Thursday, December 4, 2008

What's up with Chopsticks?

I'm back....and sleepier than ever.
I tried to Blog while in China...but we were traveling too much ( 11 airplane flights in 12 days) , staying up too late, getting up too early, no internet access...you get the drift. The computer was the last thing on my mind.
But.....I'm back.
Here's what I would have written while in China.

What's up with chopsticks? As a diet device...they work great for me. I can't seem to get anything even near the proximity of my mouth with them.
I set a goal to get good at using chopsticks while on this trip.
I was determined to join in the culture and not ever ask for a fork while traveling from Shenzhen to Beijing.
I was pretty good at the first couple of awkward stick squeezing bites, then my hand would cramp up and I would resort to stabbing the food instead. It was always a helpful meal when we had Peking Duck-- I could use the little pancakes for the duck and for all of the other food on the table as well. I could eat all of my food like a burrito....No chopsticks needed.

The first day, I tried some of the hot, hot.....did I say hot as in spicey, Schezhun cuizine. What I could actually taste was good. It was good until the spice kicked in and my head felt like it was going to pop off and my lips were on fire, and my mouth was numb. What's up with that?
At this point I didn't care if I couldn't eat with chopsticks, and I didn't even want a fork. I wanted medical care. I needed a big drink of milk, stat. Oh, that's right-- no milk in China, just soy milk.

The only thing I could think of to do, while in this mouth burning state , was to hoot. I actually let off little/big screams of pain. My eyes were sweating, my face was red.
I was still hungry.
As soon as the firey-numb settled down, I tried a different bite.
Pick up the sticks, try to concentrate on picking up the big piece of unknown-food, have most of it fall off the sticks before it get's to my mouth, end up licking hot spice off the chopsticks instead. The circle of life. Hot burning mouth , sweaty eyes, little screams. Quite the sight. My table mates were laughing-- they obviously didn't eat, what I ate.

Another interesting chinese delicacy is a chicken dish where they don't take the bones out before they chop up the chicken. I don't know this , of course. I toss a piece of chicken in my mouth, and end up spitting out bone schrapnel onto my plate-- along with alot of the meat. Why is this a good idea?

I'm still hungry.

Using chopsticks as a diet device is great in theory.....what actually happened is I wouldn't get enough to eat, then I would just stuff down 2 candy bars after dinner.
Ahhhh, Snickers.

3 comments:

The Bentley Family said...

Welcome back! I'm glad you made it home safely. LOVE the blog by the way. Chopsticks? What the?

D2Quilter said...

I'm so glad you're home safe! I missed you. Not to mention your kids! I saw Landon's post on Facebook. You just went on the BIG LONG trip so that your kids could appreciate you more! I know.

How do you think they get down all the yucky stuff? they put hot spices on it so they can't taste anything else!

Merry Christmas!!

Kimberly said...

Sounds like quiet an experience.

I'm craving snickers now though...