

Dear Diary,

For my 60th birthday this year, my daughter Rachel (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.


Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess -- blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups (although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around). This is going to be a fantastic week!!


I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air -- then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!!

It's a whole new life for me.


The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was okay as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.


Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed, and her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late -- it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she wasn't looking, I ran and hid in the restroom.

She sent some skinny b*tch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.


I hate that witch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader! If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps!

And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?


Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice, wondering why I didn't show up today. Just hearing her message made me want to smash the machine with my fist. But since I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote control, I ended up catching 11 straight hours of the Weather Channel instead.


I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Rachel (the little snot) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!

Friday, November 7, 2008


Yeah ME--- there that's my cheer for the day!

I'm connecting with other weight-woe'd bloggers and I have a new friend who has set out a list of rules to live by in trying to lose the pounds. I totally agreed with her list and realize I struggle with the following:

8) Don't eat it if you don't enjoy it. If you're going to eat junk, eat good junk but less of it. Savor it. Let the high quality chocolate melt slowly in your mouth. Slow your eating down in general. It can take up to 20 minutes for your brain to receive the message from your stomach that you're full. Give it time.

9) Enjoy your body as it is. Make sure you have an outfit or two that fit you well as you are now. Don't keep looking at your "skinny clothes" wistfully. Find something that makes you feel good now, in this moment. Your baggy old sweatpants might not be tight on you, but they probably make you feel like crap.

10) Feeling like crap is not an option. This isn't about punishing yourself for getting fat. This isn't about beating on yourself till you get to where you "should" be. This is about treating yourself right. You are amazing already, and you have the potential to be even more so. Take that leap. Treat yourself as if you're already who you want to be, and the end result might surprise you.

So this goes totally well with my "diet" this month, and the idea of parenting myself.

I actually made myself eat an apple today, because that's what a mom does. I even told myself I couldn't have the cookie, until after I ate something healthy.
I've got this parent thing down.
Now if my kids would just listen to me.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Person in Oven

I don't know if you can read the sign that appears on my oven lately, but it reads,
"Person in OVEN--Don't OPEN!!"
The first time I saw this note, I laughed.
What is a person doing in my oven?
Then I realized it's because Addison is baking his clay faces in the oven and if we open the door before they are done, they will c r -ack.

There is an analogy in here somewhere, somehow....I don't know if I can make the leap, but I'll try.

I'm half baked....I need to stay in my "oven" longer , that's why I'm so cracked.
The oven is the challenges-the heat of this life...."the actual hotness of battle."
When the heat is on, do I give my all? OR I just bask in the warmness and don't do 'nuthin?
I've tried all the actual ways to lose weight( for a few weeks at a time) , but seem to bask more in doing nothing, or eating everything, than in giving my all.

So for The month of November---I'm going to give it my all!
I'm up to the challenge of another diet.
I'm going on the "love my body" diet.
I'm going to stand in front of the mirror every day, clothed or ...which ever is easiest, and tell myself how awesome I am.
I'm going to love myself into submission.
Take over the parent role for this body of mine...protect it, feed it, make sure it gets enough sleep and water. I'm going to make sure that no one makes fun of it ( me) or talks bad about it,
( me again). I'm going to give it treats like pedicures, and hair color and hot-tub baths and trips.

During this season of gratefulness and thanksgiving , I'm going to embrace myself and rejoice.

I've tried all the other diets...maybe this one will work.

Who wants to join me in the oven?....hey there's a person in here!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

PERKS to Walking

I love to go on walks, vigorous or not, with my friends in the mornings.
I love the chat that goes along with the walk-- it's like therapy with legs. We have solved the world's problems, diagnosed illnesses, cried over our families, debated candidates, given movie reviews, planned vacations , discussed last night's dinner and what is happening with our day to day lives.

I try to walk in good weather and in bad. I want to do this outside with my peeps, because it's better than being on the dreaded treadmill alone--- or the "dreadmill" as my friend calls it.

One time, while, I mean, walking quickly-trying to keep our hearts rate up and pumping our arms- on the Boulevard with the ladies, my 22 year old son drove by with his window down , honked his horn and called out, "Hey Hotties." We laughed and shrugged it off. But it did put a smile on all of our faces.
We have heard other honks and "cat calls" while on our walks in the past, but we didn't think they were for us.
NOW we take every honk we can get!
We accept the Hottie honk, the Hottie whistle and really any random noise we take as a "Hottie" appreciation.
Tree limb breaks-- that was a Hottie break!
Car skids around the corner....that was a Hottie skid!
Car door slams....Hottie slam!
You get the idea.
This new Hottie option builds us up and helps us feel better about dragging our pa-tooties up and down the road.
Quite the perk!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Chocolate Gift

My Si-borg friend thought I should broaden my dark chocolate samplings and got me a Starbucks Dark.... She is soooo nice.

I thanked her profusely and got into my car where I snarffed down the Starbucks Dark in a matter of minutes....eating quickly, but trying to savor the taste on my tongue...couldn't get enough...kept going, one bite after another.

When I arrived in my driveway, I checked the mirror, brushed away the crumbs off my chin and tried to hide the evidence. (Trash can outside. ) This is what all closet eaters do....if you haven't figured me out by now, I'm a closet eater.

I loved that dark bar.
Loved it.
I thought about it through out my day, and felt a satisfied glow each and every time.

Hours pass.

I was washing my face in my "white night" outfit-- when I looked at my cleavage area and saw dark spots all over my underwear. I was looked like ...I don't remember bleeding. On closer inspection, it was melted chocolate droppings.
I looked like a dalmation.

I laughed, as I cleaned myself up, and thought about the Starbuck's Dark again, with a satisfied glow.

I wonder when the Dark chocolate bar ends up on my fat white thighs if I will have the same glow of satisfaction?

Chocolate, the gift that keeps on giving.

Good times.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Food is my Frenemy

There is method in my non-cooking madness.

My boys will never say they miss their mother's cooking when they go away to school or on missions. My boys will eat school lunch, and appreciate it. My boys will go to the MTC and actually like the food. They will go on a foreign mission and eat only rice and beans for 2 years, and think it tastes pretty good.

They will never compare their newlywed bride's cooking to their mothers either.
You are welcome, future daughter's in law.

I'm doing a service for them and to their future.

I'm for well rounded boys who are just happy to have food in front of them.

I do make some food really well. Monson loves my Chocolate chip cookie dough, not the cookies, just the dough. And Laila has bragged to many friends about her mother's melted cheese "x" bread. (it's microwaved melted cheese, that is cut into an x-shape before served. I know all the tricks.)
I could write a cook book with all my secret recipes. Okay, maybe a flier with all my secret recipes...maybe a post-it?

You get the idea.

I know I used to like cooking.
In High School I subscribed to Bon Apetite, and would fall asleep at nights reading recipes.
I was in a recipe club once when I was first married-- for family style recipes. I really just wanted to get together with friends and chat and eat something besides Ramen noodles.
I never made anything great... I thought the ingredients were too expensive.

Now I view food as my enemy. Not good. Well more like a "frenemy"-- I love it and ha -te it at the same time.
I need to embrace it and have it be my friend, then I can move forward. I need to start a new relationship with food.
I'm going to get better at this.
Resolution: I will buy ingredients and I will cook and I will like it and I will have food be my friend instead of my enemy!!! ( How's that for a run on sentence?)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Oct. 32nd

I have officially dubbed Nov. 1st-- Oct. 32nd. ( Call Congress and we'll get it on the calendar)
It's the Halloween Hangover day.
It truly is the day after the candy coma and spooky artifacts are still hanging out everywhere. I have 2 moldy , gross, definitely scary pumpkins on my front porch.
We have mounds and buckets and sacks of candy everywhere.
I'm still eating left over doughnuts, promising myself that I start the "diet" tomorrow.
Sounds Spooky !! This doesn't sound like November the month of gratitude at all!

Because of my sugar headache, my kids could probably ask me anything on this day and I would say yes.

"Mom can I take the car and drive it around all day?.."
"Mom, I'm getting my hair dyed blue and shaved into a mohawk."
"Why not."
"Mom can I go hang out with my questionable friends and have a sleep over?"
"Of course."
"Mom, can I have a million dollars?"
"No problem"

I really was in a fog all day long-- I blame it on the grease and the sugar.

A new official holiday has been declared!!!
-- Man, I have a headache.
Looking forward to November ...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Sugar Coma

We had doughnuts coming out of our ears and other orifices last night.
My mom went Doughnut crazy.
My kitchen was a haze of grease, flying flour and a powdered sugar cloud.

Besides the 100's of doughnuts made, we also served Chili, White Chili and Potato Cheese Soup-- with rolls -of course- (don't want to stop with the dough theme.)
We fed the extended family, neighbors, random trick or treaters, and a boat load of high school kids who showed up after the foot ball game. ( we lost)

We easily had about 100 eaters here last night. WOW!
I ate my fare share-- 10-- I was doing my part.
We sent doughnut plates home with family members and still have 18 doughnuts staring at me temptingly this morning. (I'll admit I'm eating one as I write.)

When the doughnut eating stopped, we turned the left over dough into 2 big pans of rolls, cooked off and frozen and ready to eat on Sunday.

Mom is definitely dubbed " Queen of the Dough."

Now I'm on a complete sugar high. Doughnuts are like cra - ck- co- caine for me.

IF I add up the 10 doughnuts, the 2 bowls of chili-- no roll--( I was being good), the random candy bars I threw in my mouth as the night progressed, plus the end of the "hospital treats" that I ate during the afternoon as I was cleaning my kitchen--- I easily gained 10 pounds.
A new world record for one day of eating....
Good job Melinda! You can dub me..."Queen of no control!"
I have a sugar coma.... I need to go lie down.