Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Collective Joy or Pain musings




With all of the  recent mass shootings and so much violence in our society it’s easy to want to just bury your head and stay in bed… atleast stay home and not participate in crowds or with other people.   This article written right after the Las Vegas gives me pause...

2017 Las Vegas shooting:

"It was crazy - I laid on top of the kids. They're 20. I'm 53. I lived a good life," McGarry said. The back of his shirt bore footmarks, after people ran over him in the panicked crowd.

There are no safe places anymore. Not our schools or churches. Not concerts or malls. Not airplanes or subways. Sometimes the monsters even lurk within the confines of our homes.

There's no safe places anymore, which is every parents' worst nightmare. 

And while I am grief-stricken for the tragic events that occurred in Las Vegas last night while I lay peacefully sleeping in my bed, while I am grief stricken and filled with rage and nauseous with the weight of how many lives this impacted, I am not shocked. 

In the coming days, there will be an incessant need to validate viewpoints on gun control. There will be references to the Constitution and the Founding Fathers. There will be finger pointing at the NRA and the lack of support for the mentally ill in our country. 

We won't agree, so nothing will change. 

So, I am not shocked that the deadliest mass shooting in our country happened last night, and I won't be shocked when it happens again -- because it will.

Instead, I will go over -- again -- what my children should do if they ever encounter gunfire. I will explain to them when they should run, when they should hide, and when they should remain silent. I will prepare them for this world and pray they will never need to use the information.

I will tell them to look for the helpers, because they are always there. I will hope they remember my tips to guide them to safety. And I will encourage them to be kind to everyone they meet, because you never know the heartache they are carrying. If only we could clearly see and know how to help those among us that are most damaged inside before they unleash their pain on others.

There are no safe places anymore, and as we release our kids out into the world, oftentimes we won't be there to lay over their bodies, protecting them from gunfire.

All we can control is our own behaviors, the love we have for others and the hope we can still find in our hearts. 

And when we don't know what to do, when senseless acts of violence rattle us to our core, when the world seems to come unhinged, the only thing we can do is try to do good.

Do something -- anything -- good today. Do it for someone you don't know. Do it for someone you dislike. Do it for someone because maybe, just maybe, it will stop them from hurting someone else.

Because there are no more safe places, but we're all still in this life together.

One of my favorite thought leaders is Brene Brown.  She is a researcher on shame and vulnerability and other human conditions.  She writes:

Brene Brown: We are in a spiritual crisis, and the key to building a true belonging practice is maintaining our belief in inextricable human connection. 
Our belief in inextricable human connection is one of our most renewable sources of courage .  I can stand up for what I believe is right when I know that regardless of the push back and criticism I’m connected to myself and others in a way that can’t be severed.
We know that  people are wonderful and they can be hard.  Every day life can be incredibly hard and the people around us can push us to the end of our nerves and our civility.

So how do we cultivate and grow this belief of inextricable human connection internally?  The answer from Brene Brown's research is…Show up for moments of collective joy and pain so we can actually bear witness to inextricable human connection. 
We need to engage in moments of joy and pain with strangers.  We have to catch enough glimpses of  people connecting to one another and having fun together that we believe it’s true and possible for all of us.
Why do we need to put so much value on collective moments? 
Because we need to come together in Joy and in Pain.  We need these constant reminders.  These gatherings fortify our belief in each other.
 Let’s explore what experiences of collective joy and pain look like:

Monson’s Canada Choir trip 2011.  We have walked around Victoria, BC and sung at historical places all day.  Now it’s free time .  Superintendant Bryan Bowles took all of the chaperones on the choir trip to dinner at Pagliacci’s...in Victoria, British Columbia, and we all ordered Italian food. The restaurant was really noisy and Billy Joel’s Piano Man came on the speaker over head. Larry Smith, Laura Belnap and I all  started singing it softly at the table, and pretty soon all of the chaperones were singing and laughing and conducting the song with their forks....... and  the other restaurant eaters were looking at us and the waitresses were smiling and  when we got to the chorus of the song, I shouted out to the entire smiling restaurant...”Everybody”....and Everybody  in the restaurant joined in with us and sang the chorus to Piano Man, at the top of their lungs.  Swaying back and forth to the rhythm.....like in a movie.  We all clapped and high fived as we got to the end...and then the wait staff wanted to know what else we wanted to sing.....so we all sang Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline ........ and some students, who were also there, videoed it and showed all of the other choir kids and they couldn’t believe their chaperones were being so crazy and having so much fun and none of them were even drunk.... and as we left the restaurant many patrons were sad to see their entertainment go.  IT was a moment of collective JOY

 A beautiful reminder at my Mom’s viewing of collective pain and joy.  We were exhausted after greeting so many well wishers and loved ones at mom’s viewing.  It was crazy crowded and really just wiped us all out.  It was good to mourn with everyone that came out and feel of their love for my mother and for all of us.  Sometimes it hurt so much I couldn’t even  breathe…but once they had all left we were having a little family time and my dad said let’s cheer up and all sing the family song.   Dad led us all in a smile through tears rendition of Once I went a swimming.  It was so rollicking that the funeral director’s had to pop in the room to see if we were ok.  It’s a family favorite song  and now it’s tied to this beautiful memory of my dad and my mom. 

Attending funerals critically important and when you are there you take part in all of it… every song, every prayer…

Collective pain.  My brother and sisters and I sat vigil around dad for a week before he died.  Dad said some really cute things while he was in and out of consciousness for his last 7 days.  At one point I asked him if he needed any thing else and in his delirium he said, “I am sufficiently suffonsified and anything else would be superfluous.”  He always would wake up just enough to tell people he loved them.  He ate imaginary food and seemed to enjoy it immensely.  He saw mom and said she was just as beautiful as ever.  He heard angel choirs and saw many people in his room including Marcie.  At one point he opened his eyes , looked at us all sitting vigil and said, “Thank you for everything.”  It was sweet.  Dad has sleep apnea and so he would stop breathing for about 20 seconds of every minute…then snore and breathe again.  At the end, Dad was doing this…but this time he didn’t breathe for 40 seconds.  We all thought this was it, and leaned in and teared up…then dad let out a snore and we all laughed…but really that was his last breath.  We couldn’t believe it.  He had us laughing and crying to the end.

Mom’s last Sharing Sheri… we all gathered with joy and in pain as she told us what she believed and how we should go on when she is gone.  Mom had a grand Birthday celebration.   We all gathered…the kids and grandkids..and great grandkid Ryan…to sing to mom and celebrate.  It was teary but wonderful.  We sang Christmas carols and other hymns and primary songs together, then we also sang solos—country, broadway, church…you name it…anything you wanted to cheer up Momma.  She  was in Heaven!  Then she took the time to tell us all about her Mission statement.  This has been calligraphied up and displayed outside of her bedroom door for years.  She went through each part and talked about it and hoped she had exemplified it.  She really wanted her grandkids to know how important it is to be nice and have unconditional love.  How important her Heavenly Father and Savior is in her life and how she hopes she will return with Honor. We said a big final family prayer and then put all of our hands in the middle with one big resounding, “Forever!”
It was a beautiful time.  A sacred time.  In fact, Mom’s  bedside felt peaceful and for lack of a better word…sacred.  I wrote back in 2013: " I am  drawn to it, we all are.  I don’t want to miss it..or her. I am trying to memorize her hands and face and voice and all of her.  She is beautiful inside and out and always has been.  I know she will leave a void and an ache. "

Cross town rivals Bountiful High and Woods Cross High.  Bountiful dominated football for 24 years, but now Woods cross is on the winning side and a rivalry game is anyone’s bet.  It was pleasure to be there Sept. 2017  to watch our Laila cheer her heart out for the Braves. At the end of 4 quarters of play it was a tied score 7- 7…because of a missed field goal by the Braves with only 2 seconds left on the clock.  Heart break.  Now the Wildcats had a turn to score and they did with a field goal.  The Braves were disheartened…but then their quarter back did two quarter back sneak plays and ran in for a final touch down. The crowd went wild, screaming, hugging, crying, storming the field.  It was complete collective JOY for the Braves and total collective Pain on the Woods Cross side. We all witnessed it together.  

Attending theatre can be times of collective Joy for me.   Two times in particular come to mind.  Recently I waited in a standby line for 3 hours in hopes to get tickets to Come From Away. All the tickets were gone, but I did get standing room only tickets with Truman.  We stood in the back of the theatre just hoping it would be a good show and take away our thoughts of standing up for two hours and really engage us.  It did not disappoint.   It’s a beautiful show about 9/11 It is set in the week following the September 11 attacks and tells the true story of what transpired when 38 planes were ordered to land unexpectedly in the small town of Gander, Newfoundland.   The characters in the musical are based on (and in most cases share the names of) real Gander residents as well as some of the 7,000 stranded travelers they housed and fed.  It was amazing to stand in the sell out crowd and be there as everyone jumped to their feet for the curtain call bows and then proceeded to dance with each other  in the aisles and their seats. The live band orchestra on stage just kept playing as along as they could.    It’s like none of us wanted to leave.  Collective JOY!

A second experience happened at a BHS choir trip to Washington DC.  We took all of the kids to see Big River  at the Historical  Ford Theater where Lincoln was shot.  It was performed by a  Sign Language group..with two characters on stage for each part..a speaker one and one dressed exactly like the first as a sign language character.  It was incredible.  When the song  Waiting for the Light to Shine came on it was sung and signed powerfully with the orchestration. Then the music stopped, the singers went quiet but the signers carried on- using their powerful fingers and signing their hearts out.  It was almost spiritual for all in the entire audience.  We gave a standing ovation in the middle of the show… collective JOY.  I will never forget this experience. 

Being in a show or as an audience member is being together in the experience.  It is not the same watching at home through the  tv glass. 

Music continues to bring me memories of collective Joy.  One Christmas Eve at mom’s house…she served a delicious dinner prior to our gathering to sing Christmas Hymns and end with our family four part rendition of  the Hallelujah Chorus.    It as mom and Dad, Liz and Al, My family and Marcie’s family.  Mom set a beautiful table with gold rimmed plates, gold flatware and gold candles and jingle bells scattered on the table.  As  my nephew Nelson Call  was helping to clear the table he picked up a jingle bell and rang it in time and started singing…”Hark How the Bells…” by the time he sang  “sweet silver bells” I had joined in with him.  That’s all it took for the family choir to either pick up gold jingle bells and chime in time, or sing the rest of the song in four part harmony perfectly.  IT WAS AMAZING.  One of our family’s best.   We all clapped and laughed for each other and then said…oh dang, we should have videoed it…but we tried again and couldn’t do it.   It was one and done.  Collective JOY

Collective Pain:   Where I was when the Challenger explode? It was my prep period as I was teaching at Bountiful High in 1986.  I had walked up to the copy center room. Veon Cox- the center leader was watching the Tv in excitement of the launch I stood and watched it with her, just shooting the breeze...then we watched in horror when it exploded and hugged each other - speechless.
Where was I  when the towers were brought down in 9/11?  Once again I was teaching at Bountiful High.  I was subbing for my sister Angela who had just had a baby 1 week earlier- Preston Brown.  It was right when school started and a girl ran into my room and said a plane had just hit world trade center.  We turned on  the Tv and this whole classroom of drama kids watched together. It felt good to be together.    Finally we were all excused to go to our own homes..and then I processed it alone, and it was TOOO hard.

Life and death situations….
Scary pain… Nataly Kogan Live Happy 
“We landed with a lot of shaking, but safely. Surrounded by fire trucks, the plane eventually came to a stop and the cabin erupted into the loudest of applause. Everyone was glowing and being extra kind to each other, asking everyone if they were okay, just celebrating this moment together. I thought about how crises often bring out the best of us and what we can do to remember to keep that best going when everything is okay.”

Collective effervescence_- moments of shared emotion, but not moments of real connection.  It’s a ministry of presence.  It’s about being with others sometimes even without conversation.  These moments can turn into real connection if you spend time and conversation with those around you.

Is Culture of stranger danger helping us or holding us back??

Our socialization is to look down and not to engage when out in public and someone draws attention to themselves, we don't want to witness their embarrassment.  But we need to reach out…be human…be real.   These can be moments of inextricable connection.  It’s about whether we are willing to invest.  It’s about vulnerability.  Being friendly is seen as uncool…seen as like less intellectual?  We need to put down  this "being cool"   persona and just engage with people. 

Connection is not hanging out with people who hate the same people that we do.  That’s common enemy intimacy which is counterfeit connection.   It’s not fuel for real connection.   We amplify cynicism.     Can leave us with regrets.   Fuels spiritual crisis of disconnection.  Here’s what and who we hate….
When a collective comes together to be negative about someone or something…It does not bond.     There is no true belonging or connection.     Dehumanizing and objectifying negate collective joy and pain.    No gossip policy
Social Media…. Use to keep self warm and nourished or you can burn down the barn.
Face to face connection is imperative in our true belonging practice.  It’s essential.  Social media is helpful in cultivating connection only to the extent where there is real community with structure, purpose and meaning…and face to face contact.   
Susan Pinker:    There is no substitute for in person interactions.
SOCIAL INTERACTION can:
Bolster our immune system
Send positive hormones surging through our blood stream and brain
Help us live longer
I call this building your village and building it is a matter of life and death.  Social interaction helps us live longer, healthier lives. 
Staying away from people is equal to…Pack a day cigarette habit, hyper tension or obesity
Foreboding joy…only way to combat this is gratitude.  The only people who can really lean into joy is those who practice gratitude.  It takes real courage for us to feel pain.  We spread hurt rather than deal with what’s inside.

We have to be brave to seek out joy and pain..it takes courage and courage takes vulnerability.

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