Thursday, March 12, 2015

Change of Heart

I used to believe that being gay was a choice..and not a very good one.  One that would divide a family and shouldn't be talked about..... a whispered lifestyle, that if light was shed on it and it was acknowledged would  only destroy..... ( It seems crazy even as I write it down. )
I've come a long way baby! 
I have had a complete change of heart......I know being gay isn't a choice.  To love unconditionally is the choice.  
 I know that I can love and accept all of my people and your people too.......... but to get to this point took repentance.
That's right.... repentance on my part.
I never thought about it like this until I was sitting in a Relief Society lesson on repentance.  One of the main points was "Repentance involves a mighty change of heart."   I know I have had a mighty change of heart  from the first time Landon came out and rocked my world, to the second time when Truman did.  I know I have  had to repent of judgement and pride.  Really that's what keeps us from loving people.  We set ourselves up as judges.  We allow our "Church Lady"  to take over as we look down our noses, preach at and belittle others.  We let "what will people think" get in the way of truly loving.  Yet the Savior never called upon us to be that, or to do that...he only called upon us to LOVE others.  Unconditionally.   He asks us to love one another 95 times in the Bible. He asks us to love with no ifs, ands or buts.
I have almost raised five children and  one of the biggest challenges I face is allowing my children their agency. I'm really good at planning their lives out for them...what classes they should take, who they should marry, when they should have children, what they should major in, where they should live, etc...   I want to  force my children to do what I feel is right, but Heavenly Father does not force me to obey His commandments. He lovingly guides and directs me with "patience and love unfeigned."   Such a great example for my own parenting.
I know when we love unconditionally it has a powerful effect.  Relationships are strenghthened; hearts and hands are lifted;  families are saved. 
I can honestly say,  I wouldn’t trade this life experience for any other. It has brought me closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior as I have grown in compassion, hope, patience and faith. I have  repented and my heart is changed.
SIDENOTE:   What seems to be one of the most surprising facts to LDS members surrounding homosexuality is that the church clearly states on their website that same-gender attraction is NOT a choice …
On this same website,,  Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Twelve Apostles said,
“As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”

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