I thought my screaming days were over. I don't have 4 little boys running around, breaking things, teasing and crying anymore. I have learned about DHEA and the positive effects it has on my psyche. You would think I could keep it together with one 11 year old girl....but alas....Tuesday was a fall apart morning. I didn't want it to be ... I didn't know I was having PMS episode.... I had forgotten to take my morning pills for about a week....and, well, let's just say when Laila fought me about practicing the piano for the 4th time, I just blew up. I let her have it. I made sure she knew I was boss and I made sure I said it in a very, VERY loud monster voice showing my monster face along with it.
At the end... I did end up crying and running to my room...and eventually I begged my sweet, crying child's forgiveness...but I'm just so sad this PMS mom-ster reared it's ugly head......again.
And I'm sad thinking about the mother I was to my little boys every 28 days.......my terrified little boys. Hopefully the scars aren't too deep and my sons know how much I truly love and treasure each one of them....and that I love being their mother.
Anyway... I guess I'm writing about this in an effort to clear the air....to acknowledge what happened and hopefully never allow it to happen again.
I want a peaceful home.
I want to be remembered as the mother who spoke in nice, happy tones, with a big belly laugh.
I want to never see the scared-of-mother look on my daughter's face again.
Stay away Mom-ster!