Marcie would be 55

My sister's birthday is today.... it's a bittersweet day for me.  Marcie's was the first birthday I memorized, after my own of course and we celebrated  all birthdays together.

Last year, we went to lunch at Plates and Palates and she was trying to feel good, trying to figure out her new diabetic way of eating..then April she feels a tumor in her stomach, May she finds out it's cancer.   June she struggles to walk and has a final family picture taken. July she has one last trip to our beloved Bear Lake.  August she is dead.  Poof.
I'm happy Marcie's in heaven, laughing it up with mom and dad.  I'm glad she's done with this world and all it's problems.  I'm grateful she's my angel now....
But, man... I just miss her sooo much.
I want to call her up, text her, proclaim my love for her on facebook and insta...and go to lunch or dinner with her to celebrate her 55 years...but she's not here.

So I sit.

I'm in a fog still about this.  Tears come easily almost every time I drive by her house....

I miss my big sis.

I dreamed about her last night. Dreams are weird.  I had two sets of eyebrows and was asking her about this and she was nursing a baby.  SO whatever that means!?!?   But it was nice to see her, be with her and talk to her in my dream.