How to be a strong ALLY

I’ve been an ally in the LGBTQ space for years and now in the Black Lives Matter space.  

And some times it feels like a lot.  

I’ve had to work on managing my physical and psychological care to stay an involved, strong ally.  

SO

When life gets hard and the opinions of others are contrary and being an ALLY for LGBTQ or BIPOC is exhausting and it all feels like climbing a huge mountain-  here are some ideas on how to GROW yourself to meet the challenge. 

Work on giving others a lot of grace.  Move into curiosity and compassion towards people. Think to yourself…. “That’s so interesting they think like that. They are having different life experiences than me.   If they had my life they would talk and act like me.   We are all just flawed humans.”  I am here to advocate for my people and the LORD knows my heart and I trust that he has this all figured out.

There is a 20/60/20 rule that is good to think about when being an ALLY.   20% of the people will be on your side— committed to change and love and a growth mindset. 20% will be fixed in what they believe with little or no chance of changing them.  BUT there is 60% in the middle who we have a possibility of giving new ideas and ways to think about life.    So when I’m commenting to the fixed 20% I’m never trying to change them…. I’m preaching to the 60% who may read it and think... “Huh, I’ve never thought about it like that before… interesting…. you might be right.”  

Feelings come from thoughts, and feelings are vibrations felt in your body.  When thinking hateful, judgmental, discouraging thoughts about others or situations or comments then YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS TO FEEL THIS.  

It’s not worth it to feel icky all the time so really work on love, grace, curiosity, and compassionate thoughts for all involved, including yourself. 

It’s hard to “fight the good fight” when you don’t take care of yourself.  Do the fundamentals: Self-care, sleep, move,  breathe, water, eat healthily, pray, meditate.  Physiology then psychology.  

It’s hard to talk about limiting beliefs and changing thoughts when you don’t physically feel good. 

Do what you have control over.  

Control the controllables.  

You don’t have control over other people and their comments and actions, you only have control over you, your thoughts and well being.

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We can’t give up. We still have so far to go