Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Grown-up stuff

I've been thinking about my boys launching and relaunching into their lives as adults.  Addison left here at 19, 23 and then again at 25; Landon at 18 and then again at 24; Monson at 19 and  almost 22; Truman left at, 19, 21 and then came back.  We have had a revolving door policy that if they need to move back home, if there is room, they can.  We have Truman here now and I wonder if we are helping or hurting his grown-upness.  He is 24.  When Wayne and I were 24 we had been out of our parents houses for 3 years, in our West Bountiful home and were having our first child.  We were grown up. I know this is a different more expensive time...but I wonder when Truman will feel the need to move on with his life.

The moment I realized I was a grown up was when Wayne and I bought our first home in West Bountiful. We had been married two years and it felt like a very adult, forward thinking,  thing to do.
It came with the strings attached of needed steady incomes and chances of job advancements.
Buying a home
Getting Married
Finishing college
Getting the first "real" job with much more than a minimum wage, with benefits and insurance.
These are all "grown up" milestones.

Sometimes I'm sick of being a grown up and want to get rid of the monetary commitments I am involved with and down size and run away. Sometimes I do run away up to my bedroom and hide. But I know running away doesn't help anything. It doesn't take away my responsibilities or turn me back into a child.

Instead of running away I'm going to get better at  running toward life. To embrace and enjoy even the banal aspects of it. To be, really be in every moment of my life.  That sounds pretty grown up to me.

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