Saturday, August 5, 2017

9 to 5 opens

9 to 5 opens today and it's the first show I have ever done where I didn't think about my weight.  I didn't step on the scale...and I'm determined not to for the rest of my life....and I didn't obsess about what size my costumes were.   In every show I've ever done I get cast and I put myself on a diet and have to lose 10 - 20 pounds to be ok with myself on stage.  I know no one really cared about this but me...but I would make myself lose the weight, get in deprive mode then as soon as the show was over I would eat with abandon... the regular yo-yo cycle that I have done for decades.

....this show and summer is different.  I am working on body love and not shaming the parts of my body that I don't  fit society's-media standards of good enough.  It has been a different journey, that's for sure.  I am working on "heart eyes" as I look at myself on stage and realize I am good enough just how I am.

Sometimes I'm good at intuitive eating and positive self care...some days I'm back to stuffing my face with food because I'm bored, or anxious or  bored.   But I'm learning and trying to change 55 years of ingrained habit.

I'm excited to be on stage tonight...and I know I'm enough.

We have all sorts of 70's stuff happening onstage and back stage with music and most popular candy and foods in that day.  We even have Wonder woman as our mascot... and a sign "Who runs the world? GIRLS!"

It was so fun having Landon's family and some friends come and see opening night....they were on the front row!!  Sophia and Andrew gave me yellow roses after,

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