Portland trip day 1 and 2

 We all piled in our cars early on Wednesday morning. Landon, Alex, Sophia and Andrew in one car; Addison, Bre, Poppy and sometimes Alfie in the second car; and Wayne, Lexi, Monson, Tayla, Laila, Lady, Me and sometimes Alfie in our big car.   Our goal was to get to Portland by dinner time without any accidents or whiny kids.   I got to set in the back back with 1 year old Lady on one side and 17 year old Laila on the other.  We were squished.  It was uncomfortable, but we did it.

 We got to Portland around 8:00 and quickly checked into our Hotel, then met TRUMAN at Tilt for gourmet burgers and fries.  It was delicious.  And Wayne, because of the poor lighting was dizzy and totally tilted.   SO great to see Truman and get a long awaited hug outta him.   Truman had his bags packed to come to the hotel for a big sleep over in the 3 suites we got for all 16 of us.

After a good night's sleep-- staying at this hotel was actually Tayla's favorite part of the trip-- we went out and did what Portland loves to do best...eat BRUNCH.  Besaw's Brunch was foodie delicious.  Basically, we loved it and Monson tolerated it and just hoped that at some point he could sneak off to a McDonalds.  

 The kids, under the command of Sophia did many cousin hugs and all hands in the middle type cheers.  I'm grateful my littles all get along and love and entertain each other.

Truman took us  on a rainy walking tour to his apartment building and then off to find some Blue Star donuts.  

 The roof top of Truman's apartment building was rainy and wet and the ids didn't like it, but we all loved seeing Tru's studio apartment and all piled on his bed.

Powell's books was next...we all got lost here. I love a fun bookstore--this was Tayla's second favorite thing we did.

Hanging out with Truman was awesome.  We miss his face so much.  He has a lot going on this month starting with his big family road trip to Rockaway beach, trip to Seatle with friends, then he has a yoga retreat and training, then he's off to Mexico for his friend Sal's birthday.   He is off work for 21 days and they are holding his job for him at Lardo's.

Conference thoughts

Saturday conference was fun. Good topics- especially Elder Holland's talk on this is all centered on Christ :

“The prayer of every speaker, the hope of all who sing, the reverence of every guest — we are all are dedicated to inviting the spirit of Him whose Church this is, the living Christ, the Lamb of God, the Prince of Peace.”

“I testify with … a host of others down through time that surely the most thrilling sight and sound in life is that of Jesus not only passing by but His coming to us, stopping beside us and making His abode with us.”

“Through the incessant din and drumbeat of our day, may we strive to see Christ at the center of our lives, of our faith and of our service. This is where true meaning lies.

“And if some days our vision is limited, or our confidence has waned, or our belief is being tested and refined – as surely it will be — may we cry out the louder, ‘Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me’ (Mark 10:47).

“I promise with apostolic fervor and prophetic conviction that He will hear you and will say, soon or late, ‘Receive thy sight: thy faith hath saved thee,’ (Luke 18:42).”

We had about 30 of our YSA's come for lunch at 1:00 and then stay for a watch party.  We had  both of our family rooms full of YSA's.  It was really a beautiful sight.

Then Women's conference and Pres. Oaks talked and it took the joy out of it for me.  Good thing he didn't talk until Saturday night. 

I'm always a little floored how often Pres. Oaks addresses LGBT issues with such assurance. The same assurance Pres. Kimball used in the 1970's  around LGBT that we know now is all wrong.  I believe Oaks take is wrong as well. 

I know how personal revelation works. There is a question I take to the Lord and then the answer is channeled through me and my experiences and biases are all part of how I interpret it.  This is how it works with Pres. Oaks too.  He is from the time where LGBT people were totally looked down on and reviled.  He is from the Pres. Kimball era.  I know he is trying, but I wish he would say..."You know what- the after life- the spirit world we don't really know how that looks. We don't really know how this all works out, but we trust that God does and it will be better than any of our earthly minds can comprehend. "  That sounds and feels like truth.  That sounds and feels like love. 

Article of Faith 9. “We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.”

We don't know and are waiting for further and continual revelation how LGBT fits into our black and white- heterosexual world.

No wonder my children have left my beloved church.

After struggling with this all night and tossing and turning what got me through and what centers me is my thought that "Heavenly Father loves my children more than I love my children.  He knows what's going on with them, more than I do.  AND I trust Him and that it's all going to work out."  This thought keeps me grounded and moving forward in the gospel.  It has for over a decade.  When I can get my thoughts back to this, I feel peace.

I know that LGBT people are part of God's plan...because they are here and a part of us.  My goal is to keep them a part of us...and a part of my church.  I know it's God's goal too.

Here is a E. Oaks quote from his talk about the Spirit World that does ring true:
" There is so much we do not know that our only sure reliance is to trust in the Lord and His love for His children."
And another from this same talk: 
"There are many questions the Lord has yet to reveal answers to.  Some of these questions may concern conditions or relationships in the spirit world or in the kingdoms of glory.  In all circumstances, the best solution is to trust the Lord and move forward. "

Donny and Marie

I had a hair-brained idea- or stroke of genius which ever way you want to call it -  last spring when I heard it was Donny and Marie's last year and they were closing their show of 11 years in November.  So I called up my old ward friends-- we call our group the sunseekers-- 4 have moved out of our ward since it's inception-- but after 20 years of friendship, we run deep. Anyway, I called them up and they were all in.  We got to see the Donny and Marie show and spend two days with each other in Vegas.

It was delightful to get away.  We solved all of the world's problems, took lots of pics, ate at Emiril's restaurant, took a personality quiz,  played games, talked  and loved and supported on each other.  AND...we laughed a lot.  

I feel so grateful to have many friends.  The ones I went to Vegas with and so many more.  I love women friendships.  

view from our Las Vegas Condo

Lazy river time.

Laura avoiding the sun

Erin Blake and Diane Lake.  Our youngest and our oldest.

Emeril's restaurant was delicious.  Salmon, Pork Loin, Mashed potatoes, Clam Chowder

Laura and Si ordered the same salad but Laura takes most everything off of hers.

Donny and Marie did not disappoint, although it was hard to watch Marie's plastic surgery face.  They sound great and we were within touching distance.  Infact Donny shook mine and Laura's hands.  

Streets of Vegas...we love the photo bomber in the back,

We had enough beds for everyone, but still we cuddled.  Erin, Laura, Kim, Kimi

My fellow Sunseekers...Diane Lake, Kim Johnston Laura Belnap. Heidi Bingham Erin Blake, Melinda, Si Foster, Kimi Farley

My phone fell into the toilet and I peed all over it!  What?  It was in my back pocket and usually you hear when a phone hits the water, but this one slid into it without a sound.  After I peed and stood up to flush, I glanced into the bowl and wondered what that phone was doing there, then I realized it was my phone and I screamed like I was being attacked and plunged my hand into the gross water.  I screamed again thinking about how long my phone was actually submerged.  My heart was racing.  My pants weren't pulled up yet.  I was in a women's public restroom standing at the sink with my urine phone and my pants down.  Quite the sight.  I washed it with soap, sanitized it with drops and turned it off hoping beyond hope that once it spent a few days in a bag of rice it would be well.  I had forgotten that Wayne and I got brand new phones in August that are iphone 10's and they are water resistant up to 30 minutes.  So even with the pee factor my phone survived!!  Now it's just a funny story.

Homecoming 2019

Laila with fellow officers Molly Moon, Ammon Clark and Clair Uryan

  This was Bountiful High’s Homecoming week.  It was a very busy week for Laila. It’s funny with officers, they are so busy working, attending all of the sports events and serving the school they have little time for actual school work.  There needs to be a better balance here. Laila had to get videos ready for the Homecoming assembly, do the assembly, and attend the games, and decorate the school and set up for the tail gate party and attend the movie night and do lunch activities and just all the things. She  had to video the football game, which Bountiful High won, (Wayne and I had to be there to sell BHS shirts) She decorated for the dance all morning Saturday, then got ready for the dance all afternoon and went to the dance then cleaned up after the dance. So many things. She looked darling though.  She had a fun date- Ammon Clark and a good group. They went to the Garden restaurant, then the Dance ( Wayne and I were Chaperones) then to a kids house for waffle making and a movie. She had a great time, trailing in at 1:00. The dance was well attended. So many kids. It was fun to note that when the Old songs were played, the ones that I recognized,  all the kids cheered and sang along as they danced. I also think it’s crazy how the boys go to the center to mosh-- basically jump up and down and get all sweaty and most of the girls are on the outskirts. Who wants a sweaty date? When we went to a dance we actually stayed with our date. (Laila and her date stayed together so that was sweet to watch) The good dance changes are the girls just ditch their high heels and either are bare foot or bring sneakers to wear and dance in ..it looks funny with their formal dresses, but it’s totally worth it to save the feet.    Anyway another high school week is over. Only 32 more to go.

Laila with her photographer buds.

Laila had to decorate for the dance, get ready for the dance, attend the dance, and clean up after the dance.  The life of an officer is hard.

Miss Utah attended the dance with a BHS autistic boy. It was very sweet and the kids was really proud.

BHS officers...

Molly wore her mom's prom dress from 30 years before.  CRAZY

Mastermind 2019

I just got back from my first Life Coach School Mastermind in Plano, Texas. It was fabulous.  I stayed with fellow coach Cheree Murdock and met up with 7 more of my LCS colleagues that were in my online learning group for the past year.

Christy, Cheree Murdock, Danny Poelman, Sharon Rutan, Me, Deborah Thomas, Noelle Pedace, Shyloh Belnap and Lisa Bower.

Sunrise out my Hotel window

Our LCS instructor was Bev Aron.  We got to meet up with her and thank her.  Bev is a "big deal" in the Life coach School. She has been with Brooke Castillo from the beginning.  Bev is great at teaching the model and demanding perfection.  She is tough and awesome.

A really fun thing that happened was me and 2 of my LCS friends, Shyloh and Deborah got to be on stage with Brooke and work through speaking and story improvement as we coach and in our messaging.   I was thrilled to be up close and personal to Brooke and she just really feels so much more accessible and like a coach-friend now.  

We got to workshop and learn about thinking the impossible- and super thinking.  taking the time to be with ourselves and our thoughts and asking our BRAIN a question we want answers to and then listening to ourselves.  We have all the answers inside of us, we just need to lean into our power and intuition.

We also got to hear messages from so many other successful life coaches.  The one that really spoke to me was learning how to feel your feelings on purpose by Rachel Hart.  It was embodying your feelings and really leaning into what it feels like in your body to be excited, have an urge, be devastated etc...  What does it feel like in your body?  Don't just analyze it in your head.    So good.

New Translation of the 5 Love Languages

NEW TRANSLATION OF THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES OR Speak your own Love Language...don’t wait for someone else to do it. By Melinda Cole Welch In 1995, Gary Chapman released his book "The 5 Love Languages" and it took my world by storm. I raised my family with Gary Chapman and the 5 Love Languages. Sheri, my mom, brought it home, consumed it and then began teaching all of us its principles. She taught our extended family, her neighbors, her ward, her stake, surrounding stakes, school faculties, school students and parents, everybody she could. She gave the book out as a wedding present for years. To anyone who would listen, she would evangelize its teachings. She drummed up a lot of business for Mr. Chapman that he didn’t even know about. Mom was good at teaching it and we bought into it. When Mom passed away, we had a memorial/celebratory event called “Sharing Sheri” and we taught the 5 love languages one more time in her honor. The book operates on the theory that there are five primary love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. We each have one or two dominant ones; and it’s important to understand them, how they rank, and how they need to play into our relationships. It equips you to figure out your love language and then tell others to love you this way. He postulates that we all have a “love bucket that needs filling,” and that when others speak our love language, our bucket fills up. I worked believing in this premise for 25 years and now I question it. It doesn’t sit completely right anymore. The 5 Love Languages are helpful in appreciating a different perspective, i.e. a different love language. But the love languages aren’t a pre-set wiring that we can ONLY feel love this one way. In fact, Gary Chapman, himself, says we all want all of these ways of love. That said, it’s important not to pigeon hole yourself or your spouse into a certain love language and assume you have no control over your behavior. YOU HAVE ABSOLUTE CONTROL. I believe learning love languages is a part of the love puzzle, and it’s a good awareness piece -- but that’s it. The 5 Love Languages can feel like a set of rules or a “manual” we have for others on how they should behave towards us so we can feel loved and it’s a rather limiting belief system. In other words, “I don’t feel loved unless someone does service for me,” (limiting belief) and “I need you to do service for me… it says that in my love language, so you should do that so I can feel loved” (a manual). If I’m telling my spouse how I expect him to show his love for me and waiting around to feel that love only if he does it the way I tell or expect him, I am now the victim of my life. I’ve given away my power. I can WANT my love language served up my way, but I don’t NEED it for me to feel love. I feel love because of WHAT I’M THINKING. I love my little babies and it’s all in my thoughts surrounding them because my babies don’t speak my love language, do nothing for me and meet none of my needs. I’m a gifts girl according to my love language, but I know that love comes from my own thoughts not if my spouse gives me a gift. Thoughts, my friends, create our feelings...not someone speaking our love language. Love, unconditional love and self love, all comes from our thoughts- and these feelings come from inside of us, not from outside sources or people showing love for us-- no matter what our love language is. This is Truth. I am the only one who feels my love. I can’t put my love on anyone else. I can’t physically give it away. When I have loving thoughts, I feel love and then I act certain ways and other people may have thoughts about my actions that create feelings of love for them, but that’s their business. I love for me because it feels so good. When I withhold my love from someone, I’m the only one that feels that as well. Unconditional love for all of God’s creatures is for me. I have loving thoughts toward all of the flawed humans and recognize my own flaws and love all of that and then I just feel better. With my new understanding of how feelings and emotions really work (Thoughts produce Feelings which move us to Actions and then to Results we get in our life), this beloved book has come to need a new translation. One that makes more sense. So …… I’m re-translating these 5 love languages. What if we spoke all of these languages to ourselves? That’s what self love would really look like. We would fill our own love buckets up then have so much to share with others. We would show up different in our world if we were filled with loving thoughts. If you think loving thoughts by receiving GIFTS: You can get your own gifts. Plan and take care of your Christmas, Birthday, Mother’s and Father’s Day gifts. This way you’re never disappointed and anything else you receive is just a bonus! You can “label” many other things around you as gifts. A note in the mail, time spent with you, a book recommendation, going to lunch with friends are all gifts. If you think loving thoughts by someone doing ACTS OF SERVICE: You can re-frame and see many other things in your life as acts of service. Running water, a home with electricity are all acts of service for you. You would not be happy without them, so be grateful for the service they provide. In fact, looking at your whole world through a lens of gratitude will aid you in finding out you are being served all of the time. You can put yourself first and say “No” to things you don’t really want to do so you can say “Yes” to the things that are important to you. You can serve others because you want to. You don’t need others to serve you to feel loved. You can stop judging yourself and others so harshly. You can clean your own space exactly to your specifications, get your own drink in a lovely cup so it’s exactly how you like it. You can be enough for you without working so hard to prove it to everyone else. If you think loving thoughts by receiving WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: Remember this is an auditory/ visual love language. The words you consume will really affect you. Turn off the news or social media feed if you are falling into a comparison trap. What books are you reading? What music lyrics are you listening to? What podcasts? This is a verbal love language and you can seek out talking opportunities. This is also about positive self talk. Work on ridding the negative thoughts you have about yourself that flow through your mind. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, then don’t allow yourself to say it to you. Be nice to yourself. If you think loving thoughts through QUALITY TIME: You can be in charge of filling your calendar. Lead out and schedule things with others, and take ownership of your calendar. That doesn’t mean fill it all up and be busy-busy...it means scheduling down time, fun time, and family time. You don’t want other people telling you what to do. You tell yourself what to do and what’s important to you by putting it on your calendar and honoring the time spent. Seek out opportunities to sit with yourself in meditation. Spend time with yourself doing hobbies and renewing talents. Be unplugged more. If you think loving thoughts through PHYSICAL TOUCH: This is a tactile- sense love language. So be nice to your physical self. Wear comfy clothing that fits. Give yourself pedicures, spas, massages, gym time, work outs, time in nature. Reach out for your partner’s hand, or put a baby on your lap. Give and receive back scratches. Give 8 second hugs. Offer more hugs to people. If you have a favorite pillow or toilet paper, take it with you on vacation. Speaking your own love language is all about the love you show to yourself that fills your “love bucket” up. Then you show up more loving towards others in your life and that’s a beautiful way to live. It’s interesting information to know what your love language is but don’t wait around for anyone to speak it. Ever. You can do it. Begin by loving you. --------------- Afterthought: If we can open our hearts with curiosity and compassion and give everyone the benefit of the doubt and remember we are all flawed humans having human experiences, we can see love pouring out of everyone. We can translate all of their doings into love. Just like a boomerang, what we give out we get back, so send out LOVING THOUGHTS and you will continually feel it.

Football Season

 BRAVE Football means Laila is painting faces, taking videos and cheering the Bountiful on to victory while I'm running concessions and Wayne's grilling hamburgers.  It's actually a lot of fun and good to be involved.  We have one more year of Highschool then we all graduate.

We had our own FAN FEST for Utah Football at the Belnaps home with 110 people.  We BBQ'd, had a ton of Ute prizes for drawings and plenty of fun things for the littles to do.... bounce house, slides etc.   This was in preparation of the big Utah vs. BYU game.  Utah won of course.

Lexi, Tayla, Emilee and John Dahl, Monson and Wayne as the photo bomber.... perfect

Love these ladies.  We love our Utes.  Linda, Me and Laura