My Preston Brown Eulogy

 I can’t say he had a great life….. and at times I get caught up in the thought that we failed him…. But, I do know that his parents loved him and were the best parents for this boy. 

My nephew Preston took his life last Sunday. We are all heart broken. 

Preston did not do this earth life easily or well. 

Born with severe eczema and psoriasis- which is an auto immune disorder- His skin was always hurting him. It was cracked and bleeding from birth with little relief. Hands, elbows, eyelids, ankles.. any crevice was raw and bloody. He was involved in so many medical studies and therapies to help alleviate his pain. He shed his skin at night and had to have his sheets changed daily. You could scoop up handfuls of dead skin cells. Lotion hurt to be put on. Water was not his friend yet he loved boating, swimming at Grandma Butters pool, waterskiing (like his dad) and tubing. 

Because of his skin condition he was shunned by his peers. No one wanted to share a desk or be his partner at activities or play with him at recess. This is hard on a kid. He got in trouble a lot lashing out at kids who were bugging him. 

Preston had a great advocate in his Grandma Sheri. She was his biggest fan. He spent many mornings and after school times at her home while Angela and Guy worked. Mom was great at pumping him up. It was difficult for Preston when she left this world. 

For Preston’s 6th grade year - he was at my home by 7 am. I  didn't know how to help him but I wanted him to know I loved him, and said so every morning as I sent he and Laila off to school telling them to be eagles and rise above the turkeys (kids) who pull you down. Laila was good for Preston. She’s an empathetic soul but it was wearing on her seeing how he was treated. And she had her own pre-teen issues and couldn’t be all that Preston needed. 

He had only two friends in his whole life—Eric Starkey and Megan Sanchez. 

He experienced so much alone time. So much isolation. 

Preston was that kid in school who turned over desks and kicked doors and broke windows.  He was suffering- and as a teacher I'm like-- remove him from the class but as his aunt - I say show some compassion and work with him.  It's really hard to know what to do around all of this.  

Preston turned into himself— he pretended to be a squirrel for  years in grade school complete with paws up by his face.  He watched the squirrel from "Over the Hedge" and loved his "mommy cookie."   He was a Scotsman/ Irishman complete with accent for two straight years from 8th to 10th grade and finally he wanted to go by Zark. This was his altar ego. He grew his hair out long and blonde. Stopped smiling or acknowledging people. He had some dark times. He even wore a trench coat and refused to talk to anyone. He was angry and hurting. 

The one bright spot was his relationship with his parents. Guy and Angela were as devoted as they come. They went to so many specialists to find some answers for his skin. Spent a ton of money. They supported him in his art and music endeavors. They got him involved in Mustang cars and club( like his dad) They took him camping and motorcycling and watched movies with him, played games. Preston loved playing card games. They hung out with him. Encouraging him and loving on him even though he was sooooo stubborn. 

Angela said, “ He was an a- hole much of the time , but he was MY a-hole.”

Preston loved spending time at Bear Lake. It was his happy place. He would drive his RC car up and down the beach doing g cool things and getting awesome pics. 

Preston went to a tech school half way through his Junior year and finished his senior high school year early. He was a smart kid. 

Preston was good at art - drawing and selling spray painted canvases at local art festivals. And at 18 he finally got some very expensive meds that made it so he could use his fingers. He taught himself guitar— loving Led Zepplin, and an electronic music program. He was teaching his mom how to play guitar. 

Preston left God - decided being an atheist was the road for him. He felt his prayers weren’t being answered. His body was always itchy and in pain. 

Preston's last good day was New Years Eve party with the Brown side.  Preston participated in karaoke- singing Englebert Humperkink songs -knowing every word and laughing.  Preston  lost his job in January and had been depressed and declining. No interest in his hobbies. Not wanting to get another job. Grunting at his parents. No showering. Holing up in the basement. Angela and Guy were worried. Angela reached out to Preston’s 3 older brothers who all talked to him just days before he took his life. 

… and Preston’s earth mission was completed on March 19th when he took himself out in a blaze of fire along with his beloved white Mustang. So tragic and hard to really think about. He was hurting so badly. He hated his body and his last act proved this. 

Earth life was mostly hard for Preston. And now he’s with Jesus and his Angel grandparents who can love on him. In fact Laila’s first thoughts were , “Preston is so lucky. He gets to be with Grandma Sheri now.” I believe this. I like believing in a loving, merciful, grace filled God and I know Preston does now too. It’s good to be a believer in times like this. 

If Angela and Guy knew they were only going to get 21 earth years with their boy and that Preston would have a hard go of it, I know they wouldn’t have turned this parenting opportunity down. I’m positive they would have told God and Preston, “Let’s do this. We got each other. It’s going to be frustrating at times but we can make a beautiful life together.” And that’s exactly what they did and now they get an eternity to come. 

I can still picture 12 year old Preston in his suit and tie looking so shiny, singing with all the 6th graders for their graduation program. Preston had a good voice. They sang a song from the musical RENT.  Angela and I sat in the audience and couldn't stop crying.  Our littles were growing up!

Here are the words: 

Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes. 

Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear. 

Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes. 

How do you measure, measure a year?

Measure in love

Measure your life in

Seasons of love.

Preston had some seasons of love. 

And now we will all shed five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred tears and work on loving each other better. 

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