Tuesday, March 27, 2018

God's Plan

Life is not fair.
Laila's cute friend boy Bracken, who she is going to Prom with, his mom died this morning.  What?!?  Bracken found her.  She was complaining the night before of flu-type symptoms, felt congested etc...and then this  They will have to do an autopsy to find out what really happened.  She leaves behind a husband, 16, 9 and 6 year old.  UNFAIR.  There is no way this is God's plan.

Nephew Brian Bentley and Shanna just found out that their 3rd invitro -- frozen embryo -- didn't take.  They are not pregnant...again.  So after a ton of money and 3 failed invitros...they are still out of baby luck.  UNFAIR.  There is no way this is God's plan.

We celebrated my sister, Marcie's 57th birthday on Monday without her.  She is in heaven...we are here and Gary and kids have no Marcie and so many unfulfilled dreams.  UNFAIR.  There is no way this is God's plan.

When crap happens and it does, I'm reminded over and over how unfair life is.

We live in a fallen world with fallen bodies and fallen intellects.  It's difficult to wrap  my brain around all of this.

God's plan was not for a Florida teen to go into a school and shoot 17 people dead.
God's plan was not for 9/11 airplanes to crash into buildings
God's plan was not for the Holocaust to happen
or
for children to be shunned and put into leper colonies because they are related to someone with leprosy...a curable skin disease. 

God's plan is for us to turn to Him during times like these to find solace.  To find peace and perspective.   To find Him.

God doesn't need Marcie or Bracken's mom in heaven and he doesn't need babies not to come down to Brian and Shanna.... what he needs is for us to turn to Him when these hard things happen.  He needs us to pray and study and work through the dark times, so we can find and appreciate the light.  These hard times bring us greater understanding of the frailties  of this life and more empathy for those we walk through it with.

The stuff that happens to us is all part of free agency and experiencing life on this planet...what we make of our trials and how we help each other through and who we turn to... now that's God's plan.


God's plan for us is less about what happens in our day because we have our free agency and we are on a planet filled with people who all have their free agency.  People who make choices that ripple into our lives.  God's plan is more about turning to him in joy and in sorrow.  Expressing thanks to him for good times and for trials, both of which can help us to grow, become more Christ like and develop empathy, and staying grounded in the gospel which brings peace and perspective as we go through our day to days.  So when we say everything happens for a reason, the reason is we are on this earth going through human stuff. 

Monday, March 26, 2018

Freedom and Food

I've taken a year off of dieting...and it's been freeing and filled with weight gain.   I don't know if I can do this forever. I like the not thinking about food and calories and fats and sugar, but I don't like the extra chub.    All of my pants still fit...but I've had to get XL shirts.  I like being smaller and I've yet to figure out how to stay slim and eat everything I want.   That is the quandary of life isn't it? How to eat anything and not gain weight.
 I wish I was like my little friends K. or H. or B.  but alas...they have it figured out and food does not have control over them....they don't clean their plates or put large portions of food on their plates in the first place.  I started this blog 10 years ago with the domain name.."sick of chub"...and I still am ... it still fills my thoughts.    It just shows that whether age 45 or 55... weight and food are my kryptonite.  They take away my mental super powers.

Wayne and I are off to Paris the city of Love and FOOD and I'm going to eat it all.  It's okay.  I will start thinking about it all over again when we return.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

35th Anniversary

Wayne's the one who knows my stories, gets my jokes, warms my feet, takes my side, ignores my quirks, finishes my sentences and soothes my worries.  He's been doing this for 35 years.  I'm so grateful for him. 
We are going to La Caille for an elegant dinner then to see our sweet Bre once again in Little Mermaid at CPT.  A week from today we will be on our way to Paris, France- the most romantic city in the world.  We will explore this city together.  It will be an adventure.


Monday, March 12, 2018

Laila Senate Dance-- Clueless

Laila had her school dance on Saturday., ..it was girls choice and she took Cort Richards, her friend from Mueller Park days.  



For the day activity, they got together on Friday night for an Amazing Race that we parents put on for them. There were 8 different stops where the kids gained points for solving puzzles, naming that tune, figuring out codes and drinking sour shots.  They had a create a smoothie  and drink it -food challenge at our home.  We had 6 ingredients that they had to blend and drink for points.  We used chocolate syrup, cantaloupe, siracha hot sauce, tuna fish , dill pickles and german mustard all blended up in 1 cup of water.  It was enough to make me- and Laila -  gag…but some of the dance kids chugged it down so they could WIN.  It was great to be a part of this fun activity. 


 On Saturday for the dance this big group of 34 kids all had fun dressing like the 90’s preppy “Clueless” characters.  Laila looked great.  Landon helped with her hair and Shelby helped with her make up.   We took her little girl kilt and re-sewed it into a skirt she could fit into now. 








Thursday, March 8, 2018

My Love affair with NYC


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My love affair with New York City.
The first time I went to NYC I was a new 22-year-old teacher at Bountiful High school.   I went with a group of drama students on an educational tour between the Christmas- New Year holiday break.    We went and toured with other drama teachers and students from across the state.  
We stayed  or should I say "holed up" in the Edison Hotel,  on 47th just off Times Square.  It was 1984 and the Edison had a beautiful old world lobby but the rest of the hotel  was really old world and not updated in the least.  I checked my four girl students  into their room, my one boy into his (that he shared with a student from another school), and then I wandered down a labyrinth of hallways where the ceiling got shorter and closer to the top of my head til I was let into a closet..I mean my room with a single bed and a tiny RV type bathroom.    The accommodations were kind of bleak, but the experience was out of this world.  Thus began my love affair with NYC. 
1984 was back  when NO one went into Central Park (too many drug deals and prostitutes) and before the Mayor and Disney had yet to reform Time Square and the theatre district.  There were many XXX theatres and pamphlets being handed out EVERYWHERE.  We were told to keep our eyes down and stay together in a group close.   My girl students were afraid, and so we did. My boy student- Craig Casper- was more adventurous and walked us through Central Park .  He was our protector.  He was probably 125lbs. dripping wet, but had been to this city with his father so he felt more secure and after the park walk he took us to Carnegie Deli for “real” German deli style cheesecake—and yes, it was amazing.  (I had gotten a piece at Carnegie Deli every trip until it closed in 2016. I mourned.)     I remember being in the Howard Johnsons (that was on Times Square but isn’t any more because of the Times Square Marriott)  and  when asked where we were from and  we said, “Utah” the waitress looked at my one boy student and four girl students and me  and said,  “Oh I get it polygamy.  Can I see your horns.?”  My students looked at me very confused.  Realizing that she thought we were all married to 16 year old Craig- made us  laugh hysterically.   
We saw Cats,  ( I was stunned by the dancing and how they decorated the theatre up so we were all small and it felt like we were in a garbage dump—giant shoes and drink bottles and cans.  It was very immersive)  La Cage Aux Folles, , A Neil Simon play and an off Broadway small musical. La Cage Aux Folles blew me away…such a  tender, bittersweet story and so amazing with all of the people in drag – some men and some women which kept everyone guessing til the end when they finally pulled their wigs off.  Astonishing. 
We came out of La Cage on New Years Eve and were trapped in a block jammed with too many people on Times Square.  We were  jostled, pushed and shoved, so we linked arms, kept our valuables close to our chests and waited for the ball to drop.  It was magical. Then within minutes after the ball drop a million people just disappeared and all that was left was  massive amounts of garbage and confetti.  By morning, even that was cleaned up.  
I couldn’t wait to get back to NYC…so two years later in the 1986  Christmas/New Years holiday,  I was there again, this time with Wayne.  We saw.. Smile,  Rumors,  Cats  ( again)  a little off broadway production that wasn’t memorable but the guy out front trying to sell us “coke and weed” certainly was.    We avoided the New Years Eve crush…staying on the side flow streets and watching the police horses rear up and keep the crowd at bay.   We saw bottles being thrown out of hotel windows and landing on people’s heads..one guy all bloodied…and one gentleman , who was soooo intoxicated, dropped his pants and shouted ,”Happy New Year,” at the top of his lungs.   Good times. We ate at a little Chinese restaurant with  real cats running around—not the costumed, dancing, jellical kind.
Times Square and NYC got  cleaned up and “Disney-ized” in the 1990’s. Thank goodness.  It made the place much more family friendly.   
I didn’t get back to NYC til 1996 and I’ve been going pretty consistently ever since. 
I have been with just Wayne or with different groups of friends - many times, with a  girlfriend, with my sisters and mom , with a BHS choir trip, taken the older boys with the Wangsgaards and Brady Bentley, taken the younger boys with Lindsey, taken Laila  and just recently I was there with  Truman.   
I love New York.   There is so much to see and do.
I love the energy.  
I love people watching.
I love hailing a cab. ( UBER is better now)
I love ALL of the theatre.
I love the food carts.
I love scouting out the best “cheap” pizza in NYC.
I love following different foodies advice for the best this or that at restaurants.
I loved the cheap shopping in China town -  I have bought too many purses, too many watches, sunglasses, pashminas and t shirts.
I love walking through the expensive 5th avenue high end stores..and I used to love going to H and M – which was only in New York, and Forever 21 – which was only in New York…but now they are everywhere.  I still love Zara.
I love walking through Central Park and watching the artists, the nannys with  strollers,  the zoo, the ice skating rink, the John Lennon memorial,  the lakes, the fountain, the bikers and  horse drawn carriages.
I’m okay with the subway..it doesn’t scare me…but I love walking the most.
I love walking the Brooklyn Bridge back into the City.
I love going to church there.
I love spending time in the museums.
I love the Statue of Liberty …seeing it up close or far away.
I love the romance of the Empire State Building, or going to the Top of the Rock and now the  One World Trade Center for outstanding views. 
So much to love.

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

March is in like a LION

 Addison got his hair cut for his role as Harold Hill in The Music Man.  He looks sharp although he is mourning his long hair.  He took  Laila as his date to the Hale Center thank you party for actors.  I loved seeing my oldest and my youngest do something together. 
 Bre as Ariel in the Little Mermaid at CPT, was LOVELY.  Bre sings this part like a dream and the production itself was really strong.   We took all of the Buzelli's to dinner and then this show for Alex's birthday.   The kids loved it!
 We finally got snow.... and a lot of snow.  20 inches.   It's crazy we have only had 3 storms this whole winter....only 17 days til Spring starts.

 Wayne got an e-bike from his good friend Scott Keller...actually Scott Keller gave all of his Biking buddies mountain e-bikes for Christmas.   11 bikes!   It was incredible to see this happen and be a part of this fun night at Bountiful Bike.