I believe in the church. I know we only have a small portion of the truth right now. I hope we get more truth and clarity as time goes on. I’ve made space for the possibility that our human leaders still have things to learn, and that the Lord loves all of his children, and understands their hearts.
There’s a huge percentage of people who are not in the church. I believe HIS plan is to help ALL of them reach their maximum potential, as would be my intent if I were in that position. I’ve decided by staying in the faith I love, I can help others come to understand and be more sensitive to the LGBTQ community. So yeah, I have pain from things said at church, but I cling to my faith in the Lord and the answers I’ve received so far. And I try to have grace for everyone, wherever they are on their journey.
I believe that there are things beyond my understanding or things that have not yet been revealed, otherwise I would be unable to continue to believe in a Heavenly Father or believe in the gospel, because I believe in a God of love.
For me, staying in the LDS church doesn’t mean thinking my LGBTQ child/ sister is flawed, condemned to second class citizenship in heaven, or awaiting celestial conversion therapy. It means believing God is bigger and more perfect than I understood before, and that our understanding here on earth is imperfect and flawed. Staying, for me, means having hope that as we pray and work for further light, we’ll progress as a church body toward full inclusion.
I’ve stopped asking spiritual permission, I think what I want, I picture who I want when I pray, etc. It took a long time to get here, but here I am. And it is very freeing!
I decided several years ago if I were going to stay in the Church I needed to stop listening so much to external authority. I have zero control of what comes out of Salt Lake, (2015 policy) the good and bad alike, but I do have control over myself.
I can believe anything I want.
I choose to believe that God loves me and mine. That I can turn so much heart ache and unanswered questions over to Christ and he comforts me.
I believe the atonement is real and is not plan B but The plan- to mess up, experience life etc… repent and try again to be more Christlike the next time. I want all of my people to know this and experience it. My mom regret is I didn't pattern this good enough for my kids. That I didn't share my teenage mess ups and fix ups. I just wanted my kids to experience shiny perfect Melinda.
I believe in the priesthood power of God and I believe as a covenant keeping woman that I hold it just as much as Wayne does.
I believe that people are basically good and doing the best they can, and if they knew better, they would do better— I give this same grace to my kids, politicians and my Church leaders.
I believe the Book of Mormon is true scripture and I read it every day. It helps me come closer to Jesus- especially 3rd Nephi.
I believe that being in church and in community is spiritually healthy for me. I'm okay hearing from other people who don't believe like I do and just being curious and compassionate, and I hope others would extend to me this same gesture.
I believe that I have to take care of me- my thoughts- my relationship with God. When you move into those I don’t know spaces that’s when personal revelation and a relationship with God kicks in.
I believe I can pray how ever I want.... all day long prayer in my heart, laying in bed counting my blessings as I drift off to sleep, formal kneeling down prayers, one word prayers like Help, Thanks,Wow-- they all work.
I have taken back my worship on Sunday…. If I want to believe in a Heavenly Mother- which I do - and talk about her, no one can stop me. This is my heavenly career plan after all.
Taking my worship back also means seeking much more personal revelation. Deciding what feels right— where the good fruit is of this policy or doctrine. I don't have to be EXACTLY like everyone else.
I’m okay with all of this. It makes going to church on Sunday something I actually look forward to.
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