Friday, February 5, 2016

Thoughts on a Friday

 I've had a sad week. I have cried every day. This hasn't happened for awhile but it did this week.   A tv show had a funeral, I read a book, I saw a meme on Facebook, I tended Alfie, my sis in law mentioned my mom and how wise she was and how she needed her right now, Tayla smiled at me, the teachers in staff meeting brought mom up....... All of these brought so many tears. I find it hard to get out of bed in the morn and to stay away from said bed throughout my day. I thought there must be something teally wrong with me so I went to the doctors and had labs run and an ultrasound to check out my organs. I received an all clear- I'm so healthy which is good news. The bad news is I'm grieving. 

I got my hair done today by Gary and we cried together. He has yet to clean Marcie's side of the bathroom or deal with a lot of her stuff. He said it was good to know we were both grieving and not just him. 

My friend Kim gave me the draft of a book to quickly read and comment on that her sister wrote. It's called "Smile" and it's about her husband dying of cancer in 2011. I really liked the book but it brought up so much raw emotion in me. It was hard to get through and hard to put down all at the same time. 

This picture with the window line down the middle makes me think of mine and Laila's current relationship. We are on opposite sides most of the time. 

Laila is...trying.  Trying to be happy, trying to be good about going to school, trying not to let her friends bug her. She is also trying my patience. I'll keep trying to be a better mom to her.  

Addison got his eyes fixed. He got lens replacement surgery and has 20/15 vision now. "Twas blind but now he sees."  He got glasses in kindergarten an had -10.5 vision. I am -4.5 and it's crazy hard for me to see so I know how much worse it was for him.  I am just so happy for him.  The procedure prep and the procedure were not ideal. He felt all sorts of pain. He said it was like having an elastic flip his eye over and over.  Then his anesthesia stopped in his arm and 4 times the amount later, he could still feel what was going on and remember it.  
But.... Good news... He can see 

We have a lot of change coming this spring. All of our kids except for Laila will be moving. Alex and Landon out of Eagle Mountain. Addison Bre and Alfie out of the Shurtz home. Truman hopefully somewhere with a new Delta airline job or if not that he says he is outta here. Monson, Lexi and Tayla off to Fresno, California for pest control summer sales. 

Just when I like having everyone near and available for Sunday dinner, things  change. 

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