Friday, September 22, 2017

Free Agency

Laila was in her first car accident.   She was a little stressed, cried a bit, spoke to the police officer clearly...and realized that it's all survivable.  Chalk it up to experience.

Laila and I were driving in Farmington wanting to turn into Station Park.  Laila put her blinker on to turn into the first drive way, and I said, no let's pull in down there pointing a 100 feet farther down the street.  While her blinker was on a black car that was waiting at a stop sign pulled out in front of her.   Laila took her blinker off and now was going forward, when a gold car thinking Laila was still turning, pulled out and hit Laila on the front side bumper of my Yelo Car.  It was slow motion, crazy.  No one was hurt, both cars were going quite slow...just my car was hurt with $2500 in damage.  (Now the insurance companies have to fight it out )

Laila and the other teen age driver both screamed a swear word...and then just sat in silence.  I screamed..."brake brake..i can't believe this" as I heard my car being crunched.   Laila was impressed that no swear words escaped my lips.  I don't even think like that....

But Lessons learned....... I took Laila's free agency away insisting that she drive farther down the street to turn in...and when she obeyed and did that we got in a crash.  Had I left her to her own agency none of this would have happened.

So many times in my kids lives I want to take their agency away because I think I know better.  I want to tell them who to be friends with, where to work, where to go to school, how to drive, what classes to take etc... but all these choices really need to be in their own hands...just as they were in mine.  

As parents it's easy for us to see the mistakes out kids are going to make, even before they make them.  But the growth comes in the making of the mistake, the regrouping and learning from it and trying better the next time.

Now... who's to say had Laila turned in where she wanted to we wouldn't have gotten in an accident?? ...and then I would be saying, she should have listened to me....but that's not what happened.... and still her free agency should trump my bossiness.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

It's raining $

 Laila went a full year with NO social media.  We challenged her a year ago to see if she could make this happen... it was all 12 months or nothing for a 100 bucks a month and SHE DID IT!   She celebrated today by opening up a bank account, getting a debit card, paying tithing and  planning on where to spend her money.    She also got on Social media, but she says she will take it slow and be safe and vigilant.

In other news... it's the big BYU vs. Utah rivalry football game tonight...and Wayne and Laila  are representing the U today and always.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Tru got Drugged and Mugged in Tel Aviv

Truman got drugged and mugged in Tel Aviv
Yep that’s correct.
My boy lived to tell about it with only his cell phone  and some jewelry stolen and a few bumps and bruises. 
Truman flew into Tel Aviv, Israel for his first time.  HE went out to dinner at a restaurant/bar with his crew mates.  After much peer pressure from the crew and the bar staff to have a drink, just one drink..he succumbed and had a cocktail.  He said , he started feeling weird almost immediately and excused himself to go to the bathroom, but before he left, he handed his wallet to his crew mate and told him to pay for his drink.  Tru said the bathroom was up two flights of stairs and down a long hallway and he can’t remember much about the next 6 hours of his night.  The next memory he has is of running away from two men in a deserted market alley way…getting caught and beat up and then having his stuff taken from him. Later.. he doesn’t know how long…..He came back to and was groggy trying to figure where he was, why he didn’t have his phone or wallet and couldn’t remember the name of his hotel.  He knew it was on the water and so headed in that direction.  He stumbled back into his hotel in the morning and was met by his FRANTIC crew mates who had been up looking for and worrying about him all night.  They said when he didn’t come back from the bathroom , they went in search of him and knew he wouldn’t just leave with out his wallet.  They asked around, got a pic off of facebook and showed it around, tried to file a police report and  hotel report and just tried to get some help.  They figured the bar staff had some sort of ring of drugging drinks, then mugging people on their way out for their money and phones.    They have flagged the hotel, bar and restaurant on the DELTA app so others won’t have to experience this.   
Tru was blessed and watched over.  I told him it’s because this momma prays for his well being every day and sends her angels to care for him. 
He was blessed, that he left his wallet with his crew so that didn't get stolen and  his ID and credit cards etc...   He was blessed, that he had a crew that was concerned about him and his whereabouts.  He was blessed that he didn’t get his face messed up, just bruised on arms and stomach, neck etc.. He was blessed that he wasn’t knifed or killed or stolen…so many horrible things could have happened, but didn’t.  He was blessed that he had a laptop –that I had just given him—in his hotel room, so he could get on facebook and let us know what was going on and still be connected.  He was blessed that he can’t actually remember what happened, so he doesn’t need to have nightmares about it.
He is back in NYC and has gone to the dr’s to be checked out.  
Tru has learned some things….he won’t be accepting any drinks except from bottles that he personally opens.  He won’t be going off on his own even to a restaurant bathroom.   He will be more cautious with what he does around the world…and that’s ok.  Tru is still my adventurer and I don’t want his spirit dashed, but I do want his lessons to be learned so he doesn’t have to repeat this again and again. 

Saturday, September 2, 2017

September is the month of Kindess

Two years ago today Dad left us...he took one last breath...we thought he was joking..we all laughed and then realized, nope this is really it...and he was gone.  It was a sad, relief filled , beautiful time.

Two years ago it felt like I couldn't catch my breath, that I couldn't put one foot in front of the other. that I was in a fog.  It's amazing how time heals, how time helps, how time just keeps moving forward with or with out my people.

And the Cole family just "keeps on keeping on."  I sing this in my current show 9 to 5 the Musical, and it's so true.

We still have fun at Bear Lake.  We still get together at least once a month to catch up on what's going on with everyone and we still treasure the lessons our parents taught us.  

Just like May is all about Sheri with her death (May 21 ) and birth days ( May 9 ) ... September is all about my dad with his death ( Sept 2nd) and birth days ( Sept 25).

My challenge this month is to be more KIND.  Extra KIND.  KINDER than I ever knew I could be. Im doing this in honor of my of the kindest person I ever knew.

Monday, August 28, 2017

We need each other

Laila has started at Bountiful High and I am finally on my LAST high school student.  
This is cause for a LARGE celebration!! Bring on the balloons!

 As I walk back into BHS, I have memories of my own sophomore year.  Laila complains about her crappy drivers ed teacher and I commiserate because I had a crappy one too.  She is excited about the dances and cheering at the games.  I loved the dances too, and went to all of the football and basketball games.  She shakes her head over the kids in her classes who get kicked out the first day of class or who are disrespectful  to the teachers...I lived that too.  The part she loves the most is hanging with all her friends....and what I loved the most was the kids I attended Bountiful High with.  I spent two of those years with my sister Marcie. I met Wayne my sophomore year in my English class. I still see some of my high school friends around town and now with Facebook I have connected with many more.  

I loved my high school years and look back on them fondly and as I Facebook "stalk" my old friends what I’ve discovered is that life has treated us all pretty much the same. The cool kids, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the choir kids, the drama/debate bunch, the parking lot gang, the nerds and even the Homecoming Queen. We've gotten married, never married, gained weight, gone bald, been divorced, never had children, lost children, have children we love to the point of pain, suffered every ailment including cancer, been unemployed and employed in jobs we never thought we’d be doing in a million years.  None of us has lived the life we expected to live when we roamed the halls at Bountiful High.  Some of us are glad for that, others are frustrated, but we are all more humble.  More forgiving of ourselves and others.  More open to not knowing what the next moment holds and feeling grateful we're even here at all because a sad and surprising number of us have already died.  After 30 years, we recognize we're more alike than we are different and in no small part because we embarked on our adult lives at the same moment  -June 1980. 

In thinking back on these times and those people, I realize that we needed each other then and probably still need each other now.

Sunday, August 20, 2017


Welch Reunion

 Mark, Dale, Tami, Holly, Wendi, Wanee, Jane, Sandy, Wayne, Terry.....

New Familiy group pictures taken on Tom's birthday.. Aug 13th.    I"m grateful to be counted as one of Wanee's children.  Such a blessed, supportive  group to be a part of. 

Welch Family reunion was yesterday at Terry and Cyrrena’s home…they are always so gracious to let us all bombard on their home.   Jane and Steve served up all the meals..which were delicious.  We spent the day together with breakfast, a family catch up , hiking the mountain,  lunch, games, a lot of talking and laughter.  Who loved it THE MOST was Andrew and Sophia…they love having family stuff.  They did the scavenger picture hunt with their new cousin friend – Porter Reynolds.  All of my kids except for Truman could be in attendance. 
 Savannah, Grandma Welch, Hailey, Andrew, Sophia and Alfie all waiting for the hikers to return.
 Laila and Tayla just messing around.  Tayla is doing a lot better getting around on her broken let.
 Melinda, Bre, Jane, Landon, Wanee, Alex, Addison and Sandy....
 A bunch of cousin friends, Tanisha, with baby Thomas, Kylie, Cade, Becca, Bridger, Hailey, Anna, Laila, Alex, Tiffany, Karissa, Savannah and Nash....

Some for the family hiked up to top of the rock and to the Falls....