Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wednesday Weigh in

WARNING: Don't read if you are sick of hearing about weight loss plans gone awry.
I will be complaining and comparing...... consider yourself warned.

I have been on my diet blog for almost one year now.
In that time, I have lost 11 pounds and gained 20 back.
I have exercised faithfully.
I have thought about food constantly.
I've had my good days and bad months.
I thought if I got it down on paper or computer screen , as the case may be, it would help.

Now, I'm starting to rethink my plan.

I thought for sure, in a years time, I would be able to report weight loss success, and all sorts of food tips and life changes that would inspire other last 20 pounders.
Alas, I've failed.

I don't know what is wrong with me, what to do, where to turn???????

I have avoided the scale for 6 weeks now, with good reason . But stepping on it yesterday was a sight to behold. I screamed, then I cried. It's like I couldn't feel how tight my clothes were until I saw the number on the scale staring up at me.

Everything is tight.
I'm back to a food journal and de-junki-fooding my house.
I'm back to thinking about every bite that goes into this mouth.
I'm back to my crazy.
I guess I just need to keep moving forward..... and try to stay calm.
Maybe my weight blogging days are over.


erin noelle said...

Melinda- Here's the deal. Think of it this way. For the rest of your life, for the rest of all of our lives, we pick a number, a weight that is our top. When we hit that, we know we have to de junkifood the house as you say. We keep a diary, etc. You lose to the bottom weight that you're excited about, then gradually you will get back to that top weight. The key is not to have bad feelings associated with that process! Just go up and down in that range and feel good about not going up and up and up. You always bring it back down. THAT IS NOT FAILURE. THAT IS SUCCESS.
To everyone around you---YOU LOOK THE SAME--Great!

Landon and Josh said...

Mommy when I look at you I just see the prettiest lady I know! The fact you are my momma is just a bonus!
Weight loss is a constant thing in our lives---because we do all eat and that's just how it is. It's not the result of losing those "last twenty pounds" that is worth telling and showing off and growing from,(though I do get it is desired) it is the journey we go on as we work to lose it that is what we grow from, learn from, and can talk about and show off.

Funny side note on weight loss--Josh is trying to lose weight---our "big" pants are tight on him and wy to big for me now so he is refusing to buy a bigger size--he will "just lose the weight"
so the other night I asked what he wanted for dinner and he said something healthy.
I made what I thought was healthy:
spaghetti noodles broken quite small
a red pepper, green pepper, yellow pepper, and orange pepper---all cut up inti bite bits
two tomatoes
a cucumber
and a hint of mozerella cheese
all tossed together with a pinch of salt and pepper and some EVOO and balsamic vinegar

we ate he said nothing. As we strted doing dishes he says, "I ate so healthy all day and then we had that"
I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room. Haha. That was my idea of healthy.
At least he thought it was delicious!! But still funny.

Anywho momma I love you! Keep going!

Ps I am now a de-junker like you. I realized that over a month ago when we stared working out everyday and Josh went on his weight loss goal---I got rid of so much crappy food (most just ate it really quick but still) and now it's not in the kitchen I don't eat it. I eat the fuit that has always been there just not on my radar when chocolate and chips were available. The de junking nit only works for me it makes me giggle and think oh I'm so like my mom.

Si said...

You are beautiful. Stop crying. Or I'll make you get up at 5AM and go to Golds.

Melanie said...

Here is a little trick I have found. Buy a new scale, my new one weighs 4 pounds less! Look at that I didn't have to do anything and I lost 4 pounds. You know you are beautiful, I agree with Erin, we all gain and lose and gain again. Enjoy the journey!