Monday, March 13, 2017

Sad and eating

Today I found out a theatre friend of mine, Jenessa Bowen died.  It's  a mystery really, but she was really in a sad place lately with panic attacks and mixing alcohol and drugs.  Her brother found her in their apartment. I'm so sad.....Really devastated   Addison and Bre went to WSU with her and she was Annie when I played Miss Hannigan 14 years ago at Rogers Memorial theatre.  It says a lot when 80% of my facebook feed is filled with tributes to this one of a kind, spunky, bright, tortured light of a person.    I'm filled with emotion that I'm tired of "sitting" with so I turn to food.  I've eaten too much today and I''m back into my guilt and shame spiral.  I need to just allow this comforting, sad-day-food to happen without judgment, or I need to find other ways to "be" with my emotions and work on better self care.

I'm so new at this intuitive eating, that  my immediate knee jerk response to this sadness has been cookies, popcorn, brownie...anything sweet

I really believe the way through emotional eating is doing my inside work and understanding the emotion, then trying to care for myself in more productive ways instead.    There is so much for me to learn and digest and put into action in my life.  I have to remember it's a journey and not a destination.

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