Sunday, September 7, 2008

Cookie Dough, anyone?

My uncle Lynn first clued me into the chocolate chip cookie theory. He would buy a bag of chocolate chips and put them in the cupboard and open one end and eat one chocolate chip. Only one. Then hours would go by and he would have another. Days would go by and finally when he went to make the chocolate chip cookies, the chips were all gone.
"What happened?" He would ask.
"After all, I only ate one."
How come is it so hard to stay out of the chocolate chips?

I have this same problem, once the chocolate chip bag is in my house , it's gone. I solved this no chocolate chips problem, recently, by not just buying the teeny 12 oz. bag, but by buying the 10 pound bag from Costco. Now thems choco chips!!!

One of my down falls is making chocolate chip cookie dough. I totallly have the recipe memorized and can whip up a batch in a matter of minutes. Monson loves the cookie dough and would beg me to make it. Laila loves the cookie dough. We all love the cookie dough!!! I rarely got a chance to turn any dough into more than 8 baked cookies. The dough would do. I would whip this dough up at the drop of a hat. Feeling like I was neglecting my kids....make cookie dough.! Monson had a bad day....make cookie dough!! Sunday afternoon doldrums...cookie dough to the rescue.
It worked for any number of ailments.

A number of ten pound bags of chocolate chips and hundreds of batches of cookie dough later, I have come to the following conclusion.
I use cookie dough in place of love. I think cookie dough will solve my bad mothering moments. Who cares if I just screamed like a maniac, have some cookie dough.
or my subconscious thought process goes something like this.....
Eveything bad is happening right now, I don't want to deal with all that, it's out of my control. I can control the ingredients in this bowl and make cookie dough that tastes good and all my kids will love it. They will love me too.
I think the psychobabble calls this transference.
I'm not saying it's healthy, but atleast I am aware of what I'm doing now.

My only solution to this current problem and my obsession with cookie dough is I don't buy white flour or brown sugar any more. I just don't have it in my house. It's hard to make gravy and I have to use corn starch instead, but it's curbed my cookie dough making, and some of my other baking as well.

I still eat a chocolate chip occasionally.
(Okay, a handful of chocolate chips, you know me. )
Afterall, I have a ten pound bag to eat through. :),

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