Courage matters

Thoughts on the Gay marriage debate

I had an acquaintance ask me the other day, when he found out I had a gay son who has a partner and children,  "How do you reconcile your membership in the LDS church and the church's stand on gay marriage?" 

Hmmmmmm?..... I told him, "I'm all about the love."

But I haven't been able to let it go.

Here's what I think.................The Lord knows us and doesn’t care if we are Heterosexual or Homosexual.  It doesn’t matter to him one way or another.  He loves all of his children and is aware of our strengths and weaknesses.   It’s all good.   Gay or Straight he still commands us all to marry someone of the opposite sex and have children.   That is His loving mandate.   

Many of my friends and relatives who are homosexual,  have done just this.  They have found someone of the opposite sex to love and move through this life with.  They have made and  kept their temple covenants.  Enjoying good sex lives.   They are either open about it with their spouse or not. Many  have made it work through this life and now beyond.   Some have ended up in divorce but don't regret having a family and children. I love them for this courageous choice.

Many of my gay friends and relatives have chosen another path-- to have same sex relationships.  They are moving forward in their lives with happiness and fighting the LGBT acceptance fight. Some are married (depending on the state or country) some want to be and cannot. I love them for this courageous choice. 

Gay or straight, finding a mate is not going to happen for everyone. 

I believe that governmentally defined marriage is different from what the Lord is saying should happen in His temples.  All marriages outside of the temple are basically civil unions...they are about government and rights afforded to citizens.   An eternal marriage IS between a man and a woman in a temple.

We are a world wide church, not just a Utah or United States church. I am for marriage/civil unions of all people if it means equality under the law. 

But we have many more social problems concerning the treatment of LGBT people beyond the marriage debate and what side we are on.

I have seen too many people when they “come out” get kicked out, put out, shunned, commit suicide, start in on drugs and alcohol…anything to take their pain away. This makes me so sad.  What is wrong with these families?  What is wrong with the parents?  Are you really a Christian when you respond this way?  There is no shame in someone’s sexuality.  Being Homosexual is nothing that we can  “pray” away.    It is what it is.   I don’t know what it would be like to  be gay in a heterosexual world.  It would be difficult at best…so why do we make it harder for our brothers and sisters?

We have to stop making homosexual men and women feel so badly about themselves growing up in the LDS church.   It is an orientation not a choice or even an addiction.   There is so much mis-information out there.   Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of.  Sexuality is also not  just who we are.  We are all Children of God.  We should be able to  have openly gay members in  our quorums and womens groups—their sexuality was not a choice….. how we treat each other is a choice.  Whether you are having sex or not doesn’t change your sexual orientation. 

If we all loved like we are supposed to then we wouldn’t have to draw any lines.  There would be no sides to be taken............but we are asked to take sides....so ....

I am going to stand on the side of unconditional love and acceptance.    I am choosing to do unto others what I would have them do to me….   I plan on being empathetic and my mother’s heart tells me that is not wrong.  I will not be the stimulus for another’s pain, suicide, or distancing from God.  I believe that we can all be on the Lord’s side…... The Lord’s side is very large and has room for all who love.

Alfie Lyle Birth Announcements

Friends, food and fun

 Couples get away to St George with Farleys and Belnaps. 

What a riot!  We biked 3 days in a row, went to the home show to see our friend Calli Bingham's designs, played lots of games, watched some Olympics, ate the country club's Salmon salad and awesome Benja's Thai food and just had an all around good time.   Oh, and we had our rhubarb pie,  swigg cookies and drinks too.  You can tell I was excited about the food.  We played Pickleball and went on walks. Actually our version of Pickleball is "prickle relish" ball, because we make up our own rules but we had fun.  We need these courts in Bountiful. 

Home show tour. We only went to the million dollar ones. 

Farleys and us top of Zion's canyon. It's such a beautiful ride. 

Belnaps are the champion Pickle team. 

We laugh a lot and tease each other but it's all good. We are a compatible bunch!!  We will be back in April for our hundred mile bike ride. 

Laila photo shoot

On  Presidents day, Laila decided to spend some brother time. She played basketball with Monson for maybe 20 minutes but it felt like forever--(she is not much for basketball), and did a photo shoot with Tru which took like forever but felt like 20 minutes --(she loves playing model).  Tru dressed her up like singer Janelle Monae.  They shot in the garage then Tru did his photo shop magic and this is the result. 

Valentines Day

I love that today is 2/14/14..........

Laila has a 50's Sock Hop Dance  for her 6th grade party so she had to get a poodle skirt and her hair all done up by Emilee Dahl.   She looks darling...just a little tired.  Brother Addison made up the Soda can valentine sentiment to hand out.  "Soda you want to be my Valentine?"  We love it.  She told me Truman is her Valentine this year and she will be sharing a heart shaped pizza with him later.   

I love that Monson is home and working and moving forward in his life dating Lexi Jewell and thinking about the future.

I love that Truman is in school and such a big help around here.  He is an awesome friend and son.

I love that Landon has found family with Alex, Sophia and Andrew.  They are all so sweet together.

I love my daddy-o.  He is not doing great right now.  He's in the hospital fighting off an infection.  He's tried to be so strong these past 9 months since momma passed away. He is enduring to the end. 

I love Addison and Bre and my cutest baby boy...Alfie.  Valentine baby Alfie has stolen my heart. His sweet smile and wise eyes are just too much.  

My greatest love is My Wayne.  He has been my Valentine since I was 16....and we have been through a lot together but there is no one else I would rather share this life with.  My friend Paula shared this observation..."deep, true, everlasting  love only comes after we see how imperfect the other one is and commit to them anyway."  

Courage quote

More baby

We played in Hollywood Disney and went to Addison's work. He is a great Mickey Puppeteer inThe Disney Jr show. Alfie did awesome.  It was a gorgeous 84 degree day. 

It was fun seeing Wayne with a stroller again.  We ran into Tower of Terror three times!!

I got to bathe Alfie. I'm just so in love with all of him but especially his big feet with finger toes. He looks like a little man. 

Wayne and Laila ran to the temple to do baptisms.  We gave Addison and Bre a temple date out too. 

Then back for more baby time. 

Florida Baby

We raced from the airport to get our first glimpse of Alfie even though it was midnight. Atlast......

I'm with my baby!!  Alfred Lyle is a sweetheart. He is in the eat, sleep and poop stage but it's just great to hold him and watch him smile as angels go by. 

We can't get enough of him!!  We have fed and bathed and held and rocked and been spit up on. Joy. 

It's awesome watching my son with his son.  Addison is a very involved, committed dad who loves to watch his boy and brush his hair. 

Bre has taken to motherhood like a fish takes to water but she is a mermaid so it came naturally.  She is getting littler as Alfie gets bigger.  

Humpty Dumpty

Our past Stake President Brian Taylor wrote and shared this with us. It has really touched my heart.