1. Reclaim a connection with my body. Mindfulness. Feel all parts and love on it. No shame. No diet I've ever been on has ever worked in the long run and I never want to do it again. I want to be comfortable in my skin. No more judgment. Tune into body signals of what's enough.
2. Connect to feelings and being kind to self. Don't shove feelings down with food. Need to really feel the feelings. It's important to embrace all feelings and and learn about myself more. Feelings are neither good or bad...behavior is. All feelings are welcome. How are you feeling? Good. Good is not a feeling.
3. Name a deeper positive reason keeping the weight on. I'm giving my weight my power. It's consuming and fills my thoughts and my day. I'm disowning my power and giving it to my weight. It's my power and I can take it back. Don't have to fulfill talent potential...weight stops me every time..... hide behind weight so I don't try out . SO instead of trying out when I'm thinner and not getting a part, I can blame it on my weight..instead of lack of talent. When thinner...... Unasked for attention from men this causes trouble in my relationship with my Wayne.
so............What really want to do now?
I want to go to a body love/mindfulness retreat with either Jamie Mendell or Geneen Roth.
I don't want to pass on the legacy of body loathing that I learned from my mom.
Size of my body does not define the size of my life. I want a BIG beautiful Life. Filled with love, delicious food, adventure and magic.