My niece, Abby Welch and Jeffrey Bair got married and guess who married them? ME!
There is such a thing as marriage math … and the world would tell you to find someone who completes you, then your marriage will last. That’s not good math… you are already whole and complete. Infact, a ½ a person times a ½ a person equals a ¼ of a marriage...where if you bring your whole, complete self times another whole and complete self you will have a whole and complete marriage.
The goal isn’t happily ever after as many fairytales preach. In fact being 100% happy all of the time would be creepy and isn't realistic. In a study on the best of marriages, they found an 80/20 dynamic is best. 80% of things couples agree on and do well with each other and there is 20% where they don’t. And that’s how it should be. You are not supposed to agree on everything. You aren't supposed to do everything the same. You aren't supposed to do everything together all of the time. Difference is not a bad thing. Disagreeing is not about who knows best, but information on how you see things differently.
You happily ever after is your own responsibility. The person you are married to isn’t there to make you feel compete, happy, productive, healthy. You are in charge of that. Ultimately all you have control over is Who YOU want to be in your marriage and How do YOU want to show up? I hope you want to show up with love, trust, dedication and faith.
IF you find yourself wishing your spouse was more of something -- you just be more of that instead. If you want more $ -- you are the perfect one to find a way to make that. If you want more peace, love, security - that makes you the best one to bring those emotions to your marriage. Your spouse is there for you to love. Love them as they are - not as the person you think they should be. They are exactly who they should be.
When in doubt choose love.
A healthy marriage will help you to feel twice the joy and experience ½ the sorrow. Now that’s good math.
Today you choose your love, now wake up everyday and love your choice.
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| Waiting for the ceremony to start- Wayne, Lindsey, Laila, Becca, Anna, Jane and Steve Shurtz. |
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| Anna Welch was in charge of the donut cake... she made the chocolate flowers to decorate it. |
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| Lindsey, Tru and Grandma Welch |
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| MORE cousins: Lindsey, Alex, Landon, Nicole, Tru |
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| Laila with Jeffrey and Abby |
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| Holly caught her bouquet. |
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| Love Lindsey and Laila |
I'm official:
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