I enjoy learning new things. I'm having a great, terrible, awesome time learning to be a painter. I keep calling myself an artist and I really believe that those mind games help. I"m determined to just keep pushing through...and to not quit.
"Art doesn't have to be precise...it just has to have passion."
I'm reflecting on other talents and hobbies I have attempted to get good at....and gave up on.
1. I would love to sit down and play the piano and sing my guts out. I can't. I can barely play simplified hymns. Haltingly. I'm really bad at it, even though I want to be good. When Monson went to 1st grade, I told myself I was going to spend time every day practicing the piano and take lessons. It lasted for 3 months...then I got obsessed with having a baby girl...and piano practice fizzled and died. I make Laila practice 5 mornings a week in an effort to have a piano accompanist in the family. I'm living through her.
2. Crochet. I learned to knit when I turned 40. My friend Linda Wangsgaard taught me. I have enjoyed it so much. I have made bags, purses, scarves, slippers, hats...and I have even taught other sisters and friends. So....the thought of crocheting was not so far fetched. I had Wanee teach me to crochet on our Seattle trip. I figured I was trapped in the car for 14 hours and would really get the hang of doing baby blanket edging. I even went so far as to prepare 4 different blankets and burp cloths with punch holes, knowing I would just love it. I barely, grudgingly finished the edges on these flannel creations and swore...never to do it again. My eyes are too bad and my hands were cramping. Maybe I'll try it again...but for now I'll stick to knitting.
3. I want to be a gardener. Each year I buy flowers and tomato plants and even some peppers, knowing I can do it...... this year will be different! I weed and water for a month, then lose all interest and by the time I remember that I'm a gardener, the deer have eaten all of the blooms anyway. Me and dirt don't mix.
4. I made porcelain dolls for my children to put their blessing day outfits on. I thought this was so romantic and a great memory keepsake. Well...let's say I made porcelain dolls for 4 of my 5 kids. My last one was actually a brownish colored porcelain that looked more like Laila then my red headed Monson, even though I called it my Monson doll and put his blessing outfit on it. I named it Laila's Doll when she arrived...even though it still has Monson's outfit on it. It's all confusing. I went to a porcelain kiln to make me a big Monson baby doll. I paid all of my money. Lost my passion for it. Then forgot about it. When I went back months later to see what was up, the place was out of business. I have since lost all interest, so Monson and Laila will share a doll. It's the same one we use as our Baby Jesus in the nativity tree each year...so I guess they have to share with Him too.
5. Snow Skiing. I went on my first and last ski trip at 36 years old. Growing up along the Wasatch front, one would think that I enjoy outdoor winter sports. NO...... I'm more the indoorsy type...a darkened theatre and a bucket of popcorn is my idea of a fun time. We were invited for a weekend to ski Brighton with the Morley family. We thought this would be a good time for the boys to learn to ski, and me and Wayne as well. I remember how scared I was in the chair lift. Where were the seatbelts? I remember getting off of the lift and trying not to fall by thinking I was throwing my arms around Antonio Banderas. This is what the instructor told me to do. It still makes me smile. I remember how out of control I felt careening down the snowy hill. I remember struggling to snow plow and come to a stop at the bottom. I remember how cold I was. I remember not liking it. That's okay. I atleast tried it for a weekend.
The "big boys," Addison (12) and Landon (10), had other experiences on the hill that weekend. Landon some how slipped out of the chair lift as it was advancing up the hill and Addison grabbed on to him and held on to him for dear life til they reached the top. It was a 40 foot drop at times, and really a miracle that no one got hurt. Mike Morley was in the chair ahead of these boys and witnessed the entire thing. They were safe, so we didn't hear about this death defying experience til hours later. It makes my heart race even now.
I'll stick to being an artist.