Mom's program

The First Grade Mother's Day program was such a treat. 

 I sat on the second row, proudly with my crown/hat on my head.  Laila made it for me , as did all of the other first graders for their moms.  It's a beautiful thing.

I went early with my two dozen cookies in hand, in an effort to get a good seat.   There was a wall of big people on the first row, but I thought in the second row I would be able to see her.... I couldn't.   Laila was on  the front row, smallest girl in her class.  She stood up and I still couldn't see her.   So I moved to the back and stood through the program.  It was better.   I had her beautiful face in my sight the entire time. 

 I was/am mesmerized by her. 

 She sang every word.  Did every huge action.  I don't recall if there was any one else even singing with her.....

 I began crying in the first song--"Mother when I see you smile, the world is such a happy place..."  

 I saw her look at me with that pleading, rolling of the eyes that means," Oh brother....she's crying again?" 

 I gulped in some air, looked heavenward, grabbed a napkin from the treat table and wiped my tears.  

I cried full-on in the second sweet mother's song that had sign language in it.  I just loved it.  Laila didn't take her eyes off of me the entire song.  She was heart felt....  and I felt her love in the song. I had tears falling off of my face.   (A soggy bra cry, my mom always called it) .....I grabbed another napkin and got my act together for the rest of the program.

After the program the first graders went to the treat table to choose a treat for their parent and deliver it to them. I got a beautiful iced sugar cookie that pronounced, I am "the best." 

On this day,  I felt like it.  

I loved the cookie and the hug and the darling homemade locket out of a matchbox with Laila's picture  in it. And,  Laila knew  I loved it because, "it made you cry, huh?"

Fretting again about... what else..... oh yeah, my chub!

My sister Marcie does Wednesday Weigh in on her blog......I like that idea!

So today is Wednesday weigh in on  Friday for me.....

I'm going to weigh and declare what's going on with my body once a week.

I usually live in a state of denial...it's right next to la-la land.

But, it's time to face up to the mess I've made this past winter/spring. 

My clothes are tighter, my pudge is showing more and more....I'm running out of pleasant options.... 

Since starting my Gold's Gym membership, in January,  I have actually gained 8 lbs.

I'm not talking muscle weight either .....I'm working out and then going home and feeling like I can eat any and every thing I want..... and I do, did, done!

So.....

Today is a new day.

I have some resolve.

I went to the gym this morning.

I can be aware of what's going into my mouth....and decide to think thin.!

Weight this week:  163

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful that the Lord saw fit to give us our days in 24 hour periods.  Nice little boxes.  No matter how bad it gets .... I get to go to sleep, gain some perspective and  start again. 

I am thankful for the beautiful weather to walk in this morning.....thank you Spring!

I am thankful for my new MAC computer that Wayne so generously got me, after my 6 year old DELL crashed big time...."the blue screeen of death" they called it.   So much to learn about this MAC computer ... I can't wait for summer when I should have more time!

I am thankful for car insurance.   Landon's Sunday crash would cost us a pretty penny with out it..... can you say,"cha-ching".......now I'm just without a car for 10 days..... 

I'm thankful for Mother's day....I love thinking about my mom and Wayne's mom and all they mean to me and my little family.   Such wonderful examples of faith and happiness through trials.  Plus,  I get to go the first grade Mother's day program today.  I'm really looking forward to this!

I'm thankful.

People ask…

How are you? How are things going? How's Wayne?

I answer

We are all good. Things are fine.

Then I go into my kitchen and eat , eat , EAT!

I'm a stress eater….remember….? I've had a bit of stress lately.

I have now eaten myself into a state of pain....

I started my day full of hope and ready to eat healthy with my Wayne.

Yogurt at 8:00--- I like yogurt...
A brisk hour walk with Si.....and all was well.

I even mentioned to her how my head works....
How I make fake deals with myself in trying to eat better....
I say, okay your kids will be taken away if you eat sugar today.....
or Your husband will leave you if you eat flour today....
Basically for weeks and months now, I've had no husband and no children...
I'm failing miserably!!!

I did good til 10:15…that's a.m..

Then food just kept flying into my mouth…including a bucket of popcorn at Heidi's Movie Birthday extravaganza, Si's choco chocolate cookies, Mel's peanut butter bars, and a huge container of Costco's chocolate covered Almonds….Great Harvest Cinnamon Bread….with Peach jam…., handful of Doritos that Truman was munching on, soup from JoAnne…more choco covered almonds…you get the idea….not a fruit and barely a vegetable in the bunch.

I'm sick and I'm sick about my self…

I can't seem to get it….

Tomorrow's another day….of making deals, and trying to eat good past 10:15.

Breathe

And

Pray

Bring it on!

How a typical Welch Sunday should run--
Wayne get's up at 5:45 and gets in the shower and quietly gets dressed and leaves for his Stake meetings by 6:15... He is in stake/ward/high council meetings all day til around 5, when he comes home to have a traditional roast beef and mashed potato dinner as a family.

I usually sleep in til nine. I'm trying to teach Laila about sleep in Saturday and sleep in Sunday....nine is the magic waking hour. She can't talk to me until then.
THen we watch spongebob square pants, eat some breakfast, and get in the tub or shower to clean up for our day. We put Mo-tab on the stereo. We wake the boys up around ten, and then head to Choir practice at eleven. Prep for my sunday school lesson. We get dinner started in the oven, then go to church at one.
We LOVE church..... seriously, we do.
Home by four and dinner at five.....
We visit our grandparents from six to eight and then come home for family game night...bed by ten.
Sunday's are lovely!

MY SUNDAY YESTERDAY WAS NOT LOVELY!



Wayne woke me up at 5:45am, screaming in pain and holding his chest. He was doubled over in pain and couldn't breathe. I threw some clothes on, left my sleeping children, and raced Wayne down to Lakeview hospital. He was having major chest pain....a heart attack? Wayne's pain was immense--- an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.....
We got checked in, the bishop was up early to give Wayne a blessing and tests began ....he had multiple EKG's, blood tests, Kat scan, chest xray, gamma-ray nuclear imaging test--more blood tests....and finally an Angiogram around 4 in the afternoon. The doctor went in with the idea of a possible angioplasty..... She found a good, healthy heart with only one left artery that looked a little constricted, but still had good blood flow.
Wayne was(is) still in a lot of pain....what's causing it?
The problem with all of Wayne's tests were they looked great.... then his blood enzymes would spike, then the next test looked a bit funny....then the next test looked great.... as a result Wayne had to stay over night for more blood tests and an ecocardiogram this morning.

His chest still hurts.

The doctor's have concluded that a viral infection in the lining of Wayne's heart is causing the pain.

We had many family and friends stop by to check on Wayne and see how he was doing, and see how to help my little family. I'ts great to have so much help. Truman, Monson and Laila were pretty much on their own all day....good thing they had multiple dinner offers, and got to eat at the Farley's with Laila enjoying a sleep over there , as well, so she could get off to school this morning.

(I was supposed to take off around 2 to head to St. George for another three days of testing for my job.... sun, fun, work, sun, you get the idea....no can do.... that got canceled pretty quickly.)

The boys brought Laila by last night to see her daddy...she was very concerned. She quietly approached Wayne in his bed and asked what the doctors told him, and then whispered, with elephant tears in her eyes..."you could have died."

While all of the trauma of Wayne and his heart is happening, Landon called around 4:30 and reported (cried) that he had gotten in another car accident. This time in my Prius. He was coming home from following Addison up to West Yellowstone....the rain was coming down, and Landon hydroplaned and spun around twice, flew off the freeway and into a muddy ditch. The back bumper of Master P is off and the windshield is cracked. Landon is unharmed. He is majorly shook up and is wondering about his relationships with cars, but okay-- the car is a mess. A tow truck had to pull him back onto the freeway ( cha-ching) and then he limped the car home.

Adversity...... you gotta love it baby!

After a good night's sleep, I'm ready to face all of the "mess" that was my yesterday. What a difference a day makes...

Laila conversation

Friday morning.
It was a little rainy so Laila wanted to take an umbrella to school.
She got out her new long handled Primary one. The primary Pres gives one to each child on their birthday...it's something about being protected and watched over under God's umbrella...you get the idea....but I digress....
Laila took the umbrella and immediately placed it behind her neck horizontally and hooked her arms over each end.
"Look mom, I'm a slave!" She smiled at me proudly.
I kind of looked at her quizzically. I didn't really know where this comment was coming from...I wondered what she had seen or heard of recently that would prompt this.
Then she said, "You know..... HEBREW?!?"
Ahhhhh..... too much Moses and The Ten Commandments. HEBREW SLAVES!

Then she paused and asked, "What am I? I know I'm not African , but what am I?"
I told her she had Latin heritage with roots in Puerto Rico.
"If you were a boy, I would call you Latino, but you are a girl so you are Latina."
She smiled at this.
"I like that. That's so pretty!" she said enthusiastically. "When I'm a mom and have a little baby girl, I'm going to name her Latina. How do you spell it? It's so cute!"

Laila went off to school smiling under her umbrella.

We've had other "I'm different" moments in our home. I remember times when Laila put lotion on and didn't rub it in all the way so she would appear white. Times when she put on my make up base to be lighter skinned. All of this, and she's only seven.

When her "What am I?" question happened, I kind of expected the worst...I was wrong. She ended up excited and pleased with herself.

I'm sure we'll have more conversations and moments of "different" through the years, but this one was a good one.

Latina, what a beautiful, beautiful word.