Thursday, September 18, 2008

Excuse me, I Fluffed

Man, the South Beach low carb, high protein bars make me toot!
It really is embarrassing!!! I know it's a natural part of the bodily functions but...this function is STINKY!
I try not to let it happen, but I seem to be losing the battle.
The flatulance really comes at the most inappropriate time.

Try being y knowing what your stomach and intestines and body is cooking up.

Try sitting through a school meeting, hoping to be involved in the discussion and having to excuse oneself time and again to deal with this problem.

Try getting a massage-- how do you let one rip in that circumstance?

Try driving your 6 year old in the car and sneaking one off.

My friend Linda gave me a funny book about gas. It's called, "Pee-yew, is that you Bertie?"
It goes and explains all of the ways this family toots and still blames it on the little brother, Bertie-- the silent killer, the machine gun, the popcorn popper. You get the drift. (That's a pun.....get the DRIFT?)
Anyway, since I started having one of these South Beach bars every day, I've never been so gassy . Wayne explained that it's the Malytol in the bars. I don't know what it is, but it doesn't agree with my constitution. I quit eating the bars and Wayne wondered why. I explained the farty situation and he went out and bought me a bottle of Beano.

Beano to the rescue!!! It seems to be working. Before I eat a bar, I pop a Beano-- and , well, I can't say there is no fluffer, but it does seem smaller and not quite so stomach churning.

"Pee-yew is that you Melinda?"

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