Worth the Wrestle

I had a friend approach me who had left my church years ago..and was now feeling the pull to come back  to the fold but had so many questions still and wondered how I reconcile my faith and my family situation....

My response:  

I have been pondering what to write back to you in response to your letter on questions, struggling and reconciling.  I am deeply humbled that you would entrust me with this.  Your doubts don’t trouble me in the least, they only inspire me and have caused me to really think about my own faith journey.

I too love the direction the church is going with being more transparent and more welcoming to questions.  “ Bring every question…because questions are good. It means you are a seeker rather than a doubter.”

I know friends and family members who have left the LDS church because they focused on the one or two trees that bugged them or that they disagreed with  and couldn’t lift their eyes to see the beautiful gospel forest surrounding them.  I am determined not to let this happen to me.

“When we are willing to wrestle spiritually for knowledge and revelation, the Spirit will enlighten us, guide us to truth and bless us with peace of heart and mind. “   This quote by Sheri Dew is so true for me.

I learned over  a decade ago, when my world was turned seemingly upside down, that when I had questions, or issues that were beyond my understanding, that caused me hurt and frustration… too literally visualize putting all of this in a box and setting it at my loving Savior’s feet.  I turn it over to the Lord.  Every once in a while I take the box back and open and question, struggle and wrestle some more.  I get a little further down the path, then box it up again and repeat.  It really works for me.  I can live in paradox.  Sheri Dew says.. “When we have unresolved questions, our challenge does not lie in what we think we know.  It lies in what we don’t YET know.”  There is so much I don’t yet know ….but I’m willing to wait and learn.

When I’ve had people question my faith or why would I stay in a church that “hurts” my own family members… I look at them  cup my hand and say… “In my hand are all of the troubling issues on homosexuality and gay marriage etc..that I don't know the answers to.” And then I sweep with my other hand over everything else in front of me and say, “And here are all of the things I do know. …power of  God’s Priesthood ,  families are forever, pre mortal life,  life after death, the truth of the Book of Mormon, all the amazing service my church does, the healing power of love,  the sealing power of the temple, how the Spirit works, the atonement of Jesus Christ…… This far outweighs my small cupped hand. "       

 I realize my cup runneth over because I belong to this  glorious Church filled with imperfect, questioning people just like me.

I love you my friend, wherever your questioning takes you.